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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to hate ear piercings on toddlers

98 replies

SunisShinin · 17/06/2009 18:47

Every time i see them it makes my blood boil. Its a visual message that says -'I didn't love you enough just the way you were so I've caused you physical pain and risked future infection and / or injury to stick this lump of metal in your ear and now you meet my aesthetic standards' - aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. How could they do it to them.

OP posts:

LittleMammaTo2 · 17/06/2009 21:21

I appreciate different cultures see things differently - personally I hate to see toddlers with pierced ears - a toddler at DD's nursery has hers done and they look awful

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/06/2009 09:34

personally i dont like children with earings, esp little babies with hoops that they can easily catch and pull out and then have a torn ear lobe (my friend works in a&e and has seen many of these)

its also the pain thing,why would you delibratley make a baby/toddler cry, as well as possible infection

when a child wants their ears done and knows it will hurt , say 7/8yrs then thats fine

as much as i hate seeing earings on litle girls, it is even worse on boys of 5+

though have to say dh looks very sexy in his diamond stud, and i have my ears done twice, once at 11 and once at 15/16 and wear diamond studs and small goldhoops

AliGrylls · 18/06/2009 09:40

I personally don't like ear rings on toddlers.

At that age it is not the choice of the child but the choice of the parent that is driving it which seems wrong. Once they are old enough to make their decisions about what they want to do with their body then it is up to them.

lagaanisace · 18/06/2009 09:41

YANBU

chaya5738 · 18/06/2009 09:41

I think it looks awful on small children but my issue with it is that it should be the child's choice as to what is done permanently to their body.

I didn't have my ears lobes pierced (I had an awful piercing at the top of my ear when I was a teenager) until I was 24 and it was quite a big event - I went with my girlfriend and then we bought some gorgeous pearl earrings afterwards. I would have hated to had that choice taken away from me and been deprived of all the fun of getting it done myself with a friend when I was older.

sleeplessinstretford · 18/06/2009 09:46

I never thought I would even contemplate it but actually I think i'd like to get dd2 done now she's little.
My neice had hers done as a new born (she's spanish and it's cultural over there) and they looked cute.
DP says over his dead body though so I wont do it out of respect for him- I think a little pair of studs is cute.

SouthMum · 18/06/2009 09:51

YANBU - I'll be honest and get very judgey when I see a small baby with pierced ears.

The purpose of pierced ears (IMO) is to make the person feel good by wearing nice jewellery and to look attractive. A baby does not need to feel nice and certaintly does not (SHOULD not) need to look attractive.

Always wonder why parents do that to their babies tbh....

Stigaloid · 18/06/2009 09:54

I feel the same way about cricumcision TBH but then each family has their own beliefs and follows what si the norm for them. Can't really judge. I don't think it means they love them less or didn't like how they looked au naturel

YAB a teensy bit U

zeke · 18/06/2009 10:09

I don't like the look of them either but I'm not that judgemental about it. I don't really understand why parents do it but I think that is simply because I don't think it looks very nice.
I don't think dummies look very nice either, especially with children over the age of one but at least I can understand a reason for that!

KidsTunes · 18/06/2009 10:25

Every time i see them it makes my blood boil.

Makes your blood boil? Sunisshinin, you should really try to relax about insignificant things you've no control over. There's more important things to worry about

mumsiebumsie · 18/06/2009 10:39

Had mine pierced at 3 months. Apparently cried for less than a minute. I like them and have never regretted it. However if I had a daughter I do think it'd be nice for her to decide for herself and to make it a meaningful experience.

And for what it's worth - I've never seen this topic discussed on a forum before so thanks for posting it.

LovingtheSilverFox · 18/06/2009 10:39

I saw a child the other day with pierced ears, she wasn't even a toddler, I guess she was about two months, if that.

I don't agree with it, and my girlys can have it done as and when they are old enough to make the decision for themselves. (I have my ears pierced btw) But what establishment would pierce the ears of a child that young?
Surely they could get in trouble for that? I know its a parental responsibility, but I want DTs names tatooed on their foreheads as we get them confused, and I am fairly sure we can't have that done, as they are only 6 months old.

ThePhantomPlopper · 18/06/2009 10:42

I've spent a lot of time in India, over there, most little girls have it done and they do look lovely with their bright saris and bangles.

I think it's different over here because many of the girls and boys(not all, I know I'm stereotyping but its just my experience around these parts) are sporting an Adidas tracksuit and baby Ugg boots.

I don't think it's fair to start shooting babies in the ear whatever your culture, but it happens.

lucyellensmumisgreat · 18/06/2009 10:59

mnet never changes does it, theres always these old chestnuts.

roulade · 18/06/2009 11:00

I will never forget when i was around 13, my mum and stepdad took my 2 sisters and i with them to get my baby twin sisters ears pierced ( they were almost 1 ). The screaming was so bad that my mum left the room crying. I would never put a young child through this needless pain. I had mine done when i was 7 and asked for it for my birthday and i still remember not being able to sleep due to the soreness for a few days.

Olifin · 18/06/2009 12:45

I think pierced ears look really tacky on children. Mind you, I think any jewellery looks naff on a child. Children don't need accessories to look beautiful. If you're going to put jewellery on them, you might as well give them a full face of make up too, as far as I'm concerned.

I think some parents make the mistake of believing that it is only hooped or dangly earrings that present a safety risk but studs can be just as dangerous.

FairLadyRantALot · 18/06/2009 13:06

...op I think that your post was a bit out of order and to assume that a parent who lets their Toddler get their ear pierced don't love them as they are...that is ott...

however, I do agree with you on the sentitment that they are not very nice on Babies or Toddlers, and I do dislike them a lot....because I do think little children are gorgeous enough wihtout it...but that is my personal view, and I accept that otehrs don't hold the same view

Also, their are obviously cultures where ear piercings, etc...are done as part of that culture...and I think it is slightly different, I suppose....still don't like it...but that is neither here nor there...

GoodWitchGlinda · 18/06/2009 13:10

I agree, I think it is child abuse and looks hideous. Ok, it might be the culture in some places, but so is walking around with your boobs out, and we don't do that here, do we!

I think it should not happen until the child is at least 12, when they can realistically decide for themselves. Would you tatoo a baby? No, and piercing them is just as bad, in my book. It can cause permanent change to the ears if the holes don't close up or there is a scar tissue issue.

Even if there is no damage to the child's ears, it is still a hideous thing to put a baby through! I nearly cried at the heel prick tests, let alone handing them over in Claire's accessories for purely cosmetic reasons! It should not be allowed.

And Pinkstarfish - just clear off and leave the rest of us to debate this. If you have seen it on every forum under the sun, you shpould probably consider spending a bit less time on the computer and more time in the real world.

ClaraDeLaNoche · 18/06/2009 13:15

Olifin - I'm with you re jewelery. My DD got a baby charm bracelet for her baptism, and the person who bought it put in on her. Not a good look.

Olifin · 18/06/2009 13:35

clara- Arrrgghh! Did you manage to grin through gritted teeth at the kindly relative who bought the bracelet?!

sweetnitanitro · 18/06/2009 17:40

Roulade- that's awful I could never do that to my daughter, I hate it when she's in pain.

Chen23 · 18/06/2009 18:39

of course YANBU to 'hate' piercings on toddlers; to intimate that someone who does decide to pierce their own kids ears at a young age somehow doesn't love them enough is pretty ignorant however.

As for Oilfins coment that all jewellery looks naff on children and 'they might as well have a full face of make up' etc etc etc......

my dd is half chinese and it's common for chinese babies to be given a gold anklet with a bell on it. how that equates with giving her a full face of make up is a bit beyond me.

Tryharder · 18/06/2009 18:57

A Czech lady at DS2's baby group mentioned out loud that she was thinking of getting her DD's ears done on a trip to Prague (baby possibly 5 months old at the time).

Needless to say, it didn't go down very well

But, DH is Gambian and in The Gambia, if a baby doesn't have its ears pierced, people assume it's a boy - even if the 'boy' is wearing a pink dress.

But I still think it's wrong and looks chavvy!

shockers · 18/06/2009 19:02

Hate to see it personally... think children's ears are pretty enough without metal through. Don't like to see little girls in tarty outfits either or boys patterns shaved into their hair. Lots of things I do like though... mucky kids who look like they've been adventuring and don't give two hoots about 'grown up' fashion is a particular favourite!

Olifin · 18/06/2009 19:17

chen, you're right that giving a child a piece of jewellery as part of a tradition is not the same as giving them a full face of make-up. However, you presumably don't have to put the anklet on the child, if you don't want to. My DD received a silver bangle as present when she was a baby. I think it is a pretty item and it is kept in DD's memory box along with all those other precious babyhood things. I've never put it on her though, as I don't really like the look of jewellery on babies. Fine for others to do it but it's not for me, personally.

What particularly grates though (and what I meant by the make-up comment) is children who look like they're dressed as mini-adults, complete with accessories: jewellery, mini handbags, shoes with heels, 'skinny' jeans, spangly tops etc.. It just makes me a bit sad.

shockers- I'm with you on that one

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