to have found the checkout assistant's reaction to my shopping hysterical?

[JackBauer]

In tesco, have had some money through so was mooching and buying nice things for us all, magazines, a couple of toys nice snacks etc
Lovely 'granny' type checkout lady, having a natter with her about DD2's hair and DD1 being at school and them not having slept the ngiht before blah blah, when she suddenly stops midsentence, looks at what is in her hands, and then goes bright red and shoves the rest of my shopping through as fast as she possibly can.

To make it worse I hadn't clicked until we were leaving that that was why and I was still trying to talk to her saying 'I hope that they sleep tonight so I get some time to myself

What did I buy? Scarlet magazine (with free erotic book!)

lol

lol

pmsl

pervert

[cats bum mouth]

Bless her, she looked so shocked

Glad I didn't buy condoms

Go back to her checkout tonight and buy a jumbo tube of lubricating jelly and a bumper pack of battering.

Oh Figment, was it you?

batteries even

wtf is battering?

xposts, thank god, I thought DH and I were missing out on something new there

Go back to her checkout with .....
Bin bags, duct tape, small bag of oranges (tory mp style) 3lb of lard, 10 packs of condoms, 7 top shelve mags a DVD of the sound of music and 2 kippers, tell her its DHs lucky night

I thought yyou were referring to pankace batter! Now that shocked even me!

#Ohh what's scarlett magazine?

And can you report back when you've read the book as to whether or not it is any good? I am on thr hunt from some erotic fiction...

Ohhhh - I didn't know Tesco sold it......

It has a website here but I have never seent eh magazine, and certainly wasn't expecting it next to Prima and Instyle in my local Tesco's
Have had a flick, it is 20 short stories, so about 10-15 pages each, it's like fast forwarding the boring bits

Fuck. A flick through the book.

lololol

I'm afraid I'll have to take your first answer...

at last,an amusing guess what the cashier did tale.

bless i wonder if she used sanitising hand gel after touching the filthy dirrrrrty book

lol at flick!!

Ones of my colleagues does the cats bum mouth when she has to serve anyone buying condoms, boxes of KY jelly, Durex Play massages oil,the durex play stuff or the vibrating rings. Am tempted to buy the whole lot myself just to see what she says

Actually, having a look at the story titles is quite funny.
I mean, 'The Lady and the Highwayman' ok, bit Lady Chatterley but I can see where they are going, but 'Who's Been wearing Aunt Clarissa's Panties'?!?

I don't think I want to read that....

mercy,what a double entendre "does cats bums mouth"

dirrrrrrrrty

not to mention KY jelly,lube,vibrating rings

hell where is this fetishist supermarket.i struggle to find basics let alone a plethora of hanky panky items

I coudl almost see the thought bubbles.

But she looks so normal! She can't be one of those porn people!! She has a child!

I'm sorry, I need to know about Aunt Clarissa's panties. Who was wearing them?

Brilliant! DH and I are pissing ourselves laughing, (especially at the flicking), thank you!

If she's anything like my Grandma was, she'll pronounce it, "prawn", as in, "now you've bought a video machine, don't be letting the children watch those Prawn Films I've read about"