to be fed up with the number of threads about my ExP, my exDH, ExW ex ex ex -

[thedolly]

doesn't anyone stay together anymore?

You can't contribute? Shame.

YABU but to answer your point... Life changes very fast nowadays and life changes people. Who you are when you get married isn't necessarily who you are five, ten or twenty years down the line. It's entirely possible for one or both of you to change into a person the other can no longer live with.

I'm reasonably happily married, but I would never be so arrogant as to say this could never happen to me. It could. You never know what your partner might do one day. Or what you might do that he can't live with.

Regarding moving on - this is a parenting board. If you have children with your former partner, you can't just cut off contact - there's going to be a lot of negotiation involved over custody, access, finance etc. and there's no right or wrong way to go about it. Is it any wonder people negotiating their way through this difficult time turn to Mumsnet for help and advice?

stop backtracking, 'can't contribute' pmsl,

we'd rather you didn't anyway.

Dang, got me so miffed, spot the numerous grammatical mistakes in my post :p

I I wouldn't dare to contribute cornsilk - not now anyway.

It just seems such hard work being divorced/separated - is it that much harder to stay together ?

I think the OP is perhaps a little insensitive. Just on one level, people need to arrange things with exes with regards to childcare, and sometimes this communication proves difficult.

What I do find odd, though (courage in both hands) is that people are often so bothered about what their "bastard ex" is getting up to. He's your bastard ex for a reason, surely. Let him get on with it.

Oh yes, it would have beenmuch easier to stay together...............thats if I wanted to be treated like a mug for the rest of my life.

UQD, I riiiilllly wish BX in my life would get on with his life and leave me alone!

TD, I feel exonerated, clearly the fact that ex used to beat the crap out of me on a regular basis passes as a good reason for leaving him... I'm so honoured!

Are you also very rabidly religious???

If in RL one of your friends was going through a break up wouldn't you empathise with them?

I knew I would be up for some abuse on this thread but it's coming so thick and fast I can't keep up.

I don't object to people seeking advice it's just that so much of it seems pointless and petty.

I am not in a position to offer advice on relationships, so guess what I do.......
I don't go on the threads, it is easy

it might seem that way to you,but as you clearly have no experience of the break down of a relationship, and no imagination, you obviously don't understand how complicated it can get and when children and nwe partners are involved, it is even worse

what seems petty and pointless to you is clearly of great importance to teh person going through it

pointless and petty to you maybe

christ - i read some of those threads and want to weep for what some posters are going through

MN is a sanctuary for a lot of people - and a place to get great advice

you are coming across as supremely lacking in empathy

you are truly in a minoirty if you don't know anyone going through a divorce/separation

x post with lulu

i did like your passive aggressive use of

it's just that so much of it seems pointless and petty.

That statement alone just proves your lack of empathy, really not attractive, you could be in our position this time tomorrow, or do you think you are invinsible?

fuzzywuzzy - I already said I wasn't talking about abusive relationships

Nope - not rabidly religious.

Of course I would be sympathetic if one of my friends was going through a break up.

And TD I said I felt honoured that you find my marriage breakdown worthy of posting about....

pointless and petty.

look love, get your head out of your backside, and do something constructive with yourself.
if you are a parent, then you are a selfish selfish person. Most of the 'ex' threads are about the kids, the problems the kids are having. The problems the parents are having with the exes, and mostly, people are suffering.

this has to be one of the most tactless, selfish op's I have ever read.

Fuck off back to your smug little house in Smugsville

People are suffering for sure - they are torturing themselves.

By the responses on this thread there is a lot of unresolved anger out there. You are all right of course it could be me one day - at least I know where to come to for advice.

i do love a bit of passive aggressive smileyness...

thedolly, if you knew you were going to get a pasting, why did you post? what did you hope to achieve? notoriety? or a chance to go 'waaaaaaaaah, you is all beatches and so meeeeeeeeeean'

How the hell are we torturing ourselves?

you Just Don't Get It, do you?

of course people torture themselves when theur marriage or long term relationship , with the father/mother of their children breaks down

they might be left penniless, homeless, with nowhere to go

there might be a new partner , who mgith have been on the scene long before the marriage fell apart

people do torture themselves in thinking 'if on;y...' or 'should i have lost weight/ done XYZ/ been more forgiving/supportive..etc

if you can;t see why people would have issues post relationship breakdown, you need to actually read the threads you are criticising