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AIBU?

to think that people should be able to sit in their garden without having to listen to other peoples music?

125 replies

fufflebum · 15/06/2009 11:27

I am wondering if I am being unreasonable but wanted to gauge some opinion.....

Here goes we live in a detatched house on an estate but our neighbours (at the back ) seem to like spending a lot of time in their garden. Nothing wrong in this but when they are out there they seem to have to have their radio on. This can go on for hours. Sometimes it is loud enough to hear the song playing, othertimes a low mumbling thump. I am not expecting to sit in the garden in complete silence, god knows my two kids prevent that! However, is it too much to ask that sometimes they could turn the radio off?
This weekend we had it all weekend and very late into Saturday night/sunday morning as they had family around and you could hear voices in the garden.
I am especially sensitive as another neighbour (side on from us) has the occasional bbq and party/disco that goes on until 1 am.
I would never dream of taking a radio in to the garden to listen to music and the children only play out in the garden for an hour or so at a time. Whilst I do expect some noise I cannot understand why I should have to put up with what feels like noise pollution! I am beginning to dread the weekend now. AIBU?

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Pogleswood · 15/06/2009 23:20

Constantly being able to hear other people's(canned) music would drive me mad(and has in the past) - the trouble with music is it pulls you in whether you want to listen or not.Why should I have to listen to your music,in my garden?
But all the rest of it I don't mind - pheasants,foxes,builders,children,talking,lawn mowing,guitar playing...none of those noises is as relentless as someone playing music constantly.I don't think it's chavvy,but it is inconsiderate if it's for longer than a certain amount of time.

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zeke · 15/06/2009 23:52

I've been annoyed by this myself, on many an occasion. However, it is a little bit unreasonable - I suppose. The noise in our garden is from our neighbours 25 yr old son in his room with the windows open. It isn't late, it rarely goes on for hours. I just don't like his taste in music!
I have resorted to putting my own music on (not loud) to drown in it out.
I'm sitting on the fence a bit with this one -I sympathise but I also think it is ok to have your radio on in the garden (quietly!).

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DandyLioness · 15/06/2009 23:54

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nappyaddict · 16/06/2009 01:30

Those of you that think it is ok to have music on in the garden at 1am how late do you think is too late?

What about music in the house that you might hear through the walls?

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fufflebum · 16/06/2009 06:25

Ps I did not say it was chavvy having a radio in your garden. This was someone elses response.

All of you who think 1am is acceptable to have an outdoor party should speak with your local council. They are breaking the law.

Would it be acceptable for my children to be out playing and screaming at 1am in the morning? I think not?

Also as for moving to the country, I do not want too thanks. Why should I move because of others anti social behaviour? If they want to listen to music they can do it in their house.

Thanks for the support from all of you who posted so far.

I think people who believe it is acceptable seem to be a minority and they certainly are where I live at the moment. This tells me it is not acceptable and I suspect that other people find it annoying too. (They have told me so) Perhaps we should get together and confront the culprits who are being 'sociable' with their friends/family in the garden. But anti social to everyone else!

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FairLadyRantALot · 16/06/2009 06:43

There are some miserable gits in this world

Well, when you buy a house you buy it because you want to use it (and it's outside space) at your leisure and how you need/please...
obviously yes, one has to be considered....but playing music, or having Kids pplaying out in the garden however much surely is part of this? Obviously early mornings/late nights is a bit different, but in the day....you should be able to do what you want.

And fluffy...you may not find it important to listen to music, but others do....everyone is different and likes different things, and just because you don't like it doesn't make it a weird thing to like...

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FairLadyRantALot · 16/06/2009 06:44

Oh, parties, are a different matter...although, the odd one should be o.k. , but a warning to the neighbours might be appropriate....

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tatt · 16/06/2009 07:08

My neighbours make a lot of noise in their garden - mainly because they like having a lot of people round, the volume of talk rises to compensate and they are a bit deaf... I hate it because I like peace in my garden but its their right to do so and I've never mentioned it to them. However they complain about the large hedge between us that helps to keep the noise down - that is BU! (not shading their garden, BTW - no higher than 6 feet from their side). Look forward to autumn when they tend to be off on holiday.

Agree that if you hate having neighbours the answer is to live in the middle of your own land. They are imposing their music on you - but you want to impose your silence on them part of the time and your childrens noise the rest. Give and take is required.

After 10.p.m, though is unreasonable to me - for the odd party OK but not regularly.

Maybe we should have restrictive covenants on some ares so the quiet people can live in their own enclave.

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sarah293 · 16/06/2009 07:45

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willowstar · 16/06/2009 08:28

Hi fufflbum...I did post to say i thought the poster was being a bit unreasonable, and no i don't think i have ever listened to my music outside while in the garden. I don't smoke but would happily defend the right of others to do so, would never have an abortion but fully support other peoples choice to do so...point is that you can be tolerant of other peoples behaviours even if you don't practice them yourself.

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FairLadyRantALot · 16/06/2009 08:34

indeed willow....

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dmo · 16/06/2009 09:14

i must have fantastic neighbours my ds;s aged 11 and 12 have music lessons (drums and electric guitar) and pratice most nights/weekends

we were in our neighbours garden at weekend (3 doors down) and boys were playing and we were making jokes (as if you let your child have a drum kit etc etc)

both neighbours eirther side have been fab and even give my drumming son promps

they cant play at weekend till 12pm and have to finish at 8pm but they normally do half hour bursts here and there in those hours

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katiestar · 16/06/2009 09:37

Youi sound like me .My DSs s play drums , trumpet , electric gutar and keyboard , but not at unraesonable times or for long duration

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sarah293 · 16/06/2009 11:10

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DandyLioness · 16/06/2009 12:55

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LovingtheSilverFox · 16/06/2009 13:15

YANBU, we have this issue at the moment. Teenage girls next door listen to their music with all the doors and windows open. It started last summer, and I thought we might get a break over the winter, but no, they still had their windows open during the winter, goodness knows what their heating bill is like!

My real problem is that the hip hoppy type music they listen to contains swear words which my three year old DD can hear. Seriously its that loud you can hear it word for word. Even when I have my doors and windows shut. I have had to ask my dad to have her in the afternoons at my parents house to keep her away from it.

If it was just not my taste, I wouldn't mind. If the was a let up, I wouldn't mind, but this is almost all the time they are there, and some of the language is obscene.

We are now moving!

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picmaestress · 17/06/2009 00:49

YANBU - I've just moved from a flat where the neighbours were an utter nightmare.
I appreciate some families are musical, but their teenage son had a death metal band. He and his mates practised with two sets of drums, two electric guitars with amps and several sets of impressive shouty lungs. Windows open, several days a week, until late, and for hours on saturdays and sundays.
I finally had had enough (it wasn't possible to have a conversation in our flat it was so loud) and went and pointed out to them (very nicely and politely) that it was INSANE. They couldn't actually hear what I was saying at first, which was kind of...ironic.
The mother was all huffy and hysterical, and said 'well, would you rather HE WAS OUT IN THE STREET??'

I think even they then realised it was a bit ridiculous, as they seemed to stop him at 9pm most nights after that.

I now live in a great house, with brilliant neighbours who make a little bit of noise in a vaguely civilised manner. Low volume radio, TV, music, parties on saturday and sunday, little kids crying or playing: all fine, I have no problem with this, I'm not expecting silence.

I used to cry regularly, it was so upsetting and intrusive. I feel so sorry for whoever moves in to that flat.

To all of the posters who are defending the right for people to play music, please if you do anything, just briefly consider other people's rights too. You probably don't realise how loud it is to other people. They are probably too scared to complain; it took me about 6 months to work up the nerve. I don't think it's a great way to treat other people, to just expect them to lump it, or move house.

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mrsjammi · 17/06/2009 11:56

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mistlethrush · 17/06/2009 12:21

I've solved our problem with neighbours playing music so that it was clearly audible in our garden (and indeed, in the house): last summer I was quietly weeding and there was a compilation disc on - absolutely all clearly audible, could hear all the words to the songs etc (very good hifi system!). ALong came something that I recognised - so I joined in. It went quite high. So did I. Fairly loudly. Both of their dogs started barking frantically and a joking comment came through the hedge that I frightened the dogs - I said I was just joining in. But to this day I've not heard the music on at even half of the volume that they had it that day - and that was reasonably early last summer.

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LovingtheSilverFox · 17/06/2009 12:32

PMSL! Singing along with the song, and "frightented the dogs"!!!

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mistlethrush · 17/06/2009 12:53

I do sing in a couple of choirs - and can be quite loud - and I wasn't pulling any punches based on the volume that they had it at!

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LovingtheSilverFox · 17/06/2009 14:16

I'm glad that worked for you. I am 29, and wouldn't say in conversation some of the words in my neighbours songs, let alone sing along loudly!

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mistlethrush · 17/06/2009 14:33

LTSF - I think it might even have been a bit of a Tchaikovsky ballet that I sang along too..

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LovingtheSilverFox · 17/06/2009 15:12

Wow, so no lyrics, even more talented! No wonder it scared the dogs! Although very cultural neighbours you have there! Much more classy than those in Essex obviously!

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laweaselmys · 17/06/2009 15:43

I think the iPod solution is total pants. To start with radios are cheap to buy and free to run iPods are not - I spent years saving up to get mine, and as and when you fancy listening to something new you have to pay for it.

Given that it was so expensive there is no way I am putting it in my pocket and pottering around in the garden with it! ipod in the watering can? No thank you.

I also wouldn't be able to hear my baby crying with earphones in.

Quiet enough that you can only just hear it is NBU. YABU.

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