ok...will try this again, aibu to be put off a school by the amount of children with SN?

[daftpunk]

posted this in education, (Pre-school, like the twit that i am).....my ds is due to start secondary school in 2 years so we're looking around already, i am a bit put off by a school with lots of SN children, as SN also means behaviour problems....i'm not sure if i am being unreasonable.

[flamingobingo]

What does NT stand for, please?

[hereidrawtheline]

neurologically typical flamingobino

[BCNS]

can I also say.. on the behavioural/emotional side there can be other causes like head injuries that cause long term problems.

we are waiting for the jury to come out on this one for ds2. After he was attacked in school by a "normal" pupil. it caused quite significant injuies.. and his behaviour changed pretty much since that day. hense we are now looking an the inside damage that may have been done to ds by this "normal" thug.

[flamingobingo]

thank you hereidrawtheline

[hereidrawtheline]

thanks slightlycrumpled

treedelivery - you are right, we as parents of SN (in my case not confirmed yet) children do have to put up with this on a daily basis.

My DS is extremely light sensitive. We were at a boot sale once and the sun came out behind a cloud right in his eyes and he started crying and covering his face. We happened to be right in front of someone's stall at this time. He was really crying loudly and I picked him up and was trying to cover his eyes while I put some sunglasses on him. It was awful and more stressful than it probably sounds. When he is hurt in one of these strange ways it is pretty extreme, he really suffers. And the people behind the stall were really loudly and blatantly tutting and rolling their eyes and not so quietly whispering to each other about him being molly coddled. Meanwhile he feels like a laser is being directed at him That is one of many many small incidents that are commonplace for us. He is a darling and the love of my life and I do a lot of defending for him.

[FreewheelinFranklin]

In answer to your op, if you think it's a problem, you need to be asking the school how they bridge the gap between special needs and being able to access the curriculum and learning, and what measures they have in place to manage difficult behaviour, from both SN and non SN children...the SAME questions I have had to ask when looking for a school for my son who is on the autistic spectrum.

hth

[Squidward]

Have only read OP.
There are two ways of looking at it, that the school wil have soem very good teachers who can deal with it, good organisation, good resources, deals with inclusion well etc

Or
school weofuly underfunded, lessons badly planned - inclusion not well managed, teaches to the lowest ability etc, but I dont see how that can be soley the "fault" of SN kids

you need to choose the right school for your kid, that is what all education choices bboil down to.
So look at it that way

[stillstanding]

I am completely ignorant on this subject - DS is only two and we haven't begun to think of schools yet. And I'm no fan of dp but I must admit that when I saw the thread title I thought that, while it was certainly not politically correct or sensitive in any way, there was something in it that was not wholly unreasonable ...

I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't be concerned that a high proportion of children with SNs would mean that my child's needs might not be met.

Obviously it all depends on balance and the way in which a school deals with those issues and from what I've read on this thread
it seems that my initial reaction is based on ignorance - there seem to be some excellent mechanisms for ensuring no disruption etc and I had no idea that a SN child has a TA assigned to them - but it something that I would look at closely.

Ultimately my priority is my child and I would need to ensure that his needs came first. Hopefully with more balance and compassion than dp though ...

[treedelivery]

BCNS.

Dear God. You have my sympathy for you ds2.

[pingping]

I have to agree with Rhubarb

DP you really do put some Daft things on mumsnet (pun Intended)

You know you are being very unreasonable spiteful and cruel.... There really was no reason for you to post this thread especially in AIBU if you have concerns about sending your child to a school of SN children (angry) then there is a better way of approching things. In fact what you should of done is find out more about SN children etc then you may of realised they are children not Aliens.....

I would of been shocked at a post like this but then I saw who the OP was you never cease to amaze me DP

[daftpunk]

thank you PP, you know reading some of the replies, i had no idea just how much i was hated on here..

[hereidrawtheline]

stillstanding think about it this way.

If your child goes to a school and suffers because of an NT child you have very little hope of getting it amended. And that is far more likely to happen than your child's education suffering from proximity to SN children! Simply because there are more NT children in general and really, think back, most of the people who bullied US at school were NT werent they.

If your child's education suffers from there being "too many" SN kids around and you can actually prove that then you would have a much easier way of getting it fixed i.e. school increasing their means of coping with SN children.

At any rate it begs the question... if there is a standard which is "too many" SN children then what is the limit? I mean... how can anyone say that 5 SN kids are ok but 6 is one too many - surely it is a purely arbitrary line to be drawn with no basis in anything but prejudice. If the school is set up to deal with the special needs of SN children then there really isnt a problem is it. They are doing that in tandem with educating NT children.

by the way stillstanding I wasnt saying that to get at you in any way but to put your mind at rest.

[pingping]

Not Hated DP but some of your post really do rub people up the wrong way

[treedelivery]

My priority is my child too.

At school she will be one of many other prorities however, and will learn she is not the only priority in the world at all.

So valuable.

[Squidward]

well you have generallly always been unpleasant to me but I like to think that people can reply to the post not the poster.

[idranktheteaatwork]

My dsd has no SN as in she has no statement or diagnosis.
She does however have behavioural problems as pointed out by her GP, school and social worker.
She also happens to be kind, empathetic, eager to please and extremely talented at arts and dancing.

Her behavioural problems do not affect or disrupt her class, you need to consider that there is a massive spectrum of "behavioural problems" and they do not generally come under the label of SN or indeed SEN.

Her school are crap at helping her to raise her self esteem and she has been left to her own devices for much of the time simply because the teacher is spending far more time dealing with NT children who are badly behaved and disruptive.

DD's school on the other hand has a very high number of children with SN and also behavioural problems. They come from outside the catchment area because the school is acknowledged to be so good.
The school is a new build and has complete accessibility for those with pysical disabilities. There are quiet rooms for children who need a "safe" space and there are lots of smaller areas within the playgrounds as well for children who have difficulties with social skills to learn to interact with others without the need for agression for example.

Dd can do basic sign language, she can also read the alphabet in Braille.
All children are included in all activities where ever possible including residential weekends away etc.

The school has a fantastic sporting and academic reputation. I feel that it's ethos of inclusion and empathy for others has enhanced this school into one which i would recommend to anyone.
I am confused as to why you (op) feel that inclusion is a problem.

In my experience, inclusion is an asset, it is the school itself that can be the problem. For example, if my dd's school didn't have such good facilities and dedicated teaching and support staff then yes, classes might suffer from disruption. But i don't think that would be because the children are a problem, it would be because the lack of decent support systems were a problem.

We are moving my dsd to the school in Sept and i have every confidence that she will thrive.

[daftpunk]

SW...i've never heard of you?

[Squidward]

am a name changer.

[lou031205]

daftpunk it isn't about 'hating you'. But can't you see that to some people your OP is like a knife in the heart?

DD will start school next September. I am already so anxious about it. She does have 'challenging behaviour' - she runs away from her teachers, laughing. She screams when she gets frustrated. She doesn't cope with structured activity. The jury is still out as to whether she will attend mainstream school.

But believe me, the struggle as a parent is much worse knowing that there will be people who would avoid a school with children like DD.

I am actually in tears as I type, because I hate the thought that there would be people who wouldn't choose a school because my precious, funny, lively, engaging little girl attends. She has problems which stop her being like all the other children, but that doesn't mean that she is something to avoid.

[hereidrawtheline]

daftpunk you dole out a lot of hatred. That has something to do with people not giving you the benefit of the doubt. No one has decided you are not in an "in" crowd but you say some extremely tactless and rude things, seemingly for fun. It isnt going to endear you is it.

[Lizzylou]

I think the problem here is twofold, DP doesn't really understand what constitutes SN/SEN (I am not entirely sure, to be fair) and then there's her past posts and unique style which is clouding the issue.

Hopefully, DP you can see from other MNers that you shouldn't be concerned about a high level of SN/SEN children at the school. Perhaps a word with the school/other Mothers whose DC go there would allay your fears, I think you are only posting out of ignorance rather than malice.

And Devilwears, my son is only in reception and out of 25 children there are 3 children who have diagnosed SN/SEN. The only child who does get gossiped about (I have heard it)is actually the boy who is top of the class and who has no SN/SEN. So please don't worry.

[seeker]

It's impossible to "hate" anyone on here - we don't know each other properly. We can only judge on what's posted.

And this thread has such a tactless and badly thought out title. You may have legitimate concerns about this school - I don't know. But there is no way you are going to get any support or useful input into your school choice dilemma if you seemingly deliberately word your posts in the most hurtful way possible.

[2shoes]

dp knows a lot about sn, don't let her fool you, she posts on all the threads that are anti and outside the sn topic, so she must have a lot of knowledge

[OrmIrian]

That's up to you of course. DS#1 is at a school with a high level of SN and so far is doing very well. I prefer a school that does it's best for all it's pupils.

I haven't read the thread and am sure it's kicked off but there's my opinion fwiw.