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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find this noise embarrassing??

58 replies

footinmouth · 06/06/2009 20:34

Have name-changed..

To cut a long story short, I met someone, about 2 months ago. We have met up on several occasions, he's absolutely lovely and we get on so well etc etc

However, I met up with him last night and we went out for dinner etc. When we got back, one thing led to another, which was fine by me. The thing is, when we started, he started making these funny wheezing noises . As I was on top I thought it might have been me. We tried other positions but he was still making this wheezing noise, very loudly.

I'm just wondering whether this type of thing is normal, perhaps just him getting excited?? I have to be honest, it did put me off a bit, even though maybe it shouldn't have. He isn't asthmatic or anything so not sure why he was making this noise.

He really is lovely and I know it's a small thing compared to the other lovely things about him

OP posts:

macdoodle · 07/06/2009 00:08

OMG am LMAO and nearly choked on my percy pigs
My DP is a very quiet lover, I love it when he does make some noises, there not wheezy ones though

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 00:26

I know macdoodle, it sounds funny but it's quite mortifying for me. He's a lovely bloke but I'm dreading seeing him on tuesday for 'round 2' as he put it. The more I think about it, the more it puts me off. I've never heard a noise quite like it, apart from in horror films

OP posts:

hopefull09 · 07/06/2009 01:38

I dont get what the noise is,, is he breathing heavy and wheezing, did he need to cough and clear his throat , or is it coming from his nose?

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 07/06/2009 01:56

LOL@ mugglewump!

I also thought it would be fanny farts!

How awful for you foot...what will you do?

lilysmummy2007 · 07/06/2009 06:27

ROFPMSL!!!!! you ladies are a real hand full, steam trains and quacking. really!! foot, have to thought about asking him if he is awre of the sound?? my ex used to make a kinda snorting noise whenever he came and it put me off so much i asked him and he wasn't even aware it was as loud as it was, men think with their willys when having sex, and are so focused on the action that phase out everything else. still, i cant stop laughing and i too thought it was about the myth of the fanny fart. speaking of fanny fart does it sound like a normal fart???

chefswife · 07/06/2009 06:44

fanny farts sound a little more sloppy. (reading that back that sounds awful)
anyhow...
i broke up with a guy because his adam's apple moved around so much when he talked i couldn't even look at him. the thing was its own entity. DH used to make the noise that came from the back of his throat. and it was something that developed about 10 years into our relationship. it drove me mad. i would loose it and yell at him. one day he just stopped.

if he does it tuesday, ask him about it. be candid. then come back and tell us because i am curious what he says

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 08:00

hopefull09 - It's definately coming from his mouth but we tried other positions and it didn't make a difference

SoloisMG - I'm not sure what I'll do. I will still meet him on Tuesday as he lives a long way away and has changed his work committments etc to come and see me.

LM2007 - Nope it doesn't sound like a normal fart, it sounds like a kind of smirking/wheezing noise. And it's very loud. It doesn't sound healthy at all and as someone pointed out, I think he is completely unaware

OP posts:

hopefull09 · 07/06/2009 12:58

Perhaps hes heavy breathing and needs to clear his throat.My ex did this and he used to have to be told to cough / clear his throat.Think it was phlem or something equally disgusting .Sounded a bit like death rattle.
What about when your kissing him, is the noise still there or does it then come from his nose instead?
Sounds like a breathing , phlemmy type issue , does he snore?

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/06/2009 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bronze · 07/06/2009 13:07

ask him if he has asthma and when he asks why tell him he was wheezing

hopefull09 · 07/06/2009 13:14

Hehe at does he have a decent sex face .My ex used to look scared and at climax truly terrified, he used to shout into my ear so loud that my ears used ro ring.
The wheezing, rattling , ( awake snoring i used to call it ) shouting was like an audio assault instead of a nice shag.

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 14:07

hopefull09 - When I am kissing him, he doesn't make a noise at all but yes, he snores and very loudly. To be honest, I would rather put up with the snoring noise than the alternative.

shineoncrazydiamond - I can see why you're struggling to 'hear' the noise, it really is non-descript

Bronze - No, he doesn't have asthma but is diabetic

(NB: am not linking the wheezing noise with being diabetic)

OP posts:

kitkatqueen · 07/06/2009 14:14

Curiousmama - just sprayed tea at gagging him PMSL

bronze · 07/06/2009 14:58

footinmouth wasnt suggesting he did more using it as an opening for mentioning it

hester · 07/06/2009 15:02

Can you learn to love it, do you think?

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 15:03

No, hester, as awful as it sounds, I don't think I could The more I think about it the more it puts me off.

I guess I can't have it all though

OP posts:

hester · 07/06/2009 15:05

Oh dear. Well, don't dump him before you've given him the chance to change. Poor bloke may be unwittingly alienating dozens of hot dates without realising why...

Time for the 'telling your friend she has BO' conversation, I'm afraid.

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 15:06

Yeah, I see what you mean bronze and the nb at the bottom wasn't aimed at you. Perhaps if it happens again, I could broach the subject. He's told me that he's not asthmatic but perhaps he needs to have a check up

OP posts:

hopefull09 · 07/06/2009 15:07

It sounds like it might be connected to the snoring. My ex,s snoring was so bad i made him go to the docs, and there was something wrong up his nose , cant remember the word, but it meant that he was unable to breathe through one nostril as it was very narrow inside, further up..
Also there was something wrong in his throat, in that excess tissue had grown causing his airways to be very narrow , hence the wheezing and snoring.He needed an op.

You could perhaps gently ask him if he realises his snoring is so severe , and point out the wheezing saying a freinds partner had this and its possibly a medical issue.

When hes snoring, is it cosistent, or does he stop breifly before doing a massive snort?
If so he could have sleep apnoa? where they breifly stop breathing.
The snoring drove me insane, but i could tell he was struggling to breathe as his chest / shoulders would heave with each snore.
Feel for you, i couldnt stand a snorer again, it honestly ruined my life for a while.

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 15:12

Well, I was going to go along the lines of asking him whether he's sure he's not asthmatic. We had this convo before we were intimate and he hasn't smoked now for years. What if he doesn't get the hint though Hester, I wouldn't be able to just come straight out with it.

OP posts:

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 15:20

Thanks hopefull09 - he does snore alot but it's not interrupted snoring. Ironically, he asked whether I minded him snoring. I wanted to say 'no, but I minded the wheezing'

OP posts:

wotulookinat · 07/06/2009 15:23

Tell him - maybe he thinks it is a sexy noise!!
I was once with a guy who made the strangest noises during sex. It was like a lamb being stranged. We split up after that.

knockedgymnast · 07/06/2009 15:59

LOL @ a lamb being strangled

Original poster

footinmouth · 07/06/2009 16:03

haha Wotulookinat - I think that if it inevitably happens again, I'll keep asking him if he's ok. Thing is, I want to avoid sleeping with him now as just the thought of the noise makes me feel not good!

OP posts:

Jux · 07/06/2009 16:09

Maybe he always used to make a big noise and some ex laughed or asked him to stop, and the wheeze is him trying not to be loud. You could ask him to shout if he wants to.....?

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