to be seething over recntly discovered DP's porn use of joint computer?

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Earlier this evening I was helping DS with homework on computer and opened a new tab. Discovered that last night DP had been viewing porn sites whilst I was out. I am furious/upset/insulted/puzzled. Let DP know that I know, before having to go out for an hour. Came back to find he hadnt moved off sofa (Wimbledon), no discussion, apology, Nothing.

Mighty pissed off..

He is now out. I have texted "Why?" No response.

WTF do I do now?

wot dittany said.

did she spell mysogicanystally right
i don't think i have either

I'm with Dittany on this one.

I don't think that you're uptight if you don't like it. I object to being told that I've been conned into my own opinion though. And I've no desire to be Jordan or to shave off all my pubic hair. I believe that DP finds me an intelligent equal (actually I think he thinks I'm more intelligent than he is, I just think we're different )

Don't misunderstand me, I am not advocating wanking over women being treated 'horribly and misogynisticly', I'm trying to say that I believe my DP is just looking at sex/sexual images (including personal photos) for stimulation, in the absence of me, without thinking about the bigger picture. Which is selfish, yes. I'm just trying clumsily to say that it isn't, in our case, coming from a place that enjoys, or looks for, degradation.

My dh has bought me things that he can wear and strut around in but I'm not into that kind of thing, it makes me giggle. The point is we're both adults and as long as we're open with each other and give a little we get more back for our effort. If I really hated getting dressed up for dh I would not do it, but I gave it a try for his sake and it's worked for us.

Not all porn is bad, not all people involved in porn get hurt. There is a section of it that is bad, yes, but there are many other things in life that are worse. How many woman are sitting at their computers wearing rings that contain diamonds, how many of those diamonds have come from safe fair places?

I don't look like Jordan, I don't look like a fantasy woman in any way. Porn doesn't make me feel like I'm inadaquate. If dh wants to look at it, as long he does it behind a closed door, it's not all the time and my dd never sees it then it's not effecting me. It's his choice and I'm not going to tell him what he can and can't do when it has no bearing on my life.

Dittany: lots of men dress up for sex in order to excite or entertain their female partners. Lots of people like recreational sex, sexual dispaly etc.

So now it is wrong or degrading to dress up in sexy underwear for your husband ??

Since when ??

If you both enjoy it, or get something out of it, even indirectly (turned-on husband = lovely intimate sex), where on earth is the harm.

Some of you anti-porn ladies push it too far and make consensual sex between committed partners sound kinda wrong too !!

You are losing your perspective on this thread.

AnyFucker, your right, this thread has gone off on a tangent a bit.

thanks confuzzeled

sometimes I wonder where people get these horribly-skewed perspectives from