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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to boycott tesco over this?

86 replies

hopingalways · 04/07/2009 10:52

I am 24. My dh is 24. the other week our local tesco refused to allow me to by dh a 4 pack of beer because "your husband looks under 25". I had already proved I was over 18, and while DH could pass for 20 if he lied he does not look 17. and I do not look like a cradle snatcher. He was wearing his wedding ring ffs!

I even had the duty manager try to tell me that the law prevents him selling alcohol to someone accompanied by anyone under 25 . This is bollocks, the offence is for the buyer to then give the alcohol to someone under 18, not to sell alcohol to someone who is accompanied by an under 25.

DH left the store in humilation. They still refused to serve me even though I was now accompanied by nobody. A man in his 50s offered to get the beer for me, and this was refused as "we know her husband is under 25 and the beer is for him". They then allowed a women to buy a bottle of wine, accompanied by a 3 yr old (with a very good faked driving license?)

I am writing to tesco HQ to inform them that their challenge 25 policy is being taken to hte nth degree by idiots. This has led to me taking my custom to their competitors, costing them several thousand pounds a year.

AIBU to now refuse to shop in tesco for ruining my dh evening, embarrassing him in public and for generally behaving like morons?

OP posts:

badgermonkey · 04/07/2009 12:00

I think it absolutely stinks and I hate the "you should feel flattered!" bollocks. I am a fairly, though not stupidly, young-looking 29 and to be able to be refused to do something that is ENTIRELY LEGAL and has been for me for 11 years makes me really angry. I don't have a driving licence so I have to bring my passport out if I want to go and buy a bottle of wine - this is ludicrous.

I don't look 18, no cashier has ever, ever thought I was under 18 but even though they know I'm not, they can still refuse to sell me something? I'm sorry, but that's just a bizarre situation. By all means ID people who look under 18 but 25 is too far.

MildredRoper · 04/07/2009 12:06

Something similar happened to me and DH a while back and he was 29!

He was embarrassed at the time(I was pissing myself laughing) but he just laughed it off afterwards.

I'm not sure there's much you can do about it - boycott them if you like.

earlyriser · 04/07/2009 12:13

Yes i just got id'd (?) in tesco and i'm 36 ffs (and look every year of it!) twas flattered but also v glad i had my driving licence with.

earlyriser · 04/07/2009 12:15

Just out of curiosity what beer were you buying? Just wondering if you had a £20 bottle of wine or malt whisky would that have made a difference?

kiddiz · 04/07/2009 12:16

Believe me as much as you hate being asked for id, I hated asking for it. When I used to work selling age restricted items (cigarettes in my case) I have been subjected to verbal abuse and threats of physical attack merely for trying to protect myself from a criminal record and a fine which I wouldn't have been able to pay. And I have to say that, in most cases, in my very long experience the ones who kick up the biggest fuss are quite often not old enough.

kiddiz · 04/07/2009 12:19

earlyriser......My record was a 32 year old mother of 3!!! She was suitably flattered and I was suitably

kiddiz · 04/07/2009 12:23

Basically the law is asking a cashier to use their judgement and then be penalised fairly heftily if they get that judgement wrong. You can't really blame said cashier for being overly cautious even if it is annoying.

FAQinglovely · 04/07/2009 12:25

"don't have a driving licence so I have to bring my passport out if I want to go and buy a bottle of wine - this is ludicrous."

no you don't - I don't have a driving licence either but most shops that sell alcohol now have a leaflet you can pick up to get a basic proof of age ID card thingy. (can't remember what it's called as sadly i haven't been asked for proof of age for years).

expatinscotland · 04/07/2009 12:28

NO ONE will ever mistake me for under 25 (pats wiry grey roots and gets up for smooth on anti-wrinkle creme).

LaurieFairyCake · 04/07/2009 12:37

Ok, there is one thing on this thread I am a bit confused about.

Say I buy wine and I have i.d. with me but I also have dd with me (who is 11) - at one point does the shop not sell me alcohol in case I'm trying to give it to a child?

It seems very arbitrary to say if you have a 14 year old with you, you could give it to them but a 3 year old, not.

I would be furious if I was doing the family shop and someone refused to sell me alcohol because an 11 year old was with me. And then if I told her to wait in the car they still refused to serve it to me even if I had i.d.

To me they are then assuming I would be carrying out a criminal act just because a child was with me.

Scorpette · 04/07/2009 12:39

My DP - who is 27 - had a cashier in Tesco refuse to sell him Ame, which is a sparkling soft drink, because she insisted it was red wine and he looked under 25 to her and didn't have ID (he was without his driving licence as he was waiting for his new one)! He eventually sorted it out with a supervisor, but FFS! Good job it wasn't the really hard stuff, like Appletiser!

thumbwitch · 04/07/2009 12:41

it seems nuts anyway - even if he is under 25, he is still allowed legally to drink alcohol, and to buy alcohol - it's only if he's under 18 that he isn't - so I really DON'T see what Tesco are on about? Fair enough if you look under 25, ask for ID, but the rest of it is ludicrous.

Can't see any point in boycotting them if it makes life harder for you though. Unless you plan on standing outside with placards demanding justice for the 18-24 year olds.

EyeballsandherSunburntNorks · 04/07/2009 12:43

I'm sorry, at the risk of pissing someone off who is bored with this discussion this is the first I've heard of this, and you're telling me that two 24 year olds can't buy alcohol? Madness.

GrinnyPig · 04/07/2009 12:44

I posted on the other recent thread about this. I was asked for ID when buying wine in Sainsbury's. I had 15 year old DD with me. I couldn't understand what use ID would be as I am very clearly over 40 and I told the cashier DD was only 15. The cashier called the supervisor and she served me but TBH I still can't really see the point. It would seem to imply that if you want to buy alcohol you can't be accomapanied by a teenager.

gettingagrip · 04/07/2009 12:45

I have had this several times recently. In different supermarkets.

I have teenagers, and have been refused alcohol purchases within my huge weekly shop because my teenagers are with me!!!

I am over 50!!!!

Said teenagers range from 16 to 19.

It is embarrassing and annoying.

I object to some random person questioning me about my shopping. And it is NOT illegal for my children to have a beer in my own and their home.

Another step along the way to a fascist state IMO.

thumbwitch · 04/07/2009 12:46

Maybe you have to carry their birth certificates with you to prove you are their mother and therefore rather less likely to be buying the alcohol for them than some random stranger they've hijacked off the streets just for that purpose?

gettingagrip · 04/07/2009 12:52

LOL thumbwitch....one of them is fostered...I can never remember to take a bag with me, never mind birth certificates!!!!

Another thing that really gets to me while I am on this topic, is the assistants in Boots who question me when I want to buy paracetamol.

If I want to buy paracetamol it is no-ones business but mine. I very rarely shop in Boots now due to their fascism.

FAQinglovely · 04/07/2009 12:54

thumb - you can laugh - but I can honestly say that at least 2 times a week I am asked by random "yoofs" outside Morrisons and the local shop to buy them fags/alcohol. Actually it's been 3 times this week.

thumbwitch · 04/07/2009 12:57

oh no, I know they do it - our local Threshers actually had to close down because of it (people were being threatened if they refused).
I wasn't laughing at that aspect of it, just the jobsworthiness that would mean you had to prove you were the parent of the sulky teen accompanying you.

FAQinglovely · 04/07/2009 12:58

ahhh now you see none of them have ever followed me into the shop - I have been known to tell the more irritating and persistent of them to f*ck off especially when they ask me before I go in and AGAIN when I come out if I'll go in again for them

thumbwitch · 04/07/2009 13:03

well exactly - I mean, if you're buying alcohol for an underage teen, you're hardly going to advertise the fact by taking said teen with you, now are you!
Ditto said teen - not going to want to draw attention to themselves!

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 04/07/2009 13:05

I sometimes shop with my kids aged 4-8 and buy wine. When will I be refused on that basis then?

thumbwitch · 04/07/2009 13:09

when you open the bottle in the shop and give them a swig, FBG!

cornsilk · 04/07/2009 13:10

So when parents start to abandon their shopping at the checkout will Tesco rethink their policy?

WoTmania · 04/07/2009 13:11

I think YANBU as you had ID on you U18s (but over 5) are allowed to drink in the home so if its part of your weekly groceries why the problem. I haven't been asked for ID in over a year. I'm 28. It's pain in the arse I also passed my driving test before photo licences came in and have only recently aquired one.

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