birthday party for DD3 !- DH is furious with me!

[drlove8]

because ive booked a party bus for DD3'S 11th birthday! ...it is quite expensive and she can only have 12 "guests" ... need to explain a bit. Last year dd3 had a bithday party booked in a local kids play area, sort of indoor adventure playgrond place, she had the "disco" party booked... and we handed out the invites. DD4 came home from school that day crying - none of her friends would be able to go because another little girl's mum had decided to throw a massive party/bbq at her new 5 bedroom house , they'd just moved in and the "parents were invited too" so of course DD3'S kids party looked a bit shit compared to that. we got one reply that dd3's best friend would go... one out of 30! the thing is the party was booked for dd3's actual birthday , the other wee girl's birthday was days later ... who also said to dd3 that her " party place was for babies" .... AGAIN this year the other wee girl has a party booked on DD3's birthday... but its at the "party place for babies!" .... so i thought bugger this im going to have something for dd3 thats extra special!... so i booked the party bus!... its booked at an earlier time than the other wee girls party and will end just before hers starts.... so the kids cam go to both parties if they choose to.... so am i being unreasonable ... i just dont want my wee DD3 in tears again on her birthday!

Oh Edam that is mean of them - the last thing you need to be worrying about now...

Ah see I had none of that rigmarole, just waited at the village hall for the next one to start!

There doesn't seem to be any party buses in my area. Maybe I should start one, one slight hitch though I can't drive!

Can I ask why you posted this -

the other girls mum , has also said she's not inviting one of the wee girls because her mum is "smelly". She's not, but she is on a very low income and her partner isnt her DD's dad.... i do think the other woman judges people by what they have though.

Is it relevant?

Fimbo -

"her Mum must have known it was the ops dd's birthday from last yr."

oh don't you just hate those parents who remember when the birthday of every child in their DC has ever known falls

I struggle to remember family birthdays let alone birthdays of my DS's friends, never mind class "mates" LOL.

Party bus not my scene I'm afraid. I can understand you want your DD's birthday to be special and I would not change the day as it's her actual birthday. But I expect a lot of parents will be asking their children to choose or making the choice on their behalf.

i think it is relavent because , what she did last year to my dd was encite bulling.. my dd3 wasnt invited to her dd's party BTW , hers was given an invite to my dd's.And she's doing similar again to another wee girl... who's actually a lovely child. I do think the other mum has a nasty streak in her.Why else would she say such horrible things to another mum in earshot of the kids in the playground.

Just seen your dd is 11 years old. Do they still have 'parties' at that age?

Mine will be having a couple of friends for a sleepover or going out to tea at that stage I hope.

FGS. What a load of fuss about a birthday party. Can't understand why you just didn't choose a different date.

FAQ - point taken, i have been guilty of forgetting family members bdays

What i meant was the other mum might have remembered from the parties clashing last yr.

btw - your OP says your DH is furious.

Why? 'Cause you spent the money/got involved in a competition with another mother/didn't tell him...??

yabu
you should have consulted wit your dh before you booked it
why don't you and the other mum organise a joint do?

PM73 - I wouldn't remember that either

my DD3 is quite "young" for 10 ( she will be 11), she still plays with dolls. I didnt want to chose another date because its dd3's birthday on the saturday.... and our other kids have lots on during the week and sunday with clubs ect.DH has that saturday off work to help out.We were origionally just going to have a wee party in our house for dd3!

YANBU I hope your DD has a lovely party

Well, its clear you dont like the other mum. I still dont think it should be relevant unless you arranged the party as a sort of tit for tat because you dont like her, in which case yabu.

DH is furious at me for spending so much - but its my money ive put aside for me - he has £ 500 for new alloys he has saved up, i dont see a problem with me spending a bit of mine on my dd's birthday - it would only go on shoes i dont need otherwise! .... but then again if you give to one child .... and we do have 8!

Grapefruit, I don't think they were being deliberately mean, just a little thoughtless. (One of the mothers is very heavily pregnant so can be forgiven forgetting pretty much anything, let alone someone else's child's birthday!) And they are both good friends normally. Their boys have mid/late August birthday and September parties haven't really worked.

Was just a tad miffed they arranged it for the day after ds's actual birthday - but am sure there was no ill-intent, I hadn't sent ds's invites out and tbh would have no idea of the exact date of their kid's birthdays, either!

You have eight children? Do you spend this much time and worry on all of their birthdays?

Your poor DD last year , no wonder you want to do something special for her ... BUT it sounds like the other mum beat you to it and got her invites out first.

I personally wouldn't want to have to take my DS to two parties in one day (especially as it would involve arranging for any other siblings to be looked after), and if I were you I'd have still had the party bus but on another day.

So my advice is, get in early next year and make sure you get your invites out before the other mum!!

TBH ,I dont really know the other mum, but i dont like what she's done . I do know her DH , he's the cousin of my DH's close friend. They all grew up together.Suddenly her kids are not allowed to play with the "poor kids". i think thats awful, just because someone has some hard times doesnt mean theyre not worth the time of day! ( im quite well off myself, but have many lovely friends who have been out off work/on benefits, as i have not long ago.)

How do you have so much time to be so competitive when you have 8 - 8?! - children to worry about??!!!

YANBU to want your DD3 to have a nice birthday party, but YABU to have booked it on that particular day AFTER you found out that the other girl's birthday party had already been booked for that day. If there was an issue with double-booking last year, why didn't you speak to the other mum in advance this year, find out what day she was booking her party, and do yours on a different day? Not all kids have their party ON their actual birthday, and to let your DD think that this is the case is only storing up trouble for later.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I think you need to grow up a bit - and I mean this in the nicest possible way.

yes i do try to make each childs day "special" for them.... but dd3 has had such a hard time this year with bulling i really wanted to go that extra mile! She is such a sweet child , she deserves to be happy!( and be spoilt for the day!) . she never asks for anything , and is always wanting to help with her younger brothers and sister .

I think you are cutting your nose off to spite your face (or more precisely your DDs face )
.What if they all plump for the rich kid's party again ? It might be at a moree convenient time, or more likely the parents want to do some social climbing.
I usually talk to parents whose kids have birthdays at a similar time to avoid a clash (mind you much easier in a small school)