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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be absolutly shocked and livid about a father forgetting his child

91 replies

thesockmonsterofdoom · 12/06/2009 10:21

This morning at school, I was leaving school thisd morning and my dd2's best friend (4yo) was sat on a bench in the school yard crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that his daddy had left him. Now I assumed he was hiding around a corner or something, after waiting with the little boy for 5 mins I was starting to panic, I didnt want to take him off the school premises to look for his dad, some other friends walked past so i asked them to have a look where the dad was parked ( about 3 streets away) and let me know if he was there. Well they call a couple of minutes later and the dad was there, he was just about to drive off, he had actuyally forgotten hisd son. He came running back and I handed over his son and walked off as tbh I darent talk as I didnt know what would come out of my mouth.
I can not believe that you can actually forget your child for what turned out to be about 15minutes and he still wouldnt have remembered if friends had not knocked on car window.
His wife is a friend of mine and I am desperatley hoping him or little boy will tell her what happened as I dont really want to have to.
What if I hadnt walked by, someone else may not have known who he was. What if he had decided to go after his dad and cross several busy roads to find him.
I am really quite angry.

OP posts:

kitbit · 12/06/2009 11:27

Mum left me in Woolworths when I was a week old, she got halfway up the high street and remembered she was missing something. She blamed hormones, plus she wasn't used to having me "outside" and managing a pram! I do know what she means.
It was 40 years ago though, and when she got back 10 mins later all distraught and out of breath there were about a hundred little old ladies standing guard around the pram, taking turns to jiggle it to keep me asleep. They said "we knew you'd be back in a minute". They were the little old lady vigilante army

mumto3boys · 12/06/2009 11:28

In a funny way, it may be a good thing. If he is always moaning at the mum about how she manages the children, maybe his little 'slip-up' will make him realise how blooming hard it is and what she has to cope with on a daily basis.

I wouldn't go ahead and tell her though, it's like telling tales and he is the other parent, not the naughty child.

Would have loved to have seen his face tho!

drivinmecrazy · 12/06/2009 11:30

I left my 6 week old DD1 in a resteraunt, in her car seat under the table a few years ago. It was the first night out with her, a big dinner with all the family. Only realized as my dad climbed into the taxi, asking who had the baby. She was sound asleep and none the wiser. Have also almost left DD2 in playground after picking DD1 up. She was happily playing with a friend and luckily hadn't noticed. again, I only realised when a friend asked if DD2 was still at nursery. In my defence, it was a day she would normally be in nursery so I usually pick DD1 up by myself. It happens

RumourOfAHurricane · 12/06/2009 11:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kittywise · 12/06/2009 11:37

I have forgotton kids before. It happens sometimes, not for 15 mins mind.
Don't be so judgy, you must be perfect

Bettymum · 12/06/2009 11:42

My mum forgot to pick me up from a rehearsal at school once. I sat in the music teacher's car for about half an hour (this was about 9pm) saying "I'm sure she'll be here in a minute". My mum's poor face when the music teacher finally drove me home and I rang on the front door was priceless.
I was 16.
She thought I had been upstairs reading all evening .

LovelyTinOfSpam · 12/06/2009 11:43

Poor little thing. I got left at school once, I got taken into the convent kitchen to wait with a nun, and a builder came in, and she opened the fridge and got him a beer

i assumed it was my dad who had forgotten but it turned out I was supposed to be going to a friends house and her mum had forgotten...

I wouldn't judge the poor bloke must feel a right prat. And it was all alright in the end (as it very very usually is).

LadyOfWaffle · 12/06/2009 11:45

MIL left DH in his pram at the school gates once - walked all the way home until she realised! Though she did get her other child taken off her due to neglect so maybe that's not the same as the others!

zookeeper · 12/06/2009 11:50

YABU. It's very easily done - I did exactly this this morning - I would have been very grateful to you for staying with the child but not thrilled with your "feeling angry"

walkthedinosaur · 12/06/2009 12:00

I've done the driven to work with the baby in the back, completely forgot to drop him off at the childminder's and only noticed him as I got out of the car to go into the office. Bless him he was fast asleep. I had to hare back to the childminders and drop him off before going back to work. I expect it's easly done.

makipuppy · 12/06/2009 12:09

My brother works with 'problem' teenagers - one had just had a baby and left it in a cot on top of one a fridge in a Comet superstore. The PA message needed recording for posterity.

And a friend's dad put their 4 year old on the wrong school bus and it took all day to work out where he was.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 12/06/2009 12:12

OP is probably taking this so badly as the dad is not very nice to the mum apparently and says she can't cope. That would get my back up too and make me almost 'relish' when the dad did something stupid IYSWIM.

Ninkynork · 12/06/2009 12:23

My Mum left me outside a shop all afternoon when I was a few months old. She only realised when my Dad came home from work and asked where I was. I'm adopted and they'd only had me a week or so. They both went tearing back and found me surrounded by a gaggle of old ladies who were wonderfully understanding about it

junglist1 · 12/06/2009 12:41

I left my then newborn in the biscuit aisle in Sainsburys and carried on shopping. My 3 year old asked where the baby was otherwise God knows how long I would have left him there. He just slipped my frazzled mind.

gloomysue · 12/06/2009 12:50

My dh left my 2 year old at school when he was dropping the older ones off. He got all the way home before he realised. Luckily one of the mums recognised my dd and stopped her as she was about to walk out the school gates on her own. Dh thought it was funny that he had forgotten her, I on the other hand did not find it at all amusing.

willowstar · 12/06/2009 12:50

YABU...it happens as all the posts here can attest to...my MIL left my OH outside the post office and got all the way home before she realised something was missing...OHs best friend was forever getting in trouble for forgetting to pick his kids up, he was a lovely bloke, great dad, just got carried away with his job and forgot all about it.

duchesse · 12/06/2009 12:58

My friend accidentally left her newborn DC5 in her car seat on the kitchen table while she went to drop the older ones off at gym. Only realised when they got there that they were one short... Baby was fine, obviously- all strapped in and fast asleep. Guilt was ever-lasting.

plonker · 12/06/2009 12:59

I forgot to pick dd2 up from playgroup once. Dd1 was off school and we busy doing something, I totally forgot that dd2 was at playgroup when the playgroup leader rang me and asked if I was coming to pick her up anytime soon as she was asking for me

I nearly crashed the car I couldn't get there quick enough!! I was mortified!

I also spent a morning searching the town for a mum of a little boy who'd been left at school in the midst of the morning school run. She thought she's already dropped him off at nursery. She was gutted, I felt so sorry for her. On the bright side - the little boy was completely unphased

YABU. Shit happens.

islandofsodor · 12/06/2009 13:01

I've done it.

I was dropping dd (then aged 4) off at nursery and ds (then aged 2) ran off into the home corner as I was settling her in, hanging her coat up etc.

I said goodbye, went to leave, was halfway through the door when the nursery teacher said "Mrs IOS I think you've forgotten something"

It ever so easy done.

FAQinglovely · 12/06/2009 13:05

I nearly forgot to pick DS2 up from school - on his birthday last year!!!!

I took DS3 to the toddler group. Looked at the clock at 3.10 and thought right I'd better go and get DS1, headed off up the road - and then realised that I had to collect DS2 from the infant school that I HAD JUST WALKED PAST!

I was over 5 minutes late picking him up and he was the only child in his class waiting for a parent

BriocheDoree · 12/06/2009 13:05

Surely if the child is 4 they shouldn't have been on their own in the school yard anyway? Where I live (not UK, admittedly) kids of that age are handed over to their parent or nanny or whatever. If no-one comes to pick them up, they stay with the teacher while she phones the parents.
At least OP was on the ball and the little boy got home. I'm sure the Dad was mortified!

plonker · 12/06/2009 13:11

Brioche - I don't think the little boy attends the school. My understanding of the OP was that the little boy was left after an older child was dropped off, the dad just forgot to take the younger one with him?

I may be wrong though ...

SoupDragon · 12/06/2009 13:14

Have you never forgotten anything?

I've forgotten to strap my children into their car seats.
I've forgotten to strap the seat into the car.
I've even forgotten to grab DD from the playpen at swimming as I was worried abut DSs waiting in the foyer.

edam · 12/06/2009 13:17

Oh dear. I would be pissed off with the father because he's constantly getting at the mother yet is equally capable of fucking up himself.

If he was a nice guy who had just made a mistake I'd just feel sympathetic.

DO mention it to the mother in a jokey way, though, in case he doesn't mention it.

HellHathNoFury · 12/06/2009 13:17

My Dad used to forget me all the time. My mum forgot my sister a few times.
There were 5 of us, it happens.

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