for thinking that Bear Grylls is stretching the word 'survival' by using it in relation to

[nickytwotimes]

a trip in rural Ireland?

I mean, come on, ffs.

Surely the biggest challenge is getting enough footage without walkers in it?

He's nice with no kit on, Budd. Just my type: the lean kind. Mmm.

I'm just watching it back now. He's in a farmer's field somewhere. Bet all the locals are standing around out of view.

He's the Chief Scout you know. (Pointless info emoticon)

i did know that but forgot to ask what they did with peter duncan. isn't it a job for life?

Yes what did they do with poor Peter?

I think Bear Grylls bored Peter to death with his monotone delivery.

Anyway going back to the OP maybe his heading to rurual Ireland and planning on visiting the local drinking a skinful then trying to make his way back to his hedge of choice in the pitch black without being knocked down by a speeding car

Poor Peter. Last seen walking along a lane in Co Kerry in his old sheepskin coat. Not sure what happened to him after that...
Bear is like Mr Mears' little brother.
I liked his books (when he climbed Everest and crossed the N.Atlantic in a little boat) but they were written before his TV career.
I watch but I giggle.

'Poor Peter. Last seen walking along a lane in Co Kerry in his old sheepskin coat.'
Now I'm worried. Did we get a close look at that sheep that Bear was mauling?

Maybe Peter encountered Bear at the end of the lane and Bear killed him and slept in Peter's skin

Puts on Bear Grylls ridiculous over important voice 'Today I am going to brave the family kitchen....and see if I can actually make a cup of tea with my bare hands.....and make it back into the lounge without spilling any'. Mrs Grylls 'Oh thanks love'.

He is fit but soooooo annoying I have to leave the room if DH is watching otherwise I end up saying 'FFS' continually until he has finished sliding down a mountain on his bottom for no apparent reason other than to give kids new ideas of how to hurt themselves.

Worst episode I have seen so far showed him walking inside an old gold mine tunnel with a home made flame torch that went out half way . I mean how dangerous can you get. Oh and the floor of the cave was frozen. Totally staged.

Well, see, in my pre-ovulation fantasies, he doesn't have to speak. The language of love is all I need from him .

But he would expat. A running commentary all the way through.

Then I'd just have to sit on his face.

LOL.
Bet he makes condoms out of sausage skins.

Oh yes I s'pect Bear would rabbit on and on and on, and I don't mean 'talking dirty' to you expat.
And instead of a cup of tea and a fag (or a Garibaldi biscuit) as his grand finale, he'd whip out a thimble of stale urine and an eviscerated witchity grub. Or try to make one smoke a dried out hurdygurdy plant.

i'd rather be stuck on a desert island with ray mears, he may not be so attractive but he'd build you a house and cook you dinner

i'm tellin ya, people, that's what bondage gear is for!

You've obviously met Bear types before expat!

I was a big time climber - mostly rock - for a while, cornsilk. Yep, I've had my share of Bear types (and probably someone else's, too ).

And they were all dirty dirty boys.

expat i'm jealous. i like 'em lean too

Expat you should do your own survival show. I've read the escaping from the bathroom window story before. You have much to share!

On tonight's episode, we'll be discussing what you can do if he's got a small tadger.

Do you go for the mercy shag, or plan your escape?

Next week, 'The Return of the Two-Pump Chump: Do you hope for an improvement, or dump?'

PMSL. You should put that idea forward to Channel 4!

I would, seriously, much rather have Ray Mears in my bed hedge than Bear. I cannot fancy Bear Grylls at all, he's such a ponce! Ray actually tells you about survival and if that means bringing a lighter or a tent, he brings a lighter or a tent. Ray would never do something dangerous for the sake of showing off. He would save your life and catch you a rabbit while Bear was off dangling off a hillock on a piece of string and shouting. He makes Bear look like an attention-seeking 6-year-old.