To not want to lose weight for someone else's wedding?

[shootfromthehip]

My brother is getting married next month and he is very shallow about appearances. He is a gym freak and is unarguably in very good physical same. Added to this he has put his bride-to-be on a crazy fitness/ diet regime which is fine if she is daft enough to do it (she is a beautiful girl but is carrying a little bit of extra weight).

2 weeks ago he told me that I still had 6 weeks 'til his wedding, plenty of time to go on a diet .

Now I am 5ft 10, 11 stone 4lbs (the weight I was the day I got married 9 yrs ago) and a size 12 on the bottom 14/16 on top (I have big boobs). I AM NOT fat. I put on 5 1/2 stone (in total) during my first pregnancy anf then 3 1/2 stone in my second pregnancy and although it has taken 5 yrs, I have lost all the weight. I repeat, I am not fat but a little saggy and I do have a little tummy (which no one will see under my very flattering dress).

So, AIBU in not wanting to lose any weight or should I be trying to get in to better shape (which no amount of sit-ups seem to manage ) for his wedding?

Sorry but this has bugged me since he said it and the more I think about it, the more I waver in my outraged conviction that I don't need to lose weight.

AIBU?

Your brother is an arse (which, if you are being nice, you can just put down to pre-wedding nerves)

A friend of mine once said to another friend whilst she was eating an ice-cream "how is the wedding diet going? No-one likes a fat bride"
This girl has never been even slightly overweight in her life. Some people are idiots.

Tell your brother you can't possible lose weight as the boob tube and mini-skirt that you are planning to wear to his wedding look much better on curves....

Of course you don't need to lose weight. Because you are obviously not fat.

Is he being serious do you think? Because if so I would be somewhat worried about him and his values, and as others have said, worried for his wife, especially once she starts having kids...

Can you have a quiet word with him?

Thanks one and all- my brother is indeed a cock and I have had it confirmed on MN .

He is obsessive about exercise and is imposing his stupidity on his wife. She used to be a model though and is a shallow as him when it comes to looks.

I am happy in my slightly saggy skin- I looked really rough for a couple of years and am just glad to had 'my' body back after the kids so am a bit touchy about my weight. I did think that he was a twunt but needed to hear that IANBU. Cheers

Love the fat suits by the way !!!

Katisha I KNOW he is being serious- unfortunately he thinks that all women should be stick thin to fulfill their physical potential. I've never been skinny skinny but did go down to 10 stone 10lbs last year and it really didn't suit me. I happy put the 1/2 stone back on because I knew I looked better with it than without it.

It is going to be a beach wedding in the US so there will be lots of stick thin people there but I really don't care about how they look, am more concerned about enjoying myself.

I too hat the whole losing weight for a wedding thing- didn't do it myself and feel like banging my head off a wall as even my mother has bought an outfit that is currently a size too small to slim in to for his wedding. Madness IMO.

Stick to your guns. They are all barking.

I am nearly 5'10" and find anything under 11 st pretty much impossible to maintain.

(Am nowhere near 11st at the moment though, sigh...)

YANBU - tell him that you can't buy him a wedding gift as you are spending the money on joining weightwatchers as per his request. Then eat what you like and go to his wedding looking fabulous just as you are and treat yourself afterwards with the money you were going to spend on their gift to a girly night out.

What a rude pig.

tell him he's a groomzilla

and warn his finacee she is amrrying an arse

poor poor woman, wot will happen when she has kids and everything goes south

Dieting for weddings is a stupid idea. It's not as though you spend hours looking at your own or someone else's wedding photos more than a week or so after you get the photos anyway. The number of silly stories there are about women buying dresses to small for them in the hope that they'll fit them is daft. Wedding shops don't help by taking forever to order in dresses. Your weight sounds fine to me. If your brother says anything again I'd get angry with him and tell him to stop being horrible or he knows where he can stuff his "stick people only" wedding.

Agree with wearing an enormous hat. And moon the photographer too.

He's a plonker.

Could you sabotage the bride's enforced dietary regime by inviting her for girly meals out and making her eat pie and chips and icecream

If you are fat so am I As I am more or less the same height and weight.

Are they having salad and fresh fruit for the Wedding Breakfast!

I would love to be your weight! The Cheeky brother!!!

YABU

For the Bridget Jones-esque post 'here are my vitat stats, I'm tall, slim and shapely. Do you think I'm faaaaaat?'

Of course everybody was going to say how slim you are, it's a silly AIBU.

Was your brother joking? Sounds like he must have been.

If he says anything else, laugh and say 'you're so funny! Diet, ha ha ha!' Treat it as the ludicrous suggestion it is. Don't waste energy getting angry or snapping back.

Was he joking? TBH this is the sort of thing my brother would come out with. Not that he's malicious, he's just a twonk. I then have to explain to him why he can't go around saying things like that! Social graces he ain't got em...

Siblings are great aren't they

If he says it again simply tell him to f off in a sisterly manner!

I did ask my brother if he was going to lose weight for his wedding, but I was joking. And he didn't (in my defence, he had put on a lot of weight).

Well I am no stranger to this. My ex MIL and SIL wanted me to be a bridesmaid for SIL1 wedding. They got me a dress in a size 12, at 3 months pregnant I was unable to fit in it and they said well there is a month or two to go you can easily lose the weight. Yes obviously I will be much thinner at 5 months pregnant if I make a bit of effort .

Sunfleurs that's terrible! OP, I'm 5ft10 and I'd love to weigh what you do... It's about what I weighed when I got married too.

He needs a slap, the fiancee needs to be warned and get one of those suits from gagamama! . Imagine the look on his face!

I think your weight is irrelevant really. Whatever size/ shape etc you are it's none of his business and he is being rude. Unless he is joking, in which case he is being annoying. Either way - ignore him.

I used to be a bit overweight and had to endure 'fat jibes' from family. Guess what? I eventually developed an eating disorder. My BIL is a runner (marathons etc) and is also very health/weight/fitness concious (sp) I was informed by my Sister the other day that he can't stand fat people and thinks they shouldn't be allowed out in public. What is it with these people?

Ha ha!! I love 'groomzilla'!!

Your BMI is 22.72 - if he mentions it again, tell him this.

I do pity his wife to be. When you get pg/bf, you gain weight, bits sag and you are tired - is he just going to belittle her and tell her to diet the whole time if this happens to her? Also, people get old, people get ill etc...will he just get rid of her?

MummyPengiun my brother used to have a girlfriend who said things like your sister. She also made piggy grunts if my brother (another marathon runner so well within his limits) took a second helping at dinner. Some people just look no further than the physical I think, and are very happy to judge.

You're exactly the right weight for your height. If he starts, just say, "I'm not overweight" and close the subject.

I do think he's a cock, tbh, and feel a bit sorry for the bride...

YANBU I am