to want people to stop all this ******* of names

[MrKrabs]

so a thread goes

foxinsocks yes it was Yesterday

spawnchours we ate the lot

dittany yes porn is NOT harmless

anna do you live in Paris by any chance

it makes the threads very bossy

thanks LL, now that's scary

On the "outing" note.

I am in a constant turmoil over whether or not I should totally give up MN because I cant post honestly and the way I want to without outing myself. I know a lot of the mums around me are MNers and know who I am, and I write a blog under the Independent with my real name on it.

This has been a really big thinking point for me the last few days because of some horrible things said to me on my blog. I worry about the trail of breadcrumbs I have left via MN to my RL.

I asked MNHQ to delete all my posts and they said, totally understandably, that it would be a mammoth job as I have been here years and posted a lot under several names.

So they asked me if I would sort of find the posts I was worried about and report them. Which I thought about but its almost impossible. Because I just dont know. I just know I am easily identifiable. It really worries me. I'm not afraid on MNers (too much ) but I am afraid of people who might find me via MN because of what I write elsewhere.

I really dont know what to do. I just thought I would chime in and give the perspective of someone who does not want to be outed. But at the same time, I cant help it, I love it here. I get some great advice, entertainment, and inspiration. I would be sad to leave it for good because of a fear of my family's well being. But I might. I dont know. I'm actually asking MN now: WHAT SHOULD I DO? deregister and never show my username again or keep going as I do?

Can't you just change your name?

Without knowing who you are, how is it that you can't post what you want to? Are you a bank robber as well?!

I'm not really sure what your problem is to be honest? Are you worried that the people who have posted horrible things on your blog will also find you here? Sorry - as I don't read your blog it's difficult to know quite why this is such an issue for you. It's a public forum, it's not as if they're a braying mob outside your house.

Just be careful what you post that's about you personally.

hereidraw - you could start by hiding your profile, that might help - however then I wouldn't have seen the fab pics of your pets and child, so maybe not.

Namechanging is frowned on on MN though and can result in a custardial sentence

becauseimworthit that was a tad bit jumpy sounding! I am hardly making a huge issue out of it but it is a concern of mine and I thought it would be ok to voice it and get some opinions on a thread about the pros and cons of anonymity here!

My blog is mainly very lovely and fine but I have written a piece about the BNP and had heaps of abuse from their supporters including I need to "take junior and go home" and have a "dose of taliban inspired discipline" so it raised the question to me of what needs to go. Writing the blog wont go as I am trying to have a career in journalism, so that leaves MN. And I can change my name but the point I was making is that I am always waffling on about the same old crap. Like DS's issues and my animals etc. So as has happened before, and will inevitably happen again, unless I talk about stuff I dont actually care about here then I would still be traceable back to my blog if that makes sense, because I am fairly transparent. I just dont know if it is worth it to namechange because not sure how much good it would actually do. I am a bit confused about it to be honest but then I am really not firing on all cylinders right now DS is on (night time) sleep strike.

thumbwitch you are dead right about the profile I put it up pre-blog/pre-bnp thrashing/pre-forum worry and havent given it a thought til you just mentioned it! Still would be a shame to deprive you all of gazing at my gorgeous boy but I might do so anyway!

I namechanged a while ago for a brief amount of time for the blog reason then realised I had given myself away by saying the same stupid stuff so I got the impression a couple of people who recognised me thought I was namechanging for some more devious reason i.e. trollery or whatever so I thought oh fuck it.

See I am really confused!

I don't think your problem is MN, it's the fact that your blog has your real name on it - "they" don't need to go to the effort of looking round on here to find out anything about you, you're giving them the info for free!

Can you not adopt a "pen-name" if you want the freedom to have a blog where you mention controversial things?

I know what you are saying, I have thought about the pen name thing. I just dont like the idea of it. I know I am not a genius or anything but I am proud of what I write and what I stand by, and I am working my bloody arse off to get credibility for it too. So I guess I want my name attached to it in that sense. god that makes me sound egotistical, I am not really its just I have always dreamt of writing for a living. It is part of me. I dont want to lose that part of my identity.

I dont know. I am making this a problem I'm sure I dont have to. I know its my fault, my choice what I write etc and what forums I frequent so there is no point whining about it. I just feel a bit like I should be doing something different and not sure what that is. Thanks for talking it through with me anyway.

I think you would be judged far more harshly if it was you who cut and pasted a lump of postings from here and passed it off as an "article" as some lazy journo has done!

disclaimer: I'm not suggesting for a minute it WAS you

it wasnt! I wont/dont do that I promise. I am too prideful I want to claim all the (non-existent) glory!

Do you have a maiden name you could use for your work instead? Or some other name which is "you" but not identifiable with the physical you? I can understand that you don't want it to be anonymous, you want it to be "yours", but if it's obvious what part of the country you're in plus your real name, then you do potentially make yourself a target.

Wasn't meant to be jumpy - just wasn't really sure what your problem was!

yes you are right AMumInScotland. I do have an alternative name I can use. My middle name is a family surname if that makes sense so I could switch to that.

So I am really considering this here. If I were to switch my blog writing name to my alternate name then I wonder what I would have to do to cover my tracks. Because of course Mr. BNP already knows my real name doesnt he.... I think its unlikely he would do anything tbh it just made me aware I was sticking my head above the parapet. And I wonder if I would have to do one more namechange here, and then how to handle that. And FB... sigh. I sometimes hate modern life. But if it werent for the internet I wouldnt have DH and several great friends so I cant complain. But its a tangled web to undo.

BecauseImWorthIt did I explain it better the second time? It isnt a major problem just something to be considered if you write things publicly that are beyond the "I fancy my gardener" columns and occassionally delve into human rights issues etc.

Can I just say I am really taking the piss out of myself now about the irony of using a public forum to debate the use of whether or not to use a public forum! fucking hell I think I need a nap!

It depends how worried you are - if it's just a minor "what if" kind of worry, I think just switching your blog to the new name is enough. Plus of course anything like FB which you do under a "real" name rather than a talk nickname. I wouldn't bother trying to do more than that.

But if you think you might get enough negative "interest" that would have people putting a bit of effort into tracing you, then you might be better to statr with a clean slate - deleting the blog and accounts in old name and starting completely new ones. But probably a bit OTT unless you think there's any major cause to worry.

Most people won't put any real amount of effort into hassling you!

yes you are right. I am really not important in any way, I mean someone would have to be shooting for really small fish to bother with me. It just made me question it all I guess. Because I do intend to write about what I am passionate about and that is in some cases going to piss some people off. But I dont think I could forgive myself if I didnt, if that makes sense. Thanks very much for talking to me about it I will continue to mull it over with the ideas here. I dont know if you have seen my blog or not but here it is me waffling some more

I wouldn't worry about the Bee En Pee (see what I did there?)- they are mostly mouth and no trousers as their shit list is so long. They threatened my family a few years ago after my ex's trade union activities, and slashed another bloke on his doorstep in front of his kids so we had to take it seriously. We were just careful answering the door etc for a few weeks. The best way to deal it them is to band together against them with other people and don't let them grow. Your writing helps that, and if you are reasonably sensible it's unlikely you'll be top of their targets.

Bold is passe, italics are the new bold

I thought names in bold were only the thing on ante-natal threads where there was a limited number of posters. I would feel very left out if I contributed to a thread and wasn't included in the boldness.

So, agree with op.

BOF see I'm not sure I qualify as being reasonably sensible.

No really I get what you are saying.

I'm happy to see my name in bold as long as it is not followed with a string of insults! That's the bottom line for me! I am really a very simple person.

Snort at coco.

'Custardo is the new Cod'

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha

That is hilarious on so many levels.

Oh, and what 100x said.