and over sensitive, or is DH being too harsh?

[Peachy]

OK I have no idea if I am BU so want feedback; if I am fair enough. I know I have big Confrontation Issues anyway, so that suggests DH NBU.

better provide some background too- DH upset with school ATM as last month ds2 was injured by a problem at school, basically gym floor became sticky in the heat and tore skin off his foot, causing him to spend 6 hours in A&E bleeding and be off school on crutches. When I mentioned to Secretary the cause she new about it but said they had asked kids to keep moving... being weak I just smiled and accepted this.

DH was the one stuck in A&E so wasn't happy with the reply.

Anway, ds1 does violin lessons. At the start of term his violin went from school, tkaen by a child. We couldn't afford to replace it and TBH ds1 wasn't too bothered so he told school he asn't going to have lessons any more. She teaches small groupsso didn't affect teacher time or anything like that, and the cost is set not divided by X kids.
Teacher is employed by LEA.

yesterday to our surprise we got a bill for a final demand for apyment from the Head. I sent DH in to discuss, asking him to try and sort it out as I hadnt budgeted, we're on a very tight income ATM (DH paret time due t work cuts) and paying an unscheduled bill would mean cancelling ds3's birthday party which we booked last week.

I expected DH to end up negotiating payments for a few weeks (total bill is only £30).

Anyway, he informed the Secretary that if we ahd to pay he wuld consider reporting the theft of the violin to the police, Secretary immediately dropped the bill.

DH is that the money was sorted, I am as I have a very good relationship and help with the school.

I should add that several other things have been taken from ds1's bag over the year, including a collection (he has ASD) that he treasured and was returned after a term; ds1 cried about that going for weeks which was very upsetting.

Am I being a wuss as DH genuinely beleives, or was he OTT?

YANBU not to want to rock the boat with the school. I know how that feels: you're so grateful that they're being so great about the big things (like not permanently excluding a violent autistic pupil and doing their best for him) that the other things just seem kind of little in comparison. I totally understand that, so even if YABU to think that dh is going OTT, the motivation is totally reasonable IMO!

I understand how you feel... I too dwell on things later. However, in our house I'm the assertive one and often let my emotions get in the way of getting my point across. I then reflect later on how i could have handled it all better...

Having thought about this carefully (and without being emotional) I would ask the head for a meeting, explain you are concerned about your DS's injury and that you would like to know what action is being taken to fix the floor so that it doesn't happen to another child. If the head tries to fob you off or is vague I'd casually ask what the Health and Safety Executive recommended when s/he reported it to them.

I don't know about schools, but I do know that in my job any accident that results in the person injured having to attend hospital has to be reported to the health and safety executive.

Good luck

Haven't read all replies but I don't think your DH is unreasonable.
And the floor!!! Sounds like some bad horror movie where if you stand still for too long you lose some chunk of your foot. That is NOT on. Please do follow that up a bit more.

The floor- very old school, think it was related to the varnish in very hot weather- its sort of wood with layer after layer on it. They did scout for acything like chewing gum and didn't find anything.

Am in today reading so will chat to staff.

No chance in suing- school is financed partly by my community (Church school in a village) and they spend a fortune of ds1 and ds2's extra needs.... following up yes but this isn't somewhere i'd consider financial compensation on principle.

in all honesty i would have probably done what your husband done it doesn't affect relationship with school for you but it helps to have someone who is more assertive and fighting for whats right

i've always been a people pleaser but in all honesty learnt the hard way and have toughened up now it was stolen so i would fight against paying a bill i cannot afford i would have complained if my child was injured surely thats bad for health and safety on there part

i can understand why you would feel the way you do but in all honesty i wouldnt allow people to get away with things just because there good with my child it wont affect childs treatment or treatment towards you he did what he felt was right and in long run it was

The floor incident sounds shocking (poor DS!) and I would have reported it. Good on your DH for refusing to pay the bill, too, as you shouldn't have been charged in the first place.

On the other hand, I do understand why you're wary of rocking the boat when you have a situation where your boys are happy. DS1 has Asperger's (and a statement) and I would have gone a long way not to upset the staff at his primary school as I didn't want to do anything to jeopardise his placement there.

Definitely send your DC to school with their plimsolls for PE until this is sorted, though

Your DH was right. The school should not have been using the gym in those conditions and thier response was awful. Also they should have looked into the violin theft.