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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be totally upset for being kicked out of pub cuz son was crying?

87 replies

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 14:11

Ahh maybe Im being totally over sensitive, but having a few problems with my son i.e he wont stop fucking crying the whole time. Anyway, mum takes me for lunch (where we thought was child friendly) to cheer me up. 1, no baby changing, so had to do it on my lap
2, wouldnt heat his dinner, so had to have it cold
3, wouldnt heat his milk, so the forula didnt mix properly so couldn't give it to him. Against company policy to heat baby stuff.

Soooo, after about half hour, my son (7 months) had had his cold lunch and was crying for a bottle. We were half waythrough ours and had already paid so we decided to eat up. Then manager comes over, says there has been a complaint about son crying. Well yeah you stupid fuck, your 'policy' says he cant have his milk heated. So we had to leave!
Im so upset, Im stressed anyway cuz of hearing his whinging all day without wasting money on a very rare lunch and being asked to leave by some pretentious shit in a pink shirt.
Excuse my language.

OP posts:

wb · 26/06/2009 14:28

Frasermum, in what way was the OP unprepared? She took food and nappies for her lo, all she wanted was some changing facilities and some help with heating food. I have never been anywhere that didn't at least help with the latter (bowls of hot water usually) and very rarerly have I been anywhere that didn't at least have a changing mat. Then they asked her to leave cause her baby cried, I think that is wrong - it was a pub at lunchtime (where other families were eating) not the Savoy Grill at 10pm at night.

Nancy66 · 26/06/2009 14:29

if you were asked to leave because your baby was crying then you must complain.

abraid · 26/06/2009 14:30

I must admit that I hate it when people change nappies at pub tables. It's not very hygienic.

Original poster

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 14:30

Cerened, it was a bit of both, he said we have had a complaint so Im going to have to ask you to leave while I kind of said its fine we are going. I didn't want to burst into tears in the place so call it self preservation. So I guess we got both kicked out and decided to leave at the same time.

OP posts:

PeppermintPatty · 26/06/2009 14:33

You sound very stressed

It's crap that the manager asked you to leave. I don't think that's fair at all.

I alway find eating out with little ones slightly stressful and not the enjoyable experience you imagine it will be.

You need to get a flask so you can take your own hot water next time.

BitOfFun · 26/06/2009 14:34

I sympathise... to the catsbum mouth people!

Please tell me you changed him on your lap in the loo though and not at the table...

qwertpoiuy · 26/06/2009 14:34

Considering I change nappies with the baby lying on my lap, what's the difference between changing baby at my own kitchen table and at a pub table, provided I get up and wash my hands afterwards? And OP said there were no changing facilities.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 26/06/2009 14:34

YANBU but you shouldn't expect anywhere to provide anything to heat baby food or milk. Because of compensation culture lots of chains are vry strict about this in case the baby gets food poisoning or scalds itself. For the record my DS only gets his food warmed to room temp unless it's freshly made - and have mixed formula with cold water and he's fine. You can be too precious with babies - they should get used to room temp asap I think to prevent situations like that arising! However asking you t leave cos he was crying - not on at all and I'd complain. Pub or not, during the day many pubs operate as restaurants and claim to be child friendly.

qwertpoiuy · 26/06/2009 14:34

That Q was directed at Abraid

abraid · 26/06/2009 14:35

Oh well.

Original poster

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 14:36

I made a bed thing on the floor of the toilets using the spare change of clothes I had in my changing bag and did it on that. Neither comfotable nor practical but wasn't going to change it in the pub, and felt I had no other option.

OP posts:

abraid · 26/06/2009 14:38

qwertpoiuy, you shouldn't have dirty nappies where people are eating. End of.

BitOfFun · 26/06/2009 14:39

It's not nice seeing pooey bums when you are out trying to eat, regardless of the hygiene of it, qwert. And it can smell rather unappetising too...

Cerened · 26/06/2009 14:41

Qwerty, the differernce is that it's your kitchen table, not a public one.

nappyaddict · 26/06/2009 14:41

monkeyfacegrace I don't know what advice you've given but most healthcare professionals say preemies should be weaned between 6 and 7 months. My friend started BLW with her DS at 29 weeks (23 weeks adjusted). If you wanted to try giving your lo some finger food there is no reason why you shouldn't.

Original poster

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 14:45

I tried a rusk and he chocked! Scared me enough to put that on hold for now...

OP posts:

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 26/06/2009 14:48

im confused, in your OP you said you changed him on your lap, then you say you changed him in the toilet.

Anyway - You sound really really stressed. You say he wont stop "fucking" crying!! That is a really really stressed mummy who says things like that. Is that just because you are stressed today or because you are stressed about this alot. Is he crying alot? Are you getting any support? It was lovely of your mum to take you too lunch but it can often turn into a bit of a disaster. Outrageous that you were asked to leave. Maybe it would be nice if your mum could take DS out for a walk to give you a bit of a break if he is a cryer? Could you speak to your health visitor.

nappyaddict · 26/06/2009 14:51

Sorry I got the adjusted age wrong of my friends baby. He was born at 33+5 so at 29 weeks that made his adjusted age 22+5 (I think - maths is not my strong point )

womma · 26/06/2009 14:53

That's a shitty way to treat customers, I'm so sorry that happened to you and I would complain if you have the energy.

My DD had colic and would cry for ages when v small, it was awful so I know how frazzled you must be feeling. If she cried when we were out, it felt so much worse and I'd get really flustered.

You're definitely NBU ,I think the complete twat who complained was though.

Original poster

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 14:54

Sorry, I needed to change his babygrow the first time, so changed his clothes on my lap whereas I usually use a changing room, the second time was a dirty nappy on the floor in the toilet.
Im stressed this week cuz of a hundred things, this was just tip of the iceberg!

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 26/06/2009 15:01

he was probably gagging not choking this might help you put your mind at ease that it's totally normal and they instinctively know how to sort it out all by themselves. Gagging actually prevents choking because it is a response to food going
too far back in the mouth for what nature considers safe. The baby spontaneously pushes the item forward and out of the mouth so they don't choke on it. The spot on the tongue where the gag reflex is triggered is further forward in babies than adults which is why the gag much more easily than we do. Anyway just thought I'd put your mind at ease that finger foods are safe for you lo

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 26/06/2009 15:04

Just put it down to experience and look forward to wine o clock this evening. I have had some disasterous lunches with DD, but mostly its all good.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 26/06/2009 15:05

nappyaddict Total thread hijack - you always give such brilliant advice. I know you have a lot on your plate just now. But i think at some point you should consider a career as a childcare professional/midwife etc. Really (I'm LEM btw).

Original poster

monkeyfacegrace · 26/06/2009 15:07

Thanks guys, think I just needed to let off steam. Nappyaddict, you are spot on, and the fear lies with me, silly but I totally freak out cuz of seeing him covered in wires/tubes to me he will always be delicate! Thanks for the info x

OP posts:

helpYOUiWILL · 26/06/2009 15:13

alot of places wont heat home made baby food - a complete pain iknow!! in those cases i take a (shock) jar as they will heat that. Or what i now do is heat my babys food to boiling point just before we leave home and then depending what the shape of the bowl it is in, i will put it in a small sandwhich cooler bag or my bottle cooler bag. It then cools down over time and is fine for lunch.

In view of formula i do the same with the water and just had the formula when needed.

oh when i say "my babys" my sons are 6 and 2 years and have survived without getting poorly by doing this - am glad i dont have to faff anymore though!!

sorry it was such a crap lunch - makes you feel so out of control doesnt it when they are miserable

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