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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hate ear piercings on toddlers

98 replies

SunisShinin · 17/06/2009 18:47

Every time i see them it makes my blood boil. Its a visual message that says -'I didn't love you enough just the way you were so I've caused you physical pain and risked future infection and / or injury to stick this lump of metal in your ear and now you meet my aesthetic standards' - aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. How could they do it to them.

OP posts:
MummyDragon · 19/06/2009 18:57

pinkstarfish That's me told then!!!! No, I have never seen this debate on an internet forum before. MN is the only internet debate-y thing I look at, and my useage of it is pretty spasmodic.

MummyDragon · 19/06/2009 19:00

And even if something has been debated before, where's the harm in debating it again? Debating is fun! Why do people get slammed on MN for raising issues that other people have seen before? - why not just ignore a post if you think it's boring? (pinkstarfish I am assuming that you will ignore my post for this very reason)

tisa · 19/06/2009 19:07

Earrings on little babies and young children look horrid. It's only one step away from having a tattoo on your child.
Maybe that could be the next awful trend: mums who have their own name tattoed on their child.

ray81 · 19/06/2009 19:58

My dd is 7 and she begged and begged for ages to have her ears done, so about 6 months ago we did. However they did get infected even though they were looked after very well and cleaned ALL the time. The doc said that she is allergic and shouldnt wear them now. So i do realy regret letting her have them done as she now has holes in her ears that she cannot get rid off ever.
I have never agreed that babys or toddlers having them done i hated seeing DD in pain at 7 let alone when she was a baby, i just think that putting a baby through pain for cosmetic reasons is just wrong.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2009 20:10

maybe she is allergic to the nickel that is in most cheap ear rings

try buying a gold pair

im allergic to nickel,my ears go pussey, i have to cover my jeans button with clear nail polsih or i come out in a rash by my belly button,as well as cover the back of my watch face

ray81 · 19/06/2009 20:14

Thanks blondes, we have tried the gold and silver and she still has a reaction so she just cant wear them. I realy just wish id never agreed to it although we never could have forseen it happening.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/06/2009 20:18

plastic backs?

erm

hoops so only a thin bit in ear

ray81 · 19/06/2009 20:22

Blondes thanks will try the plastic backs rather not try the hoops just yet as she is 7 and running around all the time playing, just think they are dangerous and could get ripped out, cringe just thinking about it. The holes havent healed so as she gets older (in her teens) she can try different things to see if they work.

Thanks so much for the suggestions.

monkeyfacegrace · 19/06/2009 20:43

Ive never seen this topic either, but the thought/look of a bay/toddler with metal through their ears makes me sick. My son spent enough time in intensive care with needles/pain, why would I give either of my children more?
It hurts, even if it doesn't get infected, there is a choking/pulling danger, and jewellery is to look 'pretty', which babies shouldn't. Put your baby in nice clothes and be pleased that its healthy, please!
(BTW, understood its culture in some places, but not here so I can only give my view on the chavs that have it done around here)
I cannot see any benefits at all.

forehead · 19/06/2009 21:04

Both of my dd's had their ears pierced when they were 3 weeks old. I really can't see what the big deal is. My next door neighbour is of Nigerian origin and says that it is quite normal to pierce ears in her culture and that she thinks it is strange not to pierce a female childs ears.

monkeyfacegrace · 19/06/2009 21:07

But, forhead, did they cry? (If even for a minute), did they want it done, whats the purpose of it?
The point about your neighbour is a little odd, as in some romania they still have orphanages that tie disabled kids up with no toys but it doesn't mean its right? Cultures do different things, but its still painful and not beneficial, so why?

forehead · 19/06/2009 21:16

Mfg, one cannot compare piercing a childs ears to being tied up in a Romanian orphanage. Let's keep this in perspective.

monkeyfacegrace · 19/06/2009 21:23

No I didnt mean compare that way, I meant why do we choose to follow some 'cultures' and not others? It still doesnt make it right is the point. Of course they aren't in the same league, but why use the culture argument for something that suits then ignore the others?

oliviasmama · 19/06/2009 21:56

I really dislike earrings on babies / toddlers / children but that's only my opinion, everyone's different, in fact I'd go as far as to say I hate seeing it but that's just me..... and I'm sure that when my DD threw herself on Sainsburys floor today, screaming blue murder because I wouldn't let her have the bag of maltesers she'd picked up people disliked and possibly even hated tantrumming 2 year olds too!

Keep it in perspective ladies.

mrsjupiter · 20/06/2009 03:05

My sister and I, and in fact every woman in my family of my generation and above had their ears pierced at around three days old. It was, as many have said, a cultural thing and where my family is from it was done in the hospital by a doctor or nurse.

I was born in the UK 40-ish years ago and as you can imagine when my mum asked the nurse to pierce my ears she was given a mouthful. There was, however, a Jamaican lady in the bed next to my mum who was a nurse and who said that in her culture they also pierce a girl's ears when she is a baby. She offered to do it and so my ears were pierced.

The rationale was that at three days old the baby cannot feel pain in the ear lobes. My daughter spent three months in the NICU so I know they feel pain everywhere else!

My mum gave me my old baby earrings - tiny tiny pearl studs - and asked me if I was going to pierce my daughter's ears. I decided against it even though, as long as it is tiny studs, I find it neither rough-looking or barbaric - I just found I really loved her nakedness and simplicity if you see what I mean, and that included her ears.

I told my mum I might think about it when she was a toddler. My mum was dead against that because she said that then she would feel the pain. In my mum's view, you either do it when the baby is not old enough to feel pain in the lobes, or you do it when the child is old enough to decide for herself, so don't think that (some) cultures that pierce don't think about these things.

I have always loved my pierced ears. I never look back at photos of myself as a child and think how horrible. I only wore very small studs and I think it looked quite pretty. I also like it on the many Brazilian little girls there are where I live. I guess between that feeling and the decision not to pierce my daughter's ears I'm a real mix of the culture I'm from and the culture I grew up in.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2009 08:57

babies cant feel pain in ear lobes at 3days old?

have NEVER heard this, surely pain is pain, and would still hurt them

are you saying they dont cry at all, maybe all injections can be given then at this time,as at 2,3&4mths they often cry with their jabs

why inflict pain on a child when there is no need?

when they are old enough to decide they want ear rings and know it will hurt them, then have teir ears pierced

and no one has commented about what i said about boys having their ears donw

it looks chavvy - sorry - thats mvho

mrsjupiter · 20/06/2009 09:41

blondes as I can't remember, I can only go by what my mum told me about my sister and I having our ears pierced and she said that we didn't cry. Given how strongly against piercing older babies and toddlers she was I'm inclined to believe her.

Re what you're saying about injections, I'm pretty sure I specified it's only the ear lobes that I understand don't feel pain at that stage. My daughter certainly felt pain from all the injections and IVs she had in the NICU and unfortunately these can't be put in in the ear lobe! There was one amazing doctor who could put a line in without making her cry but he was certainly the exception. Mostly she screamed.

Talking about my daughter in the NICU - I've remembered something. When she was first born I often used to come in to the NICU and find her sleeping with her head on the side and her ear all crumpled up beneath her and she didn't seem to notice at all. The ears were really soft and I remember always pushing them back into place as I thought she could sleep like that indefinitely and end up with her ears all screwed up.

It's not impossible that the nerves there develop sensation later. Could be something evolutionary like making it less unpleasant for the baby to get it's head out of where it's supposed to. Totally totally guessing though.

Anyway, not trying to convince anyone, was just sharing my experience.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2009 12:34

always good to shre experinces

dc3 always sleep with her ear bent - you could be right

hope your dd is ok know

mrsjupiter · 20/06/2009 13:51

She's great thanks blonde. She was born at 27 + 6 and we had a really really scary time but now you'd never know it (touch wood) except for these tiny scars all over her hands and feet from those needles we were talking about! Doctors v pleased with her.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2009 14:39

wow she was early - what weight?

bet that gave you and dh a few sleepless nights

mrsjupiter · 20/06/2009 15:17

You can say that again - it was a real rollercoaster. She weighed 1.14 kg. She's now 11 months old (so 8 corrected) and weighs 9.5 kg. Still can't believe it's the same baby. Touching wood with every part of my body! I'm just pregnant again (4 weeks) and am pretty scared.

Hope we don't get into trouble for veering off topic!

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/06/2009 15:35

aww very diddy - glad she is fine now

good luck with no 2 xx

mrsjupiter · 20/06/2009 15:42

Thank you!

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