already know I am a bit, but want to know what the schoolyard mums are thinking...

[clemette]

I have made a career decision which is essentially a very selfish one. I am happy with it, DH is supportive, and my friends are positive, but I would like to know what other mums feel about it, so I can be prepared for whatever is said to my face (or behind my back) by those I might meet in the future (DD due to start full-time school in January)...

I have two children, DD is 4 and DS is 16 months. With DD I worked fulltime as a teacher and have since gone down to 4 days a week. I enjoy work, earn a good wage and my children are happy at nursery. I have decided, however, to give up work to go back to university full-time to do a medical degree. This is my childhood dream and it has taken a great deal of work to get onto the course. But it does mean I will be away from my children full-time durin the week (and in 2 years I won't get the school holidays off) without bringing any money into the house.

So - will I attract more negative judgements than I do already as a WOHM? Can such selfishness ever be justifiable to mums that I don't know well?

Have you actually been accepted onto a medical degree?
if so , CONGRATULATIONS!

Just one word of warning.

I did dentistry as a mature student.

Every single person I knew who started the degree, married, was divorced by the end of the degree , including me.

good luck!
if anyone is negative they are probably envious.

Clemette- Im in the final year of my nusing degree (3 years)- also attended college for two years previous to that.
My children are 8 and 5 so the other mums at the school have only ever known me studying.

On top of the studying I have had placements (fairly hideous shifts) and hd to work part time on top of it all in order to fund my way through the degree.

Im very rarely at the school gates, most days the boys have to go to before and afterschool club.
I have to say that on the odd days that Iam at the gates at 'normal' time- I get nothing but genuine admiration and pretty 'head-swelling' comments. Nobody (to my knowledge) has ever made any negative comments- They are all very kind and interested in my course.

Good luck!

Oh good lord, just read properly, you are still at home in the evenings then! I thought you meant away all week too. That is TOTALLY not unreasonable and anyone who says it is (like your MIL) is an imbecile IMO. I am a full time student and also squish in a part time job. Parents at the school we left were all the SAHM sort, and would often ask how I managed, but I actually quite liked the idea that they would challenge my decision to do this, because it has been so positive I would love the chance to assert that!

policywonk as ever in these sort of scenarios they asked someone else to ask me - I was not to attend an event because it was for those parents who "put their children first". Hmm

really? Farking hell, what bitches.

jasper I have indeed been accepted. I start Graduate Entry Medicine in September. Thanks for the heads up about the divorce - I suspect the success of my marriage actually lies in rarely spending too much time together so I hope that works in our favour.

tiredemma good luck in your finals. Do you feel like you have reached the summit of a mountain? Has it all been worth it?

I dont think what you are propsing is selfish. Its also possible that the degree wont be quite as 'full time' as you are expecting. You will probably be able to pick up or drop off at school sometimes.

I dont think what you are propsing is selfish. Its also possible that the degree wont be quite as 'full time' as you are expecting. You will probably be able to pick up or drop off at school sometimes.

You can see why I am a bit wary...

Go for it. And good luck to you. A friend with a 3 1/2 year old and a 2 year old has just spent the last year doing an access course so she can train to be a nurse and I'm so proud of her for having the balls to do it. And she's enjoying the opportunity to do something fulfilling with her life.

Follow your dream - it's a tough choice but hell do you want to get to your death bed and say ' i really wish i'd gone for it back in 2010....'

Clemette- its all abit surreal to be honest, I have reached the summit- but im well aware that I have literally crawled my way to it!

Im very proud of what I have achieved, its been a long hard slog and my whole family have had to make sacrifices - but its worth it, I have got a job in an area of nursing that I had longed to work.

I wish you all the best x

clemette that is wonderful.
SUCH a competitive course to get into.

DIvorce notwithstanding , My degree as a mature student is the best thing I ever did.

Good luck.
This is an adventure you will never regret

Interesting that your MIL is the one who has been negative - it's definitely the older generation that I have felt negativity from -rather than other mums. My own mum was horrified!

Now, AIBU to be getting mostly excited about buying new stationary and a new bag in September...?

Thanks again everyone. It has reassured me that the vast majority of the world is non-judgemental.

not in the least judgemental!!!

How could anyone fail to admire you?

unless of course they were eaten up with envy.
Congrats on your noteworthy achievement

Only just seen the thread. Clemette... I think it's fantastic, and please don't concern yourself what the schoolyard mums think. I discovered a long time ago to drop off and pick up at the very last minute to avoid the relentless gossip.

If they do gossip it will most likely be due to jealousy. Anyone who matters will find you an inspiration and be there to support you all the way.

Marriage is about support and respect and you have to pull together to do what is best for your family...

Good luck

Acinonyx, I suppose my MiL's worry is that her grandchildren will be financially insecure with the debt I will be required to take on (not keen on having DH support me financially - then we would get divorced if I had to ask him for an allowance!)

She was a teacher until retirement and ended up viewing schoolchildren as the enemy. She can't understand why I would leave a job I (mostly) enjoy precisely because I don't want to get that jaded.

To be honest though, she is one of the world's most unreasonable and controlling women anyway, so we expected no other response.

Haha not unreasonable at all re the stationary! I get excited every semester about buying my books and organising folders and stuff,

who cares what MIL thinks!
Is she a doctor?
Thought not

I have nothing but admiration for you clemette! You go for it!!

Plonk- I voted green- and I promise not to hold you responsible for the rise of fascism in Europe

I have 2 kids and am just finishing my second year of a 4 year graduate medicine course! Just wanted to reassure you...I have not had ANY negative comments, all have been completely supportive and embarrassingly admiring .

It is brilliant fun, though you will be constantly phoned by neighnours/family asking for medical advice!

Best of luck

They will assume you EVERYTHING about the human body, child development and all illnesses. You will be constantly in demand to diagnose little X's runny nose, and Y's scraped knee. You must tell them you're doing English Lit.

Oh, anotherstudent where are you doing it? How's it been?

Wow!! - I am envious of you and I am already a doctor! Would love to do the whole course again but with the knowledge about life I now have under my belt - I would have appreciated and gained from the whole thing so much more. It will make you a fantastic doctor. It will be seriously hard work, but rewarding too in so many ways. Has it always been a dream for you? What has drawn you to make this decision?