DH in question here -
First, DW insulting me and name-calling over this really hasn't helped, as I'm just thinking about that and pissed off with how unnecessary it's been, and less about the actual issue at hand. It doesn't exactly feel like she's thinking like a sensible grown-up over the issue, and has been swayed by beautiful kittens with big eyes and soft fur mewling gently at her.
I'm not opposed to having a cat or cats. In fact I've already got one, that's been living at my parents house for a few years now, that I'd love to come and live with us now we're a bit more settled. The problem is that she likes sleeping on top of people and that's not great when we've got a small baby.
I'd thought that our general agreement had been that we'd get a cat flap sorted out - not simple, seeing as it would have to go through a wall, as we have a glass sliding rear door at the back, and when the little one was a bit bigger, my cat would come and live with us. I'd thought we were all cool with this, and it was the plan.
Then, suddenly, it gets sprung on me that there is a cat with four kittens and please can they come and move into our shed. Straight away.
Oh, and I never do anything around the house and am a lazy arsehole, despite working full time and having to be out of the house by quarter to eight in the morning and not getting home until seven in the evening, and all my failings are being pointed out, with added obscenities, because I've said 'whoa, hang on, let's think this through a bit and try to make a sensible decision'.
I want a cat. Maybe two.
I want a dog, but maybe not whilst we're living in the house we're in, and maybe not until one of both of our kids decide they'd like one, if ever. I'm hardly demanding it on a regular basis. I'll say I miss having one around, or miss my old dog that died a good few years ago, but I'm not especially hankering afer one, and even if a sad eyed puppy turned up on the doorstep, I'd still have to think about the right thing to do, and find a home that was actively looking for a puppy to home it in, rather than taking it in.
And yeah, DW does get very stressed out with the kids at times. She asks me if I can pull sickies or come home early, when she knows I've got a fairly stressful work situation, that's possibly at risk. I have to say 'No' then too, and also feel shit about it. Because I have to save the sick days and pisstaking with work attendance for the times when it's really, really necessary.
So - what I've said, really, about this situation is not 'no, never', but 'whoa, hold on, can't you see this isn't really the best idea right now?' and to try and think about it all.
And that makes me a twat and an arse and all the rest of it...