to ask people whose mother worked when you were young, how you felt about it?

[groogle]

I'm really interested in this, as my Mum was a SAHM all her life. I'm going to be working FT soon (DD will be 18 months), and I anticipate that this might be the case for a large part of my life, although I am lucky enough to have some flexibility. So, I wondered, if there are Mumsnetters out there whose Mum's worked FT from a young age, or close to, how did it feel, and what do you remember about it? I hope this hasn't been done before (or at least recently) - I did a search and couldn't find anything.

Mine went to college when I was about 10. She started working around this time early in the mornings, to try and fund her place to study.

I remember a desolate house, my father already out to work and my sister annoyed with me in a typical teenage way.

It was bloody miserable.

There was just no sense of friendliness or love in the house. I don't think thatw as because she went to work, but because of other issues probably that were already there.
But it kind of signalled the end of the family unit, for me. Not that she would have been able to maintain it anyway, my sister eventually ran away...I was lonely way before mum went out doing her own thing though. But I did feel that she was sick of being a SAHM and desperate to get away from us and do something else - when she started college she almost turned into an excited child again, which was really embarrassing.

Pavlov

My Mum went back to full time work when I was 6 weeks old. (my Dad was still living with us at the time but apparently drank his wage)

Looking back I was a bit ambivalent about it, all my friends' mums didn't work, were always down at school helping out, making fantastic easter bonnets and the like, while my Mum would cobble together something at midnight. At the same time, as I went to my Gran's both before and after school I enjoyed being spoiled by them, and frequently wanted to stay there instead of going home at 6 when my Mum came back.

I now know what a huge sacrifice my Mother made, she worked her way up the career ladder, intially because she needed the money. We had a coal fire and she had to get up at 5 to wash out terry nappies before dropping me off at my Gran's for the next 12 hrs.

Very proud of her.

My mother worked full time from when I was five and my brother three. It was in education, so she had holidays off, which I think was a big help. I have very positive memories of it all.

Yes, sometimes it was mildly annoying to have to go to the childminder after school (although it was a friend's mum, which made it better) whilst I was in primary school, but no biggy. Plus, far more children would be doing that now. From senior school onwards, I was trusted to go straight home.

It did me no harm at all and I never felt deprived. I hope that I can find a working pattern that leaves my children feeling as positive in the future...

Bucharest - I was/am proud of what my mum did, as an adult, and luckily before she died I had a chance to thank her for sacrificing her own life to ensure I had a good one, which for the most part I did as I grew older due to her own determination and hard work in desperate circumstances. But as a child. I found it very hard her not being there when I needed her. I think it was also hard because as mum did not want to be doing it either. She wanted to be home with us. But she could not. And I knew that. I knew it was not a career choice for her, not until I was much older.

Nationalflight - similar to me then, family environment plus the working mum, made for a lonely time. I think, if mum wanted to work, and we reaped rewards and benefits (not just financially, but in terms of family happiness) which were visible as a child, rather than surviving it might have been a completely different experience.

I am now a working mum myself, but I ensure I am able to take DD to nursery when she goes (starts again in Sept) and pick her up, and we will make sure either DH or I can take her to school, or pick her up. I have another one on the way, and will cut my hours down further when this one arrives, to ensure I can be there for them both, but I also believe working can bring positivity to the family, if the balance is right.

Hated it at first (she went back full time when I was 9 so it was a big disruption) but liked it later on and am very proud of what she achieved.
Just asked dh the same question because his mum worked from when he was tiny, and he said 'I didn't have any feelings about it - it was a fact of life.'

Mum worked form when youngest sib started school, I was then 11. I wished she'd started sooner as she became much nicer when she worked, less moaning about messy bedrooms and getting worked up about minor stuff. She worked in a school though so was home not long after us and there for the holidays which was great.

My mum didn't work until I was around 10 years old, and was then part time and term time only. She had very traditional views and felt she had to be around as much as possible, so took a series of fairly low status jobs. TBH I think she would have been more fulfilled by something more challenging - she's a clever woman and was basically under-employed for most of her working life. She didn't show any resentment outwardly, and never talked about having 'sacrificed' herself for us kids, but I think she probably felt that under the surface. I remember wondering why it was always my dad's career that was so important, and why my mum seemed to defer to him for major decisions etc - I was definitely conscious that my mum was easily as clever as he was.

Sometimes she'd be working until 5 or so, or the occasional day in the school holidays, and my siblings and I were looked after by someone when we were younger, or came home by ourselves as we got older - I remember loving that feeling of independence! It was a real treat to have the house to ourselves for an hour!

My Mum worked f/t from when I was 2yo (financial necessity as much as anything else). I don't feel like I suffered as a result.

Interestingly, I went back to p/t work when DD started school (aged 4y 1m). She is now almost 7 and I'm still working p/t (in same job). I work p/t because I can, financially we do not need me to earn a f/t salary. It has nothing conscious to do with being raised by a f/t wohm. I saw/still see her as a positive female role model.

My mum worked full time from when I was a baby until my twin brothers were born. Until I was 2 we lived with her mother, my Nanny. Nanny had me during the week when we moved in to our place so really spent more time with her than my parents. As a result I had a very close relationship with her.
I turned out okay more or less. I remember being quite lonely but it was more about there not being many kids my age around. Mum & Dad did try to send me to nursery when I was 3, but I only last a couple of weeks before I became seriously ill with Whooping cough - and it was several months before I was well enough to attend and in that time it closed
But I do remember Nanny taking me off to lots of places to see her sisters and my aunts and uncles.
Nanny died 12 years ago and still miss her so much

My Mum always worked full time and I truly hated it.
She was all about work, a live to work sort and I resented it then and still do, even though she died almost 8 years ago.

I loved it when she was ill as she'd be there when I came home from school.

I had a lot in monetary terms, from trips out to foreign holidays and meals and toys but all I wanted was my Mum.

I see now as an adult that it wasn't the working that was the problem, it was that her focus was on work and it came first. She didn't want to be my friend and that hurt. As a teen I learned quickly that I'd get whatever I wanted so long as it wasn't time so I demanded designer clothes and spending money and was quite vile. I also totally rebelled which was my immature way of trying to get her to see me, instead of her job.
I'llk never forgive her for it and I actually think she was a terrible mother, not for the working, but because she made it clear it came before me.

With DD I've done the opposite and lived on benefits so I could be at home.
I want to work now, I need the money and I need something out of the house but DD will always be my priority.

My mum was a teacher in the days before teaching involved loads of paperwork - so worked from about 8.45 - 3.30 each day. She returned to work when my brother was 4 and I was 6.

I can recall in Junior school I had a friend who went home for lunch and I wished I could too but when I mentioned this to my mum she explained about the extra money we had for holidays etc. Other than that I don't think that it affected me much as her working was pretty much the same hours as my school (The same pattern which I now do myself).

One thing I do recall was that in my friends' homes where the mother didn't work or only worked a few hours that their fathers didn't do a thing around the house, whereas my father who was also a teacher always did the washing up when mum cooked, and this was quite unusual in these days (amongst my peers anyway).

My mum worked FT as a teacher once I started nursery at 3 years old. I never considered it anything other than normal, never felt hard done by etc.

That said, both parents were always around for school hols and we ate together every night at 5.30pm (good old fashioned northern tea time!)

Unfortunately I am not in that position with my dc's as I work until 6.30pm every day and am not around in the hols, though DH is now sahp, which is a real luxury.

My mum was a SAHM most of the time but did odd P/T jobs very occasionally when things were a bit tight.I absolutely hated it if she wasn't there when i came home from school.Even at secondary school I felt like that probably til I was about 14 or 15.I can remember at primary i found it very reassuring when I was at school to think of my mum being at home.

My mom was a television weather gal-I got to sit in on a lot of shows-Romper Room, Bozo the Clown, etc.-hang around the station-I pretty much loved it!

I remember my childhood as happy. Made up of a mix of different things. Mum happened to work FT for some of it, but I haven't got specific memories related to that, nothing particularly good or bad. It was just how things were. I didn't dwell on it then and I'm not going to analyse it now.

My mum didn't work again until I was 5 or 6 and then worked evenings! So we'd have tea as a family when dad got in but mum would go about 6 ish! Sometimes I didn't mind at all and my DB and dad would have a laugh but sometimes if dad was tired or grumpy and clearly willing us to settle at bedtime I missed her and wished she worked in the day!

When I was at secondary school she worked in the day and would be home at 5 ish and I like us having tea together then too and chatting as a family something Im eager to keep going myself.