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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be cross at asked why i am letting my DD infect people.

94 replies

katiestar · 12/06/2009 17:45

DS1 secondary school has closed for a week after one of the children contracted swine flu.My DS1 has been in contact with her and is taking Tamiflu.When I took my DD to playgroup this morning I noticed evrybody was being handed a leaflet about swineflu and overheard one of teh staff say it was' because of one of the children's siblings.'
On the way out a woman approached me and said wasn't I worried about DD infecting the other children.
I pointed out that she was not got swine flu or had even been in contact with anyone who had and I had no intention of keeping her ,or any of my children under house arrest.
When I got home I realised that my DD is the only one at the playgroup with a sibling at the secondary school in question.
Now I can sort of accept that people are stupid and bitchy and overlook the comment from the mad parent.But I am a bit annoyed at the playgroup .

OP posts:
MaggieBee · 12/06/2009 17:51

when your son was 'in contact' with her, and is taking swine flu, I am understand that to mean that his coming down with swine flu was considered not a totally impossible outcome...??

People are infectious/contagious before they know that they're going to get ill.

So you don't know that your son won't get it.

Having said that, I don't think people should panic. In 1998, 20,000 people died from flu. that was a bad year, but still, we never heard a word about that on the news.

MaggieBee · 12/06/2009 17:52

Sorry for the appalling standard of English in that last post!!

Reallytired · 12/06/2009 17:55

The people at the playgroup may have babies who are far too young for Tamiflu or they are pregnant.

Even if your child does not have symptoms they might be infectious. This disease has killed people and prehaps you need to GROW UP and and THINK why such drastic action has been taken of closing your child's school.

It may be dull keeping your children at home for a week but frankly its not the end of the world. It would be the end of the world if my baby died of swine flu. Prehaps the mothers feel the same and its you who are being selfish.

SoupDragon · 12/06/2009 17:55

So, MB, do you think we should keep siblings of children who have been exposed to CPox in quarantine too?

Hulababy · 12/06/2009 17:56

But you can't be expected to remain under house arrest for 1 week or two incase a child gets an illness. That would be madness.

Are there any children/parents there with suppressed immune system or anything like that, for them to be over cautious about?

Hulababy · 12/06/2009 17:59

Also from what I can gather noone in the UK has died from swine flu. Infact only 141 deaths worldwide have occured and majority of those in people with other health coniditioons. Eve without doing any maths I know that this is a tiny fraction of the number of people who have had swine flu, which is in almost all UK cases have been mild and not wrse than normal flu.

tulip27 · 12/06/2009 18:00

I agree with the playgroup I think going to a playgroup when you have had contact with someone with swine flu is irresponsible. Ok I don't think you should stay at home but whats wrong with wide open spaces,walks etc.

Hulababy · 12/06/2009 18:02

If you think you have been in contact with someone who had been in contact with someone who had normal flu would you panic so much?

tulip27 · 12/06/2009 18:03

No but swine flu is affecting the young so this is a different trait than other flu.

MaggieBee · 12/06/2009 18:03

All I'm saying is that people can't really be outraged because they genuinely dont know for sure that their child wouldn't pass on swine flu. They just can't know for sure, especially if their child has been prescribed tamiflu! somebody must have thought it was a reasonable risk.

I agree with this statement tbh "The people at the playgroup may have babies who are far too young for Tamiflu or they are pregnant."

I'm not a scaremongerer on the subject of swineflu and haven't given it much thought, but I would have kept away from the playgroup for a week I think. That's just what I would have done.

wonderingwondering · 12/06/2009 18:05

I hardly think missing a hour's playgroup, where children mix closely, is a hardship for the OP. And obviously, given the media coverage, people are going ot be very concerned. So yes, I think the risk of infection is low, but the risk of causing worry is high, and for that reason, I think you should have missed the playgroup this week.

And if swine flu is so benign, the OP's son wouldn't be taking Tamiflu to avoid getting it, would he?

MaggieBee · 12/06/2009 18:05

Soupdragon, no, but Chicken Pox is not new, it's risks are more quantifiable and identifiable and treatable... Don't think they are comparable. CP is something that we all get (and get over).

SoupDragon · 12/06/2009 18:11

No, people die from CPox too.

PerfectPrefect · 12/06/2009 18:11

Hang on.

She has had contact with someone who has had contact with someone who has had swine flu.

Also - although it is true that you are contagious before symptomatic in the case of flu it is a pretty minimal period (less than 48hrs I think). It is not like they will be wandering around for 2 weeks before showing symptoms.

I think that it is the right thing for the playgroup to be handing out information (after all chances are one ofthe other families has probably had contact with someone owho has had contact with the affected if it is a small community). Bit off to directly be told that in essence you shouldn't be there. I think that it shows abit of public ignorance TBH.

MaggieBee · 12/06/2009 18:12

That is much rarer. Practically every child in GB has had CP. They aren#t comparable.

PerfectPrefect · 12/06/2009 18:14

|WasWondering.

The thing about the prophylactic tamiflu is to try and curb the virus. The more people it infects the more likely it is that mutation will occur increasing virulence or mortality.

So it probably will befairly benign to OPs son if he gets it. but the longer this goes on the worse it could get.

tamiflu is for the beneit f the community as much as the individual.

sarah293 · 12/06/2009 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 12/06/2009 18:15

No one at all in the UK has died from Swine Flu. I bet CPox deaths aren't "much rarer" in the UK than zero.

wonderingwondering · 12/06/2009 18:16

But the risk/benefit thing seems skewed here - I would be concerned if swine flu were in my community, and I would expect people to be sensitive.

So if an older child is deemed to be at sufficient risk of developing swine flu that he has been given Tamiflu, I would exercise a bit of discretion in deciding where to take my other children. So a walk int he park, yes, close-quarters activity like playgroup or soft play, no.

I think it is just being sensible, and considerate.

MaggieBee · 12/06/2009 18:19

From the BBC website "Official figures numbers peaked at 39 deaths in 1996 - although there has been a drop in recent years."

I think that Swine Flu is an unknown at this point. It could mutate. It's a new virus. Varicella roster is much older and more predictable.

It's not just the virus that's the issue, but also fear of the unknown.

I'm not a scaremongerer on the subject of swine flu, so you're talking to the converted. I laughed at Michael O'Leary's comments, and I have posted about the number of people who die from flu in any normal year. (that number is still in the thousands though, way, way, way higher than chicken pox).

Anyway, just because sometimes people die from chicken pox, what does that mean in relation to swine flu? Don't worry because there are other viruses out there? Or, don't worry because people die from other things...? Not sure what chicken pox has to do with the price of fish.

Schulte · 12/06/2009 18:21

I think people who KNOW their dc might come down with CP should also think twice about taking them to play groups...

PerfectPrefect · 12/06/2009 18:21

can I just check on something? When was the last time that DS had any contact with someone infected with Swine flu?

OP suggests a week ago.

Web sources state that maximum incubation period for swine flu is 4 days. Which would mean that if OPs DS has swine flu he would be symptomatic by now. Therefore the evidence strongly suggests that although OPs DS has had contact with an infected party he has not caught Swine flu and therefore is not infectious and neither are his family.

I can understand people being sensitive. But OP IMO did nothing wrong.

wonderingwondering · 12/06/2009 18:28

Perfectprefect, if the OP had been able to explain that, she'd have been able to reassure the people asking. But she doesn't appear to have that sort of knowledge - just an attitude that she didn't think there was much of a risk, and everyone else was being ridiculous. Which I don't think they were.

It is like seeing a child with cp spots - people are concerned but if the parent says they've had them a week, you feel better - but the OP wasn't able to offer reassurance.

DaisymooSteiner · 12/06/2009 18:34

But the OP's daughter was considered at such low risk of getting swine flu that she wasn't given Tamiflu. So I don't think it is at all unreasonable for the OP to carry on as normal with her dd.

PerfectPrefect · 12/06/2009 18:34

But OP had (quite rightly) mad the point that we were talking baout

Contact with someone who had contact with swine flu (as opposed to)
contact with someone with swine flu.

That alone (without the timescales) says that the risks of transimssion were very low.

I don't think people were being deliberately riduclous. They were understandably anxious about there own friends and families. They were reacting in a way that the media has whipped them up to react. Whilst what the people that confronted her were upsetting you can see why they did it (and it wasn't OPs fault).

OP said she was annoyed at the playgroup. I think that playgroup have done the right thing in giving out what sounds like (essentially) public health and hygiene info. This info is what needs to be distributed in affected communities (and after all we are talking bout an affected community here irrespective of whether OP went to playgroup or not) to try and curb this pandemic.