to want people to congratulate me on finding out DC2's gender instead of...

[angel1976]

asking if I am going to go for a third??? I know people have complained about this before but I am feeling so annoyed. Found out yesterday that DC2 is going to be a boy. Already have the cutest, most adorable DS1 ever (I know, I know, I am his mum afterall! ) and am pleased that we will have two boys so close in age (20 months). Pregnancy first time was a nightmare involving high risk nuchal, two CVS tests, heart scans, growth scans, you named it, we had it. So for us to end up with a very healthy and happy DS, we know we are very lucky! So far, this pregnancy looks healthy and non-problematic so far and as long as the bubba is healthy, I couldn't care less about the gender.

DH and I only ever want two. Yes, would be nice to have a girl but personally for me, it would be nicer to have two of the same gender. DH and I both have siblings of opposite gender and 4/5 years gap so never felt very close to them. In fact, I have female cousins I grow up with that I consider my 'sisters' and god knows how much I wished they were my real sisters growing up!

So it really annoys me when we told the inlaws yesterday after the scan about the news, and said how pleased I was to be having two boys who will (hopefully) be close and play together. MIL's reactions ranged from 'oh, how are you going to cope with two boys?' and when I said it would be nice for DS1 to have a brother to play with, she said 'oh, a girl would play with DS1 too! And they fight over toys too blah blah blah!' It just gets my goat up as inlaws are the sort to believe their way is ALWAYS the right way. MIL is always going on about how lucky she is to have one of each. Argh, I just want to grab her and shake her and say sarcastically to her 'and look how close they are to each other now...' BUT I CAN'T!

Of course, then there's the reactions that go 'you must try for a third for a girl!' Or that pitying 'don't you want a mini-me?' Uh, not exactly, one me is enough, thanks! I do love my boy and would be very lucky to have two of them! Help me come up with the right retorts to these comments! I can see myself facing years of this ahead of me... (and yes, please tell me nice stories of having two boys close in age!)

Rant over...

YANBU

It doesn't matter what you have it still happens.

We had ds and then found out I was expecting DD1. We had always planned to have at least 3 dc's so it would infuriate me when everyone said,' oh great one of each now you can stop at 2'

Well, I have 1DS and 2DDs, and I keep getting asked if I'm going for a brother for DS! FFs I'm nearly 40, childcare costs are very high and I'm happy with what I have. OP, I'd rather my first 2 DCs were of the same gender as there would have been only 23 months between them. But there's 4 years between my DDs which is a big gap.

StealthPolarBear - Wanted to say hi earlier... You remember me? I'm touched. Yes, DS is now 16 months and a right little monkey but he is absolutely gorgeous. It was a bit of a shaky start when he was little (he was the grumpiest and unhappiest baby ever!). But he is now mostly happy and very adventurous and cheeky.

qwertpoiuy - I suppose part of my post is about how we can't really choose the gender of our baby can we? So why people feel the need to comment on something we have no influence over as if it is an achievement if you get this and this combination is beyond me! I did briefly think about swaying for a girl when we first started talking about TTC-ing our second but you know what? I could really see the benefits of having either so thought I will leave it to fate. Glad I did! I think what will be will be!

I have 2 DS (14 months apart) 4 and 5. Having been brought up in a girls' world with a sister and going to an all girls school I hadn't imagined a life with all boys but now I am smitten. Have had similar comments from in laws who have 1 of each ('a bonus') but made up as they now have a granddaughter with their own daughter (the boys' toys in their house have now been replaced with dolls houses etc; that the boys are discouraged playing with). Upside is me and my boys adore each other to the point that we'd always planned 3 but I feel totally fulfilled with 2. (My only worry is that I feel DH could be missing out not having a doting daughter as my boys are with me). If we had anymore now I wouldn't mind DD or DS - but I don't think anymore could make me happier. DH says happy to stop at two (though I'm sure he'd be quite happy if I changed my mind about a third). I'm 38 and happy to plan a great life with Team Boy. (whatever happens the perfect family is your family).

kwissy1 - That's lovely... I think DH would have liked a girl for DC2 (we are both pretty damn sure we don't want anymore!) but he does love DS1 dearly, so he's coming round to the idea of two boys! I should be the one complaining about being surrounded by smelly boys... LOL. I got another reaction from a mum of a child in DS's nursery. She kinda put her hand on my shoulder with a bit of a upset face on hearing the news and I said to her 'Oh no, this is good news! I would love two boys!' Think I am getting better at this...

I'm finding out the gender of my first on Tuesday - DP is DYING for a little girl, but think he'll actually be over the moon when its born, whatever it is

YANBU, people react in the strangest ways. I was told at one point that most advice or comments I would recive during the pregnancy and after the birth is more about the person giving it than about you, and I think its a very fair statment.

Congratulations on having another little man on the way