to be p***ed off to come home to fimd my DS1 age 4 watching tv while my DP naps?

[pippylongstockings]

My DP had a lads night out on Friday - so I very kindly went to stay at my mums with our kids so he could have some friends to stay.( One friend was over from Australia and another had travelled several hours.)

I stayed at my mums Friday and Saturday night giving him plenty of 'man' time - I dropped kids back this am as I had to help my sister this morning.

I rang home at 2pm to see how everyone was - no reply.

I got home at 3pm to DS1 answering the door telling me to be quiet as Daddy and DS2 were having their naps!

DS1 is 4. He was set up watching tv. My DP said he wasn't really asleep he was just resting but I know that it's not true, as I rang an hour earlier and he didn't hear the phone and had no idea that I had rung. So he must have been asleep for over an hour.

I am really annoyed - DP thinks I am over re-acting! Am I ?

[abraid]

Yes, that's a fair point: I have only ever done this while lightly napping upstairs, not in hungover deep slumber.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Oh I have had a few hungover naps in the front room with DS watching telly or playing with trains - but it's a case of napping in a way that I will wake up if something happens.
I think what is galling for the OP is the H's behaviour seems to display such indifference to anyone else - never mind that it's his turn to look after the DC, he's going to go to bed and sleep so deeply that he doesn't hear the phone ringing.

[bigchris]

exactly abriad

also our mums would have spent ages putting clothes through mangles in the garden etc without keeping a close eye on the kids

[abraid]

I'm thinking that some of you either have very dangerous houses (and front doors that aren't secure) or very full-on children. Or else you keep anacondas or boxes of matches around the place or something.

Both mine would have been capable of safely watching TV for an hour with an adult napping upstairs. What do you think happens in families where shifts are worked?

This is a four-year old, not a four-month old.

[SolidGoldBrass]

It's the fact that he went upstairs and went to bed that's the issue - that's not the same as dozing on the sofa in the same room as a 4-year-old.
Is he normally thoughtless and selfish?

[abraid]

YABU.

[bigchris]

in same room or upstairs?!!

[reikizen]

oh god, i've done that! Loads of times! But I am a bad mum I know that already from lots of other threads on here!

[bigchris]

nappyaddict, thanks for cat

four yr old was with ds when i did this, stairgate on kitchen door, very light napper, lol
your not from ss are you?

[maltesers]

Majority of parents here it seems reckon YANBU...Hubby needs to know that..You are kind enuf to give him time out with the boys ... he must do the same and be responsible.

[nickytwotimes]

Well, upstairs and in bed is different.
I think most of us assumed you meant in teh same room.

Not very clear.

[screamingabdab]

BTW, I get (unreasonably) annoyed about DH being capable of napping, because I just can't seem to do it no matter how knackered I am. But he works hard, does a lot with the DSs, and would only nap on the sofa.

I would be steaming if, having had a whole weekend to himself, he was so irresponsible (it's NOT the TV-watching that's the problem).

I hope he apologises to you, Pippi

[screamingabdab]

YANBU.

How much does he look after the DCs on his own ?

I suspect maybe he need to do it more

[Blondeshavemorefun]

yabu to be annoyed that your dc is watching tv (even though you say you didnt mind)

yanbu that your dh didnt know your child had opened the door - therefore out for the count/not really looking after your dc

[slowreadingprogress]

yanbu. Leaving a child that age alone while you sleep upstairs is highly irresponsible and dangerous, and stupid.

[WinkyWinkola]

YABU to mind him having a nap whilst the DCs watch telly.

YANBU to be annoyed that DS1 could have got out of the front door by himself and your DP would have been none the wiser.

Wish my DCs would let me snooze whilst they watch a bumper episode of Dora.

[bigchris]

god when i was pregnant i often went upstairs whle two yr old watxhes beebies for a nap

[tootiredtothink]

YANBU.

I've always occasionally napped in the same room as my dc as they've watched TV - no problem there as I'm easily accessible to them.

However, to go upstairs to go to sleep is not on. The fact that he opened the front door on his own is worrying (my ds, 4, is also able to open our door).

Your DH should be bloody grateful he had the weekend to himself and thus appreciate and make an effort with the time he then has with his kids.

[pippylongstockings]

Knickersonmahead - I have only tried to clarify to others why I was so pee-d orf. Your right in as much as I clearly have not put enough detail in my OP. Sorry will rant with more detail in furture!

[TitsalinaBumsquash]

Well YANBU but only because he was in bedwhile i pressume DS1 was downstairs....

If he had been napping on the sofa in the same room as the kids then i think thats ok, i do it with my to after checking the house is secure but would never actually go to bed and leave them in a different room.

[mayorquimby]

actually i think his break might have been getting to sleep on the sofa last night.

[preciouslillywhite]

YANBU. The lazy rotten boozy git.

I would be BESIDE myself with self righteous rage/envy

[Knickers0nMaHead]

Why do people only say part of the problem in the first op, wait for replys, then say, oh well so and so happened aswell.