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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if this is the way we treat men then there's no wonder they're so shit?

41 replies

raisingrrrl · 08/06/2009 22:55

Here is what has attracted my ire. And yes, I know it's a bit of a "laugh" but if women insist on treating men like toddlers then you don't get to complain when they act like them.

Hmph.

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 08/06/2009 22:58

Bloody hell, I really get annoyed at these sort of gender stereotypes. Grrrrrrr

ABetaDad · 08/06/2009 23:06

I really like clothes shopping with DW. I have just spent all day shopping with her buying household stuff. We enjoyed that as well, had sme lunch and a glass of wine and even held hands walking round the shop for a while.

DW likes going shopping on her own too and I like going on my own too. I guess we do not go together all the time so its not like we are chained together and we only shop online for supermarket stuff.

Silly stereotype.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 08/06/2009 23:08

I once had a male au-pair who loved shopping. (And he wasn't gay. Sorry for the further stereotyping.)

He would drag me round emporia of tat. It was awful.

thumbwitch · 08/06/2009 23:12

it might be a silly stereotype but it is also EXACTLY what DH is like - so it's not untrue.

We were out together the other day and I just fancied a bit of a browse - I was roundly told "you do remember that I hate shopping, don't you?"

Well yes, he hates shopping - for anything other than stuff for him; household/me/baby stuff is a complete "oh ffs do I have to".

And let's face it - I'm not the one who brought him up, it's not down to me that he behaves like that!

thumbwitch · 08/06/2009 23:14

Ah yes, just remembered - we were in Covent Garden! Hardly your average suburban shopping mall...

Original poster
raisingrrrl · 08/06/2009 23:21

To be completely fair, I'd rather shove a wasp's nest up my arse than go shopping with dh - I can think of at least 5 of my girl friends who would be better shopping companions than him.

It was more the "reward the good behaviour and ignore his tantrums" bit that got me irritated. I mean, surely there's no need to treat grown men like that? And yet, I know people who do!

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 08/06/2009 23:25

I see what you nean, raisingrrrl - I wouldn't do that bit, I have to say. DH's reward is being allowed to leave the shopping area!

If we do have to go on a joint shopping trip I really do find the best way to do it is for us to separate for about 45 mins and then reconvene - saves soooo much hassle. Except that we usually have to reconvene in the men's department so he can get my input on what he wants to buy (he WANTS it, he ASKS for it, truly!)

GentlyDidIt · 08/06/2009 23:28

I've been whinging about the "ho ho aren't men useless" stereotype this week, too.

Kathy Lette was on the BBC breakfast news a couple of days ago and I said to DH "Oh no, I can't stand her - she always manages to work in a bit about how useless her husband is, just for a cheap laugh."

She didn't let me down. DH was gobsmacked by my psychic powers...

paisleyleaf · 08/06/2009 23:28

I thought that was funny
"agonising levels of choice in an uncomfortable environment"
.....but then I did also like the HLW thread

Original poster
raisingrrrl · 08/06/2009 23:32

HLW is different. It's an in-joke, and thus funny.

This is lazy stereotyping for a cheap laugh, and thus shit.

OP posts:
flatcapandpearls · 08/06/2009 23:34

I can't bear the men are shit sterotype, although dp is a bit like that on s shopping trip. He is certainly not shit though, like most people he is a good honest individual.

AitchTwoOh · 08/06/2009 23:39

but who's being insulted? the bloke or the woman? it's not incredibly funny, certainly, but it's hardly primetime bbc, just some shitey clip off the internet.

Original poster
raisingrrrl · 08/06/2009 23:43

Oh no, I know Aitch. Hence my lack of sense of humour.

I think it's me who feels insulted, because I'm expected to laugh along with everyone else, ha ha ha, aren't men shit and aren't we a bunch of twats for letting them behave like this?

And I think i would be much less annoyed by it if it wasn't such a common stereotype.

And having said all that, I think Man Stroke Woman is fecking hilarious, so I'm clearly a massive hypocrite, and off to bed.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 08/06/2009 23:46

I thought the bloke pulled some fab faces - and looked like he had loads of fun making that.
I hate to think he was being exploited for women's amusement

mayorquimby · 08/06/2009 23:48

you couldn't pay me to go shopping with my OH.
i wouldn't enjoy it, she wouldn't enjoy it. so why bother?

hmc · 08/06/2009 23:51

Fgs - lighten up you po faced miserable gets. It wasn't the most original wittily observed film clip, but frankly, who the hell cares!

HerbWoman · 09/06/2009 10:54

Interesting that the appreciative comments at the bottom are all from men.

poshsinglemum · 09/06/2009 12:28

I don't understand why anyone would want to go shopping with anyone else- male OR female.
I need to go shopping alone to get maximum
pleasure. Otherwise it's a drag.

Morloth · 09/06/2009 12:32

DH hates shopping really really loathes it. Unless strangely if it is for gadgets

I buy everyone's clothes in our house, DS has inherited DH's dislike it would seem.

Suits me, I enjoy a good shop - with coffee/lunch etc thrown in, and as I am a control freak I also like that I effectively get to choose what they wear (though obviously they have the right of veto).

They hate it and mostly don't care what they wear, I enjoy it and do care so it makes sense that I do the shopping.

TheProfiteroleThief · 09/06/2009 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves · 09/06/2009 12:34

erm they aren't shit

shit is shit

and most of us don't ill-treat each other!

Fimbo · 09/06/2009 12:36

Our largish New Look has seats and papers for men.

Only probably is I hate New Look apart from their Hula jeans, so rarely venture in.

ABetaDad · 09/06/2009 12:59

OK. A bit of advice if yur man does not like shopping with you for clothes to make it more fun.

Involve him in your decisions. Dont take him to be a spectator. Get him involved. Ask him what he would like to see you wear.

Dont force him to go every time when you go shopping. Don't drag him round every shop in town just browsing. Do the browsig on your own first and work out what thngs you might like then tell him you are going to buy a dress and that you have seen 3 that you like but would like his opinion.

That way he knows it s not going to be hours and hours, he has a role to play and you are being appreciative of him and his opinion.

Then having done the shop go and do something nice he likes as well.

Morloth · 09/06/2009 13:10

ABetaDad "Ask him what he would like to see you wear."

I can't think of anything more likely to cause a knock down, drag it out, screaming fight in the middle of Selfridges actually

mayorquimby · 09/06/2009 13:15

"OK. A bit of advice if yur man does not like shopping with you for clothes to make it more fun.

Involve him in your decisions. Dont take him to be a spectator. Get him involved. Ask him what he would like to see you wear"

please don't.the only thing that could make shopping with the OH worse is if she was to start asking my opinions. i don't really care, you know i'll get it wrong and more importantly this is only going to serve to lengthen the time shopping will take up, rather than just making the decision yourself.
btw i do enjoy clothes shopping for myself, but this is a solitary pursuit as i can go as fast or as slow as i need to and i don't feel like i'm dragging someone around where they don't want to be.

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