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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to boycott tesco over this?

86 replies

hopingalways · 04/07/2009 10:52

I am 24. My dh is 24. the other week our local tesco refused to allow me to by dh a 4 pack of beer because "your husband looks under 25". I had already proved I was over 18, and while DH could pass for 20 if he lied he does not look 17. and I do not look like a cradle snatcher. He was wearing his wedding ring ffs!

I even had the duty manager try to tell me that the law prevents him selling alcohol to someone accompanied by anyone under 25 . This is bollocks, the offence is for the buyer to then give the alcohol to someone under 18, not to sell alcohol to someone who is accompanied by an under 25.

DH left the store in humilation. They still refused to serve me even though I was now accompanied by nobody. A man in his 50s offered to get the beer for me, and this was refused as "we know her husband is under 25 and the beer is for him". They then allowed a women to buy a bottle of wine, accompanied by a 3 yr old (with a very good faked driving license?)

I am writing to tesco HQ to inform them that their challenge 25 policy is being taken to hte nth degree by idiots. This has led to me taking my custom to their competitors, costing them several thousand pounds a year.

AIBU to now refuse to shop in tesco for ruining my dh evening, embarrassing him in public and for generally behaving like morons?

OP posts:
FabBakerGirlIsBack · 04/07/2009 13:11

thumbwitch

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 13:19

I'm 30 next week and constantly get asked for ID in Morrisons, I happily show it with a proud look on my obviously youthful looking face and off I go with my booze in my bags

As you were purchasing the alcohol (who's to say the 4 pack wasnt for you?) and proved you were old enough to buy it then Tesco are in the wrong! I would definately take it higher and likewise I would take my custom elsewhere.

StealthPolarBear · 04/07/2009 13:19

Eyeballs- no, but if they look under 25 they have to prove they're over 18. The law hasn't changed afaik but "if you look under 18 you have to provide ID" will allow far too many to slip through the net, and the ones who do will be younger. By making the "look" 25, there may be a few 16 and 17 yos slipping through the net, but not many younger.

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 13:28

I think the look 25 policy is ridiculous! One time I was Id'd the bloke said to me "you look over 21 but under 25 so I need to see your ID" Basically he was ID'ing me after admitting that I looked old enough to buy booze in the first place, not his fault he's just doing his job as told by the barmy people that make the rules! I was 28 at the time and gladly produced my ID but I can't help to think that in another few years some poor pensioner will be refused a little bottle of whiskey (or whatever his preference is) because he didnt produce ID that he was over 18 just because he happened to look under 75!

Original poster
hopingalways · 04/07/2009 13:28

wow didn't expect it to get this many responses! ok, admit me boycotting tescos on my own is total drop in the ocean, but it makes me feel better

it wasn't the being initially refused that pissed me off, it was the continuing to be refused after dh had gone! that was just being jobsworth about it...

i see why they started doing challenge 25 (thanks for the link!) but ffs, this policy was not thought out first.

OP posts:
gettingagrip · 04/07/2009 13:29

The problem is that they have taken this too far as usual, and now apply the '25' rule to mean that if you are purchasing alcohol and have a teenager within 50 miles of you then you are not allowed to purchase said alcohol without being subject to interrogation that would put MI5 to shame.

And you leave the supermarket feeling totally humiliated and as though you have just committed the criminal act of the century.

And of course nowadays, if you object at all to being treated like a third class citizen in a shop upon which you are bestowing your valuable custom , you are treated to their other 'rule'...the zero tolerance to loon customers who 'abuse' the staff.

Whatever happened to 'customer is king' (or 'queen', obviously)?

StealthPolarBear · 04/07/2009 13:32

Would love clarification on the situation where you have children with you - I really can't see how there's any sensible way to apply that

gettingagrip · 04/07/2009 13:33

Oh and Kazzi...that has already happened I think!

GrinnyPig · 04/07/2009 13:41

Stealth, I agree some clarification is needed. One poster on the previous thread felt it was OK for the cashier to make a judgement about whether or not the parent was buying the alcohol for the teenager or not, but I'm not happy about the prospect of being judged every time I want to buy some wine. Would be even worse if I was buying for DH as his drink of choice in this weather is cider!

StealthPolarBear · 04/07/2009 13:44

yep, if I go out with DS and buy alcohol I don't expect to be challenged, and I'd hope the same would apply in 10 years time. Surely they should either ban the sale of alcohol to anyone with someone under 18 with them (nooooooo!) or they're expecting cashiers to be psychic. And I'd imagine there's a lot of judgement - "chav" mother buying cheap cider with a 13yo is more likely to be challenged than a middle class mum buying expensive wine, also with a 13yo. That's not right.

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 13:44

I'll openly admit I have been buying alcohol from the age of 15 and have rarely had a problem doing so, its ironic that as a teenager I always looked old for my age (not always an advantage as I had great difficulty getting on a bus at a childs price) yet as a (almost) 30 yr old I now get ID'd. It just shows how times have changed, or maybe I'm just having to make up for all the times I got away with buying alcohol as an underage teenager LOL

I don't see how stores have the right to refuse someone old enough to buy alcohol if they are accompanied by someone underage, as a law student its something I'll check out when I get chance.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/07/2009 13:54

Stores can refuse to sell you anything for any reason kazzi.

CreativeZen · 04/07/2009 13:55

I was served wine in a Tesco Express, but the cashier then snatched the bag with the wine in out of the hand of my then 10 yo. I'd asked him to help me carry the shopping, but the cashier insisted it was illegal for him to carry the wine. Which is bollocks. They make it up as they go along.

I'm just waiting for someone to challenge me over alcohol when I'm doing a big shop, as I would then just leave all my stuff on the conveyor belt and walk out. I am over 18. They have no right to dictate what I can and can't buy or who I can have with me when I do it.

purepurple · 04/07/2009 13:58

it's not illegal to drink alcohol, just buying it
madness!

RustyBear · 04/07/2009 14:06

I am personally known to a lot of the staff at our local Tesco - I live a couple of minutes walk away & have worked at the local school for years - so the odds are that the person serving me would know that I had teenagers - so do they refuse to sell to me in case it's for them? Or only after I've been refused because one of them is with me? And if so, at what point can they start selling it to me again - when are they allowed to forget I have teenagers?

gettingagrip · 04/07/2009 14:09

That's true Laurie, however, treating your precious customer as though they are guilty of some random, henious crime as your default position is no way to go. Particularly as the actual nature of the crime is changed on the whim of whomever makes these rules up whilst picking their nose in their ivory tower.

Life nowadays just gets more and more difficult and unpleasant for ordinary people who are just going about their business, and trying to live their humble lives.

I am forever saying to my kids that it was all so much more simple when I was their age.

And if it's unpleasant and humiliating for me at my age to be challenged on the contents of my trolley, how does it make the teenagers feel?

Teenagers nowadays are treated appallingly badly. If I want to take mine to the supermarket to help with my shopping and buy 500 litres of vodka at the same time, then that is my business.

StealthPolarBear · 04/07/2009 14:16

that's the sort of thing that puzzles me Rusty

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 14:24

There was once a time when shop staff/call centres etc adopted a "the customer is always right" attitude, now they've gone the opposite way and the customer is always wrong! They need to find the right balance for this. My opinion (not checked anything for a fact) is that stores have to reasonably act within the law, therefore they cannot refuse to serve you any product without good grounds. I have the right to take whoever I choose to a shop with me and I have the right to buy any product I wish to do so if I'm legally entitled to buy it, regardless of who is accompanying me.

There is now a legal age for buying nail varnish removers etc (can't remember if its 16 or 18) but I've never had a shop assistant tell me I can't buy it as I have my 4 yr old daughter with me (who occasionally likes to wear mummys nail varnish) and they would be told in no uncertain terms where to shove their products if they ever tried!

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 14:29

this is from direct.gov.co.uk

"It is against the law for anyone under 18 to buy alcohol in a pub, off-licence, supermarket, or other outlet, or for anyone to buy alcohol for someone under 18 to consume in a pub or a public place.

Some towns and cities have local by-laws banning drinking alcohol in public."

No mention of not being allowed to buy it if accompanied by a person under 18......I'd like to point out that challenge 25 is an optional scheme that retailers choose to follow.....its not the law.

Kazzi79 · 04/07/2009 14:35

www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/Kent/documents/AE%20factsheets/Challenge%2025.pdf

This is a challenge 25 document if anyones interested in reading it.......again no mention of shops not serving you if you are accompanied by someone who looks underage so its obviously what we knew all along, shops making up bullshit that isnt actually true!

sherby · 04/07/2009 14:38

They have taken this way way too far, I have to take my ID with me everytime I go to my local Tesco express to buy age restricted items.

Despite the fact that the staff there have already seen my driving licence a million times. Apparently they have to have it everytime in case someone from trading standards was in the queue

And I know its not a huge deal carrying id with me, but it is ridiculous having to show it everytime. They don't even bother looking at it now, I pass it to them they pass it back

bloody stupid imo

Saltire · 04/07/2009 14:49

After the last thread about this I wrote to my MP (still waiting for reply). I asked him to clarify what would happen if a 30 year old woman tried to buy alcohol and was refused becasue she didn't ahve ID - was she breaking the law? IMO no, she isn't. But what would happen if she insited that she wanted the aclohol and the police were called? The customer isn't breaking the law,and as far as I know it isn't yet law to be over 25 to purchase alcohol, and the "over 25" thing isn't a law either. So what would the police do?
I also asked him when it became a national requirment to carry ID. I have neither a passport or driving licence, but it seems that I am going to need to get one, as I was recently refused money from My own bank account, as I didn't have my passport driving licence and utility bill with me!

pingviner · 04/07/2009 15:21

hmm, I got id'd the other year at age 29
which was totally bizzare - i was buying some bottles of champagne, about two hundred pounds worth, with a credit card (not a regular occurence )
and of course had no ID on me

she did back down when I asked was it the usual practice of the local feral youth to spend several hundred of credit on champagne?

I can understand that the individuals serving have their jobs on the line in this, and sympathise with that, but i dont think theses 21 / 25 campaigns help in allowing people to use their common sense.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 04/07/2009 15:38

see, this is another good reason to get your shopping delivered.

scaryteacher · 04/07/2009 16:42

Quick hijack - Saltire - answer to your PE kit question on the Forces Sweethearts board!

I'm back in UK next week and will be going to Sainsbury's to stock up on Ginger wine and port which costs a bomb in Brussels. Will have ds (13) with me for trolley pushing and peanut butter buying purposes. Will see if I'm ID'd with interest as am well over 35 with grey highlights!