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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my doctor has overstepped the mark by sending me this letter?

286 replies

evilplaguerat · 27/06/2009 11:15

I am a regular but I'm afraid I have namechanged because there WILL be hostility on this thread

Basically my ds2 hasn't had all his preschool immunisations, because when we received his initial appointment we deferred it because we really weren't sure we wanted him to have the MMR booster (I KNOW what many people think of this attitude, I really do)

I've just had a letter from our GP which starts

"Dear Mum and Dad

It is with some alarm that I've heard from our practice nurse that XXX has not attended multiple appointments for his preschool immunisations"

whatever you think about children not being immunised - does my GP have the right to order me to immunise him? Or am I right in feeling that it's legally our decision and the letter is inappropriate?

To be clear - I'm not asking for views on parents deciding not to immunise (although I realise I am going to get them anyway), I'm asking about the legal position of the parents and the GP and whether he can in fact strong-arm us into having them if we don't want to.

OP posts:
treedelivery · 27/06/2009 22:12

OP - Would the practice know you are declining the programme, or were they chasing you as a serial 'did not attend'?

chegirl · 27/06/2009 22:33

I got a better one

DS1 is 15. Last year I got a letter from GP about his MMR. I am hardwired to attended ALL medical appointments. I just cant help myself. DS has had all of his vaccinations, totally up to date with all of them. I though there was some sort of special booster. I was a bit but took him anyway.

The nurse said that they had no record on their system of him having his MMR. I told them he had them in a different borough and not at the GP as the clinics did them then.

She asked if I had bought his red book . I said no, he is 15 (anyway its a blue book so ner). She asked if I could find it and I said I look for it next time I was in the loft.

I then asked what would happen if I couldnt find it.

She told me that they wanted him to have the MMR. I said he has had it, she said but its not on our system and the computer flashes, I said he has had it, she said the computer flashes .....

I said do you expect my son to have a vaccination to stop your computer flashing? (or something like that, I may have just gone )

Now that IS mad .

treedelivery · 27/06/2009 22:37

chegirl - it is truly bonkers. It's also faintly amusing. Maybe alarms will go off when ds walks into the surgery?

NotAnotherNewNappy · 27/06/2009 22:44

YAB totally U - he is a doctor, he genuinely thinks that the MMR vaccination will save lives - possibly even the life of your child, therefore he is very alarmed that your child has not been vaccinated. He sounds like a decent bloke to me...

You are taking a stand on MMR that is against the view of the NHS and the majority of the medical proffession so you can hardly be be surprised when they do not support your view.

Although the "dear mum and dad" is unforgivable.

pooka · 27/06/2009 22:54

Your post of 14:17:55 suggests that you have missed appointments or failed to cancel them/let the surgery know you were thinking about it. Not that they were forgotten, but that you just didn't show.

I think YABU, pretty much as a result of that. But then I have been thoroughly trained by relatives who are doctors/nurses to be guilt ridden at the prospect of wasting valuable NHS time.

WRT the tone of the letter. Well, it's a bit twee TBH but not much that would make me think that the GP is strong arming, forcing or making you get the injections. It is his/her job to inform you of relevant medical guidance. He is not to know whether you just cannot be bothered to turn up or whether you are mulling the issue over. Standard letter. Really not much to be annoyed about IMO.

slackrunner · 27/06/2009 23:02

I think YABU.

It's no different to being reminded to go for a smear test is it? It's entirely your choice as to whether you go for the smear test or not - however it is your GP's responsibility to remind me that I need it doing and to make me aware of the risks of it not being down.

It's up to you - no-one is forcing you to immunise.

memoo · 27/06/2009 23:04

chegirl www.agoodhost.com/flashkit/computer_says_no.jpg

expatinscotland · 27/06/2009 23:05

chegirl, PLEASE get him another MMR! even if he had it as a baby and then pre-school.

he needs a top up.

anyone who works in a university will know have seen scores of young adults who got mumps or measles as they never had a booster MMR when they were younger teens/pre-teens.

it's well-known the effectiveness needs to be topped up with one more booster as a teen/young adult.

in fact, other countries have this booster in their immunisation schedules.

chegirl · 27/06/2009 23:11

He HAD the top up expat. He has had everything -honest.

If the baby and preschool and booster didnt protect him I am not sure of the point of another one TBH.

And I AM very pro-vaccination.

mrsmerryweather · 27/06/2009 23:13

Does your practice have a kind of patients' charter? Mine does.

You have to agree to reasonable behaviour! - and they agree to do their bit.

As I said before, you are not entitled to be registered at any surgery and any dr is within their rights to take you or your family on.

A dr would be within their legal rights to ask you to register eslewhere, if you were not keeping your part of the "deal" - ie givng notice of missed appts, behaving in a civil and non- violent manner..etc etc. This could in effect include not having your children vaccinated if it was surgery policy to chase up parents...

I doubt if many drs would go that far, but it can happen.

I expect that drs get so pissed off with patients ignoring letters inviting them for preventative measures- be that vaccinations or smear tests- that they begin to use "alarmist" language in order to make them sit up and take notice..many patients will have very thick skins!

I think the Mum and Dad bit is fine; yes, it assumes a 2-parent family, but i think it's their idea of being friendly and a bit informal.

chegirl · 27/06/2009 23:14

LOL at alarms flashing as DS walks into surgery.

Yes memoo that was going through my head at the time .

Expat just to be clear. They were not inviting him in for a scheduled booster. They were inviting him in for a missed injection that he never missed in the first place.

I know he had the booster because it came at the same time as my DD having luekemia and I was worried about him having it whilst she was immunosuppressed..

expatinscotland · 27/06/2009 23:16

che, the effectiveness of the childhood MMRs wears off. it really does. same as why 13-18 year olds also get another Td/IPV jag.

cazzybabs · 27/06/2009 23:17

haven't read all of the 180ish posts but think dr is doing his job as educationalist and your choice as parents to ignore letter.

Personally I am with the doctor about herd immunity

KatyH · 27/06/2009 23:18

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

People seem to be getting caught up in the whole MMR thing but it's not that relevant really. I think doctors should act as 'agents' for the patient, that is, they should provide the information and they may advise but they should stop short of judging.

Could you imagine getting a letter from your GP expressing alarm that you hadn't had your smear test? I'd find that a little coercive, almost like parental disapproval! And before anyone says that refusing a smear test does not place the rest of the community at risk, unlike MMR, you are absolutely right. However, we need to remember that the MMR is a population level intervention and the evidence of it's effectiveness and safety is presented across populations. Within those populations there will always be people for whom the intervention is more risky and letters like the one the OP outlines are not helpful.

I'm a strong supporter of MMR, but struggled for a long-time with the decision of whether or not to vaccinate dd1 as she has a severe egg allergy (MMR is cultured within eggs). If I'd received that letter it would only have made me feel worse.

expatinscotland · 27/06/2009 23:19

'They were inviting him in for a missed injection that he never missed in the first place.'

I understand this. But getting him an MMR in young-adulthood is no bad thing.

In the US and some European countries, it's on hte immunisation schedule after multiple outbreaks among young adults.

hf128219 · 27/06/2009 23:28

GP was going his job. Care of his/her patients.

I had exactly the same letter today from our GP. However dd has been going down the singles route.

chegirl · 27/06/2009 23:29

But he HAD a booster when he was 12 expat.

expatinscotland · 27/06/2009 23:31

k, i misread the post. sorry.

but LOL that they wanted his red book.

i don't even have DD1's anymore and she's 6, not that the loser excuse for an HV we had in Edinburgh ever wrote in it, the worthless cow.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 27/06/2009 23:39

In the US, one can't start school without vaccinations (although may be an exemption for people who don't believe in them?) Anyway, my mom is a doctor and forgot to get my vaccinations done before I started school.

I was sent home and she was soooo embarrassed. Think she rang up the school and said something like, ' a cobblers children are never shod...' and laughed. Got the vaccinations that night and had to go to school the next day despite feeling odd.

expatinscotland · 27/06/2009 23:41

I had to have a booster MMR to matriculate into state university.

The year before, there'd been a huge measles outbreak on campus.

That was back when they started to twig that you needed another booster as a teen.

Yeah, I'm really that old.

lagaanisace · 27/06/2009 23:58

I understand the point of actually sending the letter - maybe you'd fallen through the net and didn't realise,etc. The wording, though is apalling. I would not be impressed. It's not the best way to get someone onside, anyway, is it?

nooka · 28/06/2009 00:31

The only reasons that you can use to avoid getting vaccinated in the Us are medical ones (ie egg allergies and other contraindications). When we moved over we had to take our Red Books (which the doctor was amazed by) and get blood tests for the children to prove they had had chicken pox (poor things - much worse than any jab). Vaccination is pretty much the only US health service (it's free).

sleepymommy · 28/06/2009 01:02

I don't understand that Noonka? No one can force you to be vaccinated, surely?

Angifi · 28/06/2009 01:13

I agree Evilplaguerat, I would be annoyed if my gp sent me that letter. There is no need for him to use an emotional word like "alarm", if he is simply "reminding" you, there's no cause for emotionally laden wording.It isn't professional,nor is it necessary.

Legally,it is your choice.

nooka · 28/06/2009 02:57

In the US you can't send your child to a publicly funded school (I don't know about the private ones) without proof of vaccination. So yes, they effectively force parents to vaccinate their children. You can get an exemption letter from your pediatrician, but it's medical grounds only.

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