To have shoplifted from Morrisons today....

[Tryharder]

I walked to Morrisons this morning with DS2 in his pushchair. Only intended to buy a couple of things but as you do, kept piling things into the basket so I had loads to carry. At the end, picked up some jellies that were on special offer but had no room for them in my basket so balanced them on top of the pushchair and went to pay.

As I literally was walking out of the store, I looked down and saw these jellies still wedged in the pushchair in the folds of the hood (iyswim) - had totally forgotten to pay for them.

Anyway, I should have gone straight back in again and either paid for the jellies or handed them in at the customer services desk.

But, I thought oh feck it, Morrisons get enough of my hard-earned cash as it is and they can afford it and just continued out the store...

I am being unreasonable, aren't I?

Firstly - I believe that it is wrong to teach children that a little bit of shoplifting is ok - it only becomes a crime if you nick something expensive.

How many of you who have posted on this thread that you wouldn't bother going back/don't think the OP was morally wrong/think those of us who would go back and pay are sanctimonious etc would be happy if one of your dcs was stopped for shoplifting??

This actually happened to me, despite the fact that we have always told the children and shown by example that it is wrong to shoplift. Ds1 decided to imitate a friend and nicked a packet of sweets (clearly allowable as far as some on this thread are concerned) and was stopped by the shopkeeper. He was reported to the school, as he was in uniform, and the school could have suspended him, but didn't because he had shown such horror and remorse that the shopkeeper had forgiven him.

If this happened to one of your dcs, how would you justify getting cross? Especially if they asked you why you did it and thought it was ok. At least we were able to say with utter honesty to ds1 that he knew what he was doing was wrong, and that we had taught him better than that.

And all this shrinkage is paid for in the prices paid by all of us - so I am paying for the stuff that other people steal - not just the expensive stuff but the little stuff too - and I have every right to resent that!!

I am one of the people who would take something back if I had picked it up and forgotten to pay for it. I would not be happy if I didn't. And I have done it myself and with the dses - ds2 once picked up a little toy in a toyshop and slipped it under the buggy, unbeknownst to us - when we found it we took it back and he had to hand it to the shop assistant. After a week long hotel stay, I realised I hadn't been charged for the massage I'd had, so I went back and told the receptionist. We were returning to the hotel for a single night a week or so later (this was all around a house move) so we agreed that she'd add it to the bill then. Forward to the next visit, when I found she'd only added half the cost of the massage because I had been honest.

With the exception of stealing to feed your family who would otherwise starve, I do think this is a black and white issue. I think that if you have to justify your own small sin by enumerating others' larger sins (ie the amount of profit a supermarket makes or the bigger thefts that others get away with) then deep down you know that what you did was morally questionable.

......or buy the odd pirate DVD, or as someone else said about taking a carparking ticket with a bit of time left on it, or have opened a packet of crisps/whatever in the supermarket for their kids and then take the empty packet to the till.

No, I don't download music illegally, nor would I let the boys do so.

And I do understand how it can happen by accident - shopping with children and trying to keep an eye on everything/remember everything, is like trying to plait fog. But if you make a mistake, you should rectify it. Surely that is a good lesson to teach your children?

If you open a packet of crisps for your dc on the way round the shop, then take it to the till, you are paying for it - no harm, no foul.

I don't download and I don't buy pirate dvds.

And I think it's nonsense to suggest that this isn't theft because there are more worse crimes. And I don't say it's theft to be dramatic. Once she made that decision not to return the goods I'd find it difficult to consider it anything else.

Definitely theft as you were still near enough to return it. In this case it won't make the slightest bit of dif to Morrisons, but it would if everyone did it & would just end up putting prices up - don't do it again - MrsEB slaps Tryharder's wrist!

I start 'em young. Once got home from a shopping trip (round the whole smallish town) to find my toddler daughter had an entire armful of little elasticated spangly bracelets under her cardigan. Nice work, kiddo.

Being the sanctimonious type, we did the whole tour again the following week, asking in each likely-looking shop 'Do you now or have you ever sold sparkly bracelets at tempting buggy-height?' Rather to my surprise, we found the right (tiny) shop, and the lovely shopkeeper graciously accepted them back and handed my daughter one to keep 'for being such a good girl'.

Can't help feeling that was rather a mixed message!

The shop could still view that as stealing though Sunny. Doubt anyone in their right mind would say anything if they are paid for eventually, but it is technically still stealing as the product has been consumed before being paid for (or at least where I worked it was, we even had a policy on it would you believe!!!)

Not with reference to any of the anecdotes on here, but have to say I have recently been and disappointed at a few things that people I consider to be morally upstanding types have done in RL (e.g. fraudently using residents' parking permits in a very congested residential street when no longer live there, returning things to shops once used etc) and therefore wonder what on earth people who are less morally upstanding think is acceptable.

Katiestar said:

"Wonder how manmy people on here crying 'theft' make illegal downloads."

And SouthMum said:

"......or buy the odd pirate DVD, or as someone else said about taking a carparking ticket with a bit of time left on it, or have opened a packet of crisps/whatever in the supermarket for their kids and then take the empty packet to the till"

I have never made an illegal download - nor would I. I have never bought a pirate DVD - nor would I. On the other hand, there is nothing illegal about the latter two.

Why try to insist that just because many of us think this is a case of theft that there must be examples elsewhere in our lives of us having done something illegal?!

And SouthMum, where you worked may have had a policy on it, but if goods are consumed in full view, then there it is deemed as no intention to steal - I used to work in a supermarket as well!

Because if they can prove that we are being hypocrites, BecauseI'mWorthIt, then they don't have to take any notice of our views. On the other hand, if we are living our lives as we say we are, that might point up a moral deficit in their behaviour.

BIWI - I also think its theft but I think some of the posts on here have been a bit OTT hence why I jumped on the "how many of you have done this..." bandwagon. Yes she nicked them, but its hardly worthy of a Crimewatch reconstruction.

To get home & realise you haven't paid for something is one thing but to actually spot it before you leave the shop but think 'Ah feck it' & walk out the shop with it anyway is another.

Regardless of what the item was, the value of the item or how much you have spent in said shop over the years.

I would have either taken it back as soon as I spotted it or popped it on the side or handed it to someone before I left the shop.

I hope that you bring your child up with better morals than you yourself have pbviously been.

If you realise you have stolen something inadvertantly you should return it to the shop - if you get honme and find you have you should be honest and ring the shop and say you will pay for it next time you are there.

I hate the drip drip dripping away of honesty and decency that this country is going through!

BIWI - Yes the goods are consumed in full view, but how many empty packets do you see stuffed out of sight on the shelves?

BTW Hope you don't think I was being sarcastic with the "we had a policy would you believe" comment - I was genuinley surprised that a shop would have a policy on that sort of thing.

SSG - for me its not about taking no notice of views, its just about putting it into perspective. I would bet my house that every single one of us on here has done something illegal in our lives.

I have no issue in saying I have done dodgy stuff, doesn't make me a bad person though.

I wouldn't like to teach my children to think that taking something from a shop and not paying for it - even by accident - was ever acceptable.

They might however pick up a a few swear words when I realised I'd walked out with said jellies by accident! And if I couldn't return it straight away I'd return it next visit, simple.

SouthMum

"BIWI - Yes the goods are consumed in full view, but how many empty packets do you see stuffed out of sight on the shelves?"

Yes, I know. That always shocked me when I worked in a supermarket and I'm always amazed when I see it now.

Didn't think you were being sarcastic either!

BIWI - I saw an open packet of Always Ultra the other day (??) - thats what made me post about people opening stuff in supermarkets. Always Ultra FFS!!

In all seriousness after thinking about it I guess it shouldn't matter if it was a bag of sweets or a SatNav. OP intentionally walked out without paying for something, however if it was me I probably would have done the same thing and wouldn't feel guilty about it. But wouldn't do it again either.

I just think that people bringing in how kids are brought up, morals etc is just a bit extreme. We're all guilty of "do as I say not as I do" with our kids. And to question morals in people who aren't up in arms about a bag of 50p sweets being snaffled is a bit dramatic IMO

When ds was about a year, I was in Mothercare with my friend, we walked out and lo and behold ds was holding on to a skirt (I mean really could have not grabbed trousers or shorts ), I was horrified and ran back in sticking the skirt on the nearest rail I could find.

"I hope that you bring your child up with better morals than you yourself have pbviously been."

"I feel so lucky that I had my mum and not you to show me right from wrong and feel good about the world. Enjoy skulking around feeling like a thief."

Dear God, the hand wringing that's going on over a bag of jellies....... Yes it was wrong, no I don't think people who would have paid are sanctimonious. The few people way over reacting on this thread are imo being a little bit reactionary however.

I once picked a grape from a bunch in a supermarket and ate it to see if how tasty they were before I bought them. I didn't buy any in the end.

Should I be losing sleep over this? Should I be questioning the way my mum brought me up or the way in which I'm going to be bringing up my kids?

Please don't tell me it's a matter of degree as the case I described above is theft, pure and simple, black and white.

As for me nicking some envelopes from work the other week; I'm booking myself in for a few hours of being pelted with rotten vegatables on the stocks next week and am wearing a hair shirt.

But SouthMum, children learn far more by example than by what we tell them. If I had walked off with the odd small item from a shop and not gone back and paid for it, how could I have taken the moral high ground when ds1 got caught shoplifting? Especially if he had been able to ask me why it was ok for me to do it and not for him.

I do believe it's relevant here that OP's son is in a pushchair. It's unlikely he would have learned much from seeing his mum go back into the seething scrum shop.