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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

..in admitting I'm sick of the PTA ?

115 replies

runningonthespot · 23/06/2009 10:04

Yes every school needs them and I certainly do my bit to help out with a bit of time, a bit of home baking for fairs, and a bit of money etc BUT does anyone else have the experience that some of them - and I really don't mean all of them - are in it for the wrong reasons. Like getting favours for their kids or brownie points for being martyrs? Just a thought...

OP posts:

BonsoirAnna · 23/06/2009 11:14

There were 50 parents helpers (not including me) at our end of year show (for a school of 900 children) so perhaps we didn't do too badly.

The show was on a school day, lessons were cancelled but there was a garderie for children so parents could leave their children playing at school while they were helping out and if they didn't have a nanny or au pair or grandparent to do childcare.

The logistics of childcare were what prevented me from being a helper - DD (4.7) was too small to spend the day in childcare after her show - she was EXHAUSTED and needed TLC and sleep at home.

andiem · 23/06/2009 11:15

I have some spare freddos in the cupboard do you think they would entice people to come to meetings?

ingles2 · 23/06/2009 11:15

I bet there aren't that many beefy powertrip types really... just parents who are trying to get things done with very little help!

ingles2 · 23/06/2009 11:17

I'd come for a freddo andie

Hassled · 23/06/2009 11:17

The problem is, runningonthespot, that you join the PTA, you get to know and like the rest of the PTA, you chat to them in the playground etc and before you know where you are you have become a clique. And all we actually are is a group of friends with the PTA in common. I am very conscious of how it must look to the rest of the parents.

Re your OP, though - yes, the advantage of being in a PTA is that you get to know the school and the staff better than you would otherwise, but my DCs have never received "favours" as a result of that. School staff are way too professional these days - something should be done .

ComeOVeneer · 23/06/2009 11:18

Anna your school is clearly very different to the ones we are taalking about!

There is no way we could raise funds for esternal chairties etc, we need the money for the school (and tbh if it was going elsewhere I doubt people would give it in the first place).

WIthout the funds raised our children would still have a condemned trim trail in the playground. We are now raising funds to cover half the cost of replacing the windows at the school because the frames are shot and after months of badgering the lea etc they won't cover the full cost (despite the window in the headteachers office falling in onto her desk!)

Merrylegs · 23/06/2009 11:21

I feel your pain ingles.

Have you tried allocating each class a stall (say class one does netball, class two does sponge the teacher - you could have two stalls per class if necessary) and putting up a rota outside each class of, say, 20 minute slots to be filled. That way you can brightly say to parents 'have you put your name down for your 20 minute time slot yet?'

Us 'martyrs' on the PTA have found that broken into bite sized chunks people are more likely to help.

Also we have the stalls for an hour and a half and then stop them. That way everyone gets to enjoy the bands and bbq.

(Of course, it is always the same old people who end up running the bbq and bar. Well, us martyrs hate relinquishing tasks. After all, every burger barbequed is another favour earned for our darling kids.

ComeOVeneer · 23/06/2009 11:24

Its a real catch 22 situation. The pta looks like a clique because it is the same small group of people doing ever event so no new people want to approach and join. Because no new people want to join, it is left up to the same people to do everything so once again it appears to be a clique. It is a vicious circle. This year we did a real hard drive at the new parents to the school. Organised picnics and meet ups over the summer holiday to get them together and the children get to know each other before they started and lured them towards the pta. We invited them to join in pta events before the year finished, so by sept we had several on board keen to help. When others saw that newbies were getting involved so did they. Now we have a fab group of really enthusiastic helpers.

We had our AGM last night and this year we have raised over £20k (not bad for a small village school with less than 200 pupils.

ingles2 · 23/06/2009 11:25

It's difficult this year merrylegs as there aren't many people involved to oversee every class and the teachers aren't involved in our PTA bizarrely. but I'm implementing Class reps in September so hopefully I won't have this problem next year.

MorocconOil · 23/06/2009 11:30

LOL at PTA members DC getting favours. Poor DS2 was stuck at the top of the climbing wall sobbing at our last fair. I was unaware of this as I was busy running around organising the event. My DC are beginning to hate these events. My motive for being in the PTA is to help the school be a friendlier community for adults and children, not to score brownie points.

forehead · 23/06/2009 11:43

It really pees me off when people complain about PTA'S. Of course there are a few 'martyrs, idiots and annoying individuals
But you must remember that if it was not for the efforts of such individuals our children would not receive benefits such as subsidised school trips ,computer equipment etc. I help with the pta when they have events such as the Summer Fayre. I dont really get involved in the politics, i just do what i'm asked to do. I agree with the other posts who said that it is always the people who do sweet FA that are the first to complain about the school facilities.

dmo · 23/06/2009 12:32

i'm in the PTA at high school and we most deff dont do it for the brownie points i guess most of the teachers wouldnt know who my children were anyway!!!!!!!!!!!

this month alone i am giving up 4 evenings as there are lots going on (new parents evening, plays, music shows) there are 2000 children at our school and 9 parents on the PTA, last year we purchased hockey nets, dolls that cry, after school science club stuff and football kits. my boys are not involved in any of the above but i do it for the other children.

ShellingPeas · 23/06/2009 12:40

Hasn't there been a thread about PTA PITAs recently? I feel compelled to shove my oar in this time...

I've been on our PTA for 6 years - at times I hate it, it's a real pain in the arse and I would much rather just put up £100 a year and then be done with it, rather donate hours and hours of my time only to have someone whinge about playground cliques and power crazed PTA types.

We get nothing from it, no favours, no kick backs, nothing. For a small village school of less than 120 pupils we have possibly 5 or 6 people on the PTA who can be bothered to help. The rest of the time we are pulling our hair out because no one can be arsed to do anything, and then complain bitterly that we don't have the latest ICT equipment or playground equipment.

None of the other women (and it's almost always women) on the PTA are power hungry Stalin inspired megalomaniacs who want to rule the world.

So yes, YABU.

AtheneNoctua · 23/06/2009 13:03

Hi COV! Your DS didn't get into DD's school? That stinks! Do you have to run two PTAs now?

There certainly aren't any perks that I'm aware of for serving on the PTA at our school. But I suppose as with any organisation you might be more "in the know" for what is going on. For example, we have "Music Makers" offered in Year 1. Spaces are limited. I heard about it because I was at a PTA meeting, and I got DDs name on the list ASAP. She got a place. This probably would not have happened if I hadn't been at the PTA meeting. But, no intentionally hands out special favours.

I do get wound up when parents' and who don't work half as hard as I do tell me I as the class rep am not pulling my weight. We have a celeb parent in our class. And he has never done squat at an event. Not one. And that really annoys me. If you want to be part of our community school, great. But, if you are too good for that, then why are you here?

andirobo · 23/06/2009 13:18

I am involved with my DD school PTA - not on the committee, but turn up to meetings, volunteer my time for discos, movie nights, and the dreaded summer fair (done that on Saturday) and I certainly dont do it to get brownie points or for my DD to get favours. I do it as I feel that I should contribute something (other than money) to the school, and I get enjoyment from doing it - seeing the kids faces enjoying a disco that we have put on for them, is enough reward. I also get to know the kids and their parents (as in a passing 'hello') and even get to know their teachers a bit as well - not just an anonymous face in the crowd.

We too have the regular set of people that help out, but have managed to get a few new ones this year, who couldnt believe the amount of work that went into planning events - well yes they dont just magically appear - someone has to put some thought into it.

I can say that I helped the PTA fund laptops, a new garden for the kids to use, coaches to allow the whole school to go to the Panto, cooking facilities to allow them to do baking, and now we are partially funding new playground / outdoor area for the nursery and KS1 to use. Without these events, these things would not happen as the parents would not want to pay extra for the trips, etc.

Kimi · 23/06/2009 13:27

You have hit the nail on the head, some of them are bloody minded about it to the point of madness.

hifi · 23/06/2009 13:41

it gets my dd free crisp at the summer fair so there are some perks.

Ripeberry · 23/06/2009 14:30

We have learnt our lesson. We now have a pre-school prospectus and there are loads of references to being involved and being on the committee.
Also our AGM will be held in the local pub this year with a (small bar tab) once people have been elected.
If you don't sign up you don't get a drink .
But seriously, we need people and last year was horrific! No-one turned up for the AGM or the EGM!

Gorionine · 23/06/2009 14:45

"members of the PTA aren't elected, only the chair, deputy and treasurer at the AGM." this is true, all the parents are effectively members of the PTA but to have a real say you do need to take part in the meetings! The people that usually are refered to as "the commitee" are just the ones who turn up meeting after meeting but ALL parents are invited to the meetings (not formally, there is a timetable of the meetings ont the PTA website of which every parent is supposed to have the adress for having recieved a letter from the PTA at the beginning of every school year.)

BonsoirAnna · 23/06/2009 16:31

CoV - our school needs money as much as any school does - it's very decrepit (and standards of maintenance for public buildings are very much lower in France than in the UK - schools are pretty shockingly dilapidated here). But the parents object to raising money for the school - it is just not in the mindset here.

AtheneNoctua · 23/06/2009 16:48

Anna, does your DD not go to a bilingual private school?

Our school also very much needs the money we raise. Although, we do support some aid that goes elsewhere through the affiliated church. But, generally speaking, people givem money because it's for the school.

BonsoirAnna · 23/06/2009 17:02

Yes, indeed. But French private schools are not English private schools - the French teachers and infrastructure are paid for by the state. It's as private as this communist education system allows!

purpleduck · 23/06/2009 17:14

20grand and [admiration]!!!
How!?

I chair our poor overworked, underappreciated PTA. My kids don't get favours.

However, about the martyr comment - we were MADE, not born

I think most committee type things have powerhungry people - IME they are the ones that get stuff done. Its good to have at least one or 2 of these types around....

purpleduck · 23/06/2009 17:15