to think that people should be able to sit in their garden without having to listen to other peoples music?

[fufflebum]

I am wondering if I am being unreasonable but wanted to gauge some opinion.....

Here goes we live in a detatched house on an estate but our neighbours (at the back ) seem to like spending a lot of time in their garden. Nothing wrong in this but when they are out there they seem to have to have their radio on. This can go on for hours. Sometimes it is loud enough to hear the song playing, othertimes a low mumbling thump. I am not expecting to sit in the garden in complete silence, god knows my two kids prevent that! However, is it too much to ask that sometimes they could turn the radio off?
This weekend we had it all weekend and very late into Saturday night/sunday morning as they had family around and you could hear voices in the garden.
I am especially sensitive as another neighbour (side on from us) has the occasional bbq and party/disco that goes on until 1 am.
I would never dream of taking a radio in to the garden to listen to music and the children only play out in the garden for an hour or so at a time. Whilst I do expect some noise I cannot understand why I should have to put up with what feels like noise pollution! I am beginning to dread the weekend now. AIBU?

[SomeGuy]

I would be very pissed off if my neighbours complained about us having irregular parties in our garden. Nothing wrong with it at all. I don't complain about the neighbours' kids playing (being noisy) in their gardens either.

[MissSunny]

Message withdrawn

[MissSunny]

Message withdrawn

[Greensleeves]

LOL, it's antisocial to sit in your garden on a sunny afternoon and play the guitar? What joyless rubbish

[fufflebum]

Interested to hear peoples responses to this. Some people think I am BU, others totally see my point of view.

For info, some people seem to think I am restricting my kids playing outside, this is not true. However, as part of a community I would not let them play out all day everyday as I appreciate that my neighbours might get fed up with it. Also we do go out and about and play in parks and so forth, as I don't want to stay in my own house and garden all day with preschoolers.
I am being sensitive to the noise my kids make and would not subject people to them all day every day, why is it ok then to play music all day?

It is quite subjective I think. As one person has posted one persons choice of music is not anothers. In the same way some people would be happy to hear kids playing, for others it would drive them barmy.

I don't object to intermittent noise but if they are home and in the garden the radio has to be on, they even have garden speakers FFS (who invented these?!).

I personally don't understand the need to have music on all the time and if you do why would others necessarily want to hear it. If I liked some ecclectic type of jazz (not to offend anyone) would that not piss them off it I played it all day?

I like the suggestion of playing my own music (and did contemplate this), but actually I don't want too. As this seems a little childish as a response.

surely if everyone did everything they wanted the world would be a worse place......

[onebatmother]

I think that's what I really hate - being prevented from hearing actual outside sounds, for ex birds. Actually, I like tohear eople talking, laughing, playing etc. Just don't want their taste in music which puts a blanket over eveything else.

It's not only intrusive, it's also hugely arrogant to decide unilaterally that your music should be THE sound. Definition of anti=social imo.

[EyeballshasManBoobs]

"I personally don't understand the need to have music on all the time"

But with respect, that's your problem. For some people, music is a very important part of their life. You don't need to be a musician to feel that. If I put a certain song or album on, it takes me back to a place in my life or a place geographically. Who are you to tell me that I can't have that? (sounds arsey but isn't meant like that).

And any music fan will tell you that music though earphones is never the same, otherwise they'd give out little headsets at concerts

[TheFallenMadonna]

I'm reasonably tolerant of my neighbour's noises, probably because bar the drumming teenager they don't make that much, but I am laughing at the suggestion that people who don't want to listen to the music get some earphones. Um...

[TheFallenMadonna]

People aren't suggesting that you never listen to music though are they? Just htat you don't listen to it in the garden. You're arguing against a point that hasn't been made.

[onebatmother]

Well precisely TFM. In every other area of social life, it's the person whose actions have or might have a negative impact on others who is has to limit themselves..

Should it not be 'my right to pleasure exists only until it prevents another from exercising their own?'.

[EyeballshasManBoobs]

But why shouldn't I be allowed to listen to it on my own property? Same as I have to listen to your dog barking on your property, my neighbours in my old house who used to have evening bbqs and sit under my bedroom window arsing about and giggling until gone midnight while I was trying to sleep. But I wouldn't dream of complaining about those things because it's part and parcel of living with other people. Unless it was top volume drum and bass thumping away day after day then no one has any right to say that you can't enjoy it in your own garden.

And I'm still trying to get why listening to music is chavvy.

[onebatmother]

Eyeballs: "I personally don't understand the need to have music on all the time"

But with respect, that's your problem."

No, it's not. We are not allowed to do things which we enjoy wherever we like. For example, I like to masturbate, but I don't do it in public because it would be alarming and because there are laws against it.

It doesn't mean that my right to masturbate is beign infringed. It means that the greater good is more important than my right to sexual pleasure in the open air.

Hope that helps

[onebatmother]

"But why shouldn't I be allowed to listen to it on my own property?"

Well you can. As long as it stays within the boundaries of your property. Which it doesn't when played outside, sound waves being what they are.

[Baisey]

Awww I grew up living next door to a pub that hosted karaoke sessions every Friday night. Once I looked old enough I soon realised it best that if you cant beat them join them!
You need to let go and realise that people arnt going to stop living their lives just because something rather small and unimportant is annoying you, once you do this it'll be much less of a problem. Everyday noises like this arnt unreasonable, its LIFE.

[piscesmoon]

Also what about afteroon / evening parties / gatherings / bbqs? We have them a couple of times a week in the summer - with music.

I am glad I don't live next door to you-I couldn't bear it. I don't mind BBQ and parties once in a while but music -absolutely NOT. It is utter misery for everyone else.

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

YANBU. Its fair enough its an infrequent occurance for a party or BBQ. Otehrwise I think its not fair on your neighbours. Yes you can argue people should live in the middle of nowhere if they don't want the noise. I wish I could afford to but I can't. What happened to being considerate for others?

If I'm in the garden I liek to relax - music is much worse than traffic, dogs, kids, lawnmowers. I think its the beat that stopes me being able to relax. So other people being selfish stop me from beign able to go out in my garden. I end up going inside.

One of my neighbours sunbathes by himself listening to his stereo - why can't he just use an ipod?

[KERALA1]

Utterly utterly NOT being unreasonable.

The odd party - fine.
Children playing - fine.
Occasional practising of a musical instrument - fine.

But constant radio playing is definitely not on. We had this once and got out our radio and played it loudly too. Funnily enough they didnt like it and got the hint. Selfish idiots.

[piscesmoon]

I would love to live in the middle of nowhere but can't afford to either.
Anyone can allow a couple of parties a year and for neighbours to have quiet BBQs but I would be praying for long wet summers!

It is extremely antisocial to have BBQs with music.
I am lucky where I live because although people have friends around for BBQs it is quiet-we have them too. I shall have to check out the neighbours with care next time I move.

I don't think anyone should have music in their garden ever.

[KERALA1]

I quite like the sound of a party - the chink of glasses, laughing and chat. Just not phat beats. Its music that particularly grates.

[londonone]

Radios are fine providing they are not blaring out. At least it is a fairly constant hum/level or noise.

Children playing on the other hand are a complete nightmare, shrieking and screaming, it goes right through me.

However I accept that is my problem.

[cocolepew]

YANBU I love listening to music if I'm outside I use my ipod.

The other weekend i was subjected to The Pussycat Dolls blaring for hours on end.

The Pussycat Dolls ffs.