To think toddler group shouldn't be handing out such anti nursery literature?

[Ebb]

I have recently started going to a toddler group, run in a church, which is, in general, lovely but today we were all handing print outs of 'Raising Babies' by Steve Biddulph entitled 'Should under 3's go to nursery?'

It basically suggests that babies under 1 shouldn't go to nursery at all. "Organize for your baby to be with a parent or Grandparent all the time except for occassional breaks - days off or evenings out - when you have a trusted and familiar babysitter."

When your child is one "up to one short day per week eg. 9-3 with a trusted and familiar carer. Ideally 1:1 but in a 1:3 ratio at most."

Further quotes include "Some children are not ready (for nursery) until three or more and group care can be upsetting and harmful for these children." and "*Remember - nurseries have become big business. Many nurseries never engage emotionally with their children."

I am lucky in the fact I take my Dc to work with me but a lot of parents don't have a choice and nurseries are the feasible option. Surely a toddler group shouldn't be putting more pressure and guilt on parents by handing out such cr@p?!

(X post with Niecie, there).

I am with you with this one, too, Niecie. It is developmentally and age appropriate when young babies cry in the night (or any other time) for comfort and out of distress at being alone. Leaving them to cry - even controlled crying and even pat-and-shush or Pick Up Put Down - seems to me to be at odds with all other parenting which aims to enhance and support and accept development, and it clearly causes the baby upset.

I know parents need their sleep and it's horrible to function, let alone work, with very little sleep. There are ways of coping better with these downsides which don't belong in this thread.

I sometimes 'visit' the sleep boards on mumsnet and I feel very sad for the sometimes very young babies who are expected to wake and sleep according to an adult, 21st century, Western expectation at just a few weeks old - and even sadder when the parents think there is something wrong with the baby or something wrong with them (parents).