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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being too pushy?

70 replies

AnneLisaLane · 08/06/2009 13:20

My eldest daughter is 9 years old and loves playing with her hair. She has started saying that she wants to be a hairdresser when she grows up. She is a bright girl and I aim to give her the best start in life possible. I would love her to become a doctor. When she says she wants to be a hairdresser I try to put her off the idea by suggesting that being a doctor would be much more fun. My husband thinks that I shouldn't be pushing our daughter at such a young age. Am I wrong to think that it is better to guide our children as early as possible in order to give them the best chances in life?

OP posts:

MadameDefarge · 08/06/2009 20:37

I think being a hamster would be an amazing job.

janeite · 08/06/2009 20:43

Is anybody else remembering that advert years ago that had a little boy saying, 'I want to be a slug.'?

My dds have claimed to want to be a variety of things including:
an archaelogist
a fashion designer
a forensic artist
a writer
an artist
a chef
a 'shop lady'
Gillian McKeith (????????!!!!!)
an icecream man

They will be what they want to be and I will be happy for them if they are happy - that is all we can/should want or expect.

MadameDefarge · 08/06/2009 20:45

I've changed my mind. I want to be Gillian an Ice Cream Man.

Sycamoretreeisvile · 08/06/2009 21:37

I want to be Postman Pat.

violethill · 08/06/2009 21:41

I would like to think this is a troll, but having met some truly dreadful mothers who project all their own aspirations onto their children... you could possibly be real!

It's simple:

Go and train as a doctor yourself.

Let your children do what they want.

Not a problem. Unless, of course, you haven't got the balls to get off your backside and live your own life.

ChippingIn · 08/06/2009 21:48

Do trolls require hairdressers or is she aiming to be a hairdresser to the humans??

If you are genuine, which I hope to god you're not, then you need to really look at how you are raising your daughter. Do you actually realise she is her own person and not a mini you? The very least you can learn to do is say 'That's lovely dear'

MadameDefarge · 08/06/2009 21:48

hm, what about the haircut sycamore, is it compulsory?

Sycamoretreeisvile · 08/06/2009 21:55

Well, that all depends if your happy to slum it on a morning round or if you want to step up with the big boys at SDS, Madame....

I know which route I'D be choosing...

Wigglesworth · 08/06/2009 21:59

Erm I really hope this is a piss take. If it isn't I have a story for you. My DH's Mum tried to push him into being a doctor from a young age, his grandpa died when DH was 11 and it was his dying wish to see his DGS become a doctor and obviously his Mum had to fulfill this wacko dream . His Grandpa had put money aside for him to go to a posh private school, even though my DH's Dad didn't agree with the whole thing, he went to the school.
He kept telling her that he wasn't clever enough but she insisted he apply for medicine at Uni telling him "not to sell himself short", even though he was convinced he wouldn't get the grades. He used all his first Uni choices on medicine, like his Mum advised him to and reserved one for Biochem. Well surprise surprise he didn't get the grades needed for meds and ended up at his last choice.
The whole thing, the private school, the forced Uni choice everything has left my DH very bitter and resentful towards his Mum, he still loves her but this has caused no end of shit and almost caused the break up of his parents marriage. DH's Mum and her parents were both so pushy it ruined an entire families realtionship and it has only just started to get back on track so be warned OP.

janeite · 08/06/2009 22:00

Troll after haircut here

Troll before haircut here

MadameDefarge · 08/06/2009 22:04

can I not be Fireman Sam instead? He's got that lovely little curl of hair at the front.

Ineedsomesleep · 08/06/2009 22:22

If you are asking the question, you are looking for reassurance and you ain't going to get it on here. Leave the poor kid alone.

mumeeee · 08/06/2009 22:52

YABU And to pushy. She is only 9 and will probably change her mind several times over the next few years. Yes we should guide our children but only to support them in thier choice. Being a hairdresser is fine.

JonAndHate · 09/06/2009 21:54

Focus on the happiness bit. Her happiness. Not the money or status. These things might have made a positive difference in your life but I guess so would being happy, content, fulfilled and supported in whatever it was you chose to do.

Whether it means being a poorly paid hairdresser, a salon owner or a businesswoman.

Unless you're Xenia obviously. And I doubt she would push her DC into something they don't want to be/do.

FairLadyRantALot · 09/06/2009 22:00

yabu wanting to push your daughter into a doctor career....
yanbu wanting the best for yur daughter...

however, only she can decide....the thing you can do is give her the opprtunity to explore herself, the world and her environment....

julesrose · 09/06/2009 22:25

FYI being a doctor isn't actually 'fun'....

warthog · 09/06/2009 22:31

you want her to fulfill your dreams. your attitude stinks imo.

i have wanted to be:
a geologist
physiotherapist
pathologist
chartered accountant

and my mum told me i couldn't be any of those. what a damn shame.

Portofino · 09/06/2009 22:43

I wanted to be a Travel Agent. I had a place on a BTEC travel and tourism course and did some work experience. Aparently this wasn't good enough for my parents as I was good at languages (handy for tourism eh?) so i should be working at the Foreign Office! They turned down my college place and I was pretty much forced to do A'levels instead.

The rest of my education was uninspirational. I'm reasonably bright and have always worked hard, so I ended up with a career. I always feel slightly pissed off though that probably i would have worked my way up and be running some luxury holiday company by now. That is STILL my main interest!

suwoo · 10/06/2009 07:40

Portofino, I wanted to be a travel agent and I did that Travel & Tourism BTEC in 1993-94 I think. It was brilliant- I loved every minute of it. I worked at Thomas Cook for 2 years after that, but the money was so poor. I got lured away to a sales job for double the salary and company car at 19.

Was great fun though.

Nahui · 10/06/2009 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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