To force dd1 to join playscheme 3 days a week, during the summer holidays?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

She is adamant that she wants to stay at home.

My house is a mess after half term, dd1 is very 'high maintenance' I cannot cope with 6 solid weeeks.

I have told her that she must join playscheme, Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

The lazy moo just 'wants to stay at home and play on the DS'

Sorry cat64 - missed that bit.

I think once or twice a week maybe, wit them lots of fun active stuff with yourself and DD2 and/or maybe a friend every so often, would be a good bet.

Let her join a Summer Day Camp (for a few hours a day). They are terrific fun for the kids. I think Camp Beaumont have several play centres around the country.

imho 5 is too young to be compelled to do 3 days a week every week of the holidays, as an optional extra especially if she doesn't want to. By all means enrol her on a swimming course or for a single activity club like drama or trampolining to give you the odd hour or morning break and her some opportunity to vent her energy but she needs to have a choice. Does she have any friends you coudl reciprocate playdates with , she might respond well to company her own age and you get to have time while she goes to her friend.

I don't know whether you're being unreasonable or not. Because I don't know you, or either of your children.

But just from my own experience, the summer holiday can be a great time for a hyper child to have the chance to chill out. It takes DD1 at least a week to get school out of her system. But after that, her relationship with her sister improves no end and they re-learn how to play together. If she doesn't go to the playscheme, you might find that the long summer is just what they both need, to get out of the frantic always-going-somewhere routine and discover how to play together. Let her be lazy for a bit, get off her case, and see what happens?

Message withdrawn

What are the hours of the playscheme? Big difference between 8am-6pm and 9am to 3pm, IYSWIM.

Having read all of OP's messages, I would think 2 part days/week would be reasonable (so something like 9am-3pm on 2 midweek days).

Our summer hols this year are supposed to be 7 weeks, btw, is that not the case elsewhere? Stopping 19 July and starting again 7 Sept (says the rumour mill).

Well DS1 will probably be going to the kids club at his school one day a week during the holidays and i'm a SAHM.

However he has actively asked to go and i have one younger DC and another due at the end of July so i think one day a week will work well for all of us.

Could you start on one day and see how it goes?

I see where the OP is coming from, my ds1 can be very hard to be around for that length of time all the time, and a break is a good thing for us both.

YABU. She is 5. She sounds like a fairly typical bored 5 year old who is desperate for a bit more attention and I don't think sending her somewhere she doesn't want to be will help that. Forget the chores and the cleaning and try and make a rough plan of what you will do every day. Loads of playdates, do some baking, stick them outside with bubble mix, finger paints - there is so much stuff to do with them that doesn't cost the earth. I guess though that that's not what you want to hear but from the posts you have made, you sound as if you have a difficult relationship with her and I honestly don't think that a playscheme will help to improve that.

My DD went to a school holiday club (not her school but locally) - she wasnt too impressed at first at going, but when she ound out a couple of her friends were going, she liked it. She would prefer to stay at home with me, but when I am at work she has no option. They can go for half a day or a full day, so I try to pick her up by 4pm. She is going for 10 days this summer over three weeks.

Once they have been then it is ok - probably jsut the fear of the unknown. Cant she jsut go for one day the first week, two the second and then 3 the next week, so it is not too daunting at first.

'She is not happy to laze around in front of the tv, which is the impression you give of your dd. So which is it? Lazy or hyper?'

Franks best friend, she says she will watch tv, but as soon as my back is turned she is upto mischeif because she is bored.

This thread is a bit irrelevant now anyway. She admitted she did not want to go to Playscheme because I had told her that she could start swimming lessons and she didn't want to miss any. Swimming lessons are now booked for Saturday mornings and are not on over the holidays anyhow. So since she can't do swimming lessons over the holidays she will do playscheme.

And the other four days can be spent worry free at the beach, which she loved today despite refusing to go in favour Hannah Montana.

I would suggest dropping the television- then she can't sit around in front of it all day.

What does she like doing?
Craft can just be old magazines/catalogues cut up and stuck onto card recycled from the inside of cereal boxes, or sticking pasta and rice onto sugar paper.

I used to hate playschemes when I was young- all I wanted to do was curl up on my bed and read- which I think is a perfectly valid pastime - but my parents were working so I had no choice.

She sounds as if she is craving your attention, and I'm sure she'd be hurt by you sending her 3 days a week.

wow - you have been flamed a lot

tbh i think 3 days every week is a lot for a 5yr who has just started school (and is prob knackered) and the fact you dont work so its not if you have no other choice but to send dd1- but 1 or 2 days would be okay

agree timing is a big thing 9 - 3 or all day 8-6 makes a huge difference

from the things you said about your eldest, ie unlocking door, throwing water over youngest face sounds to me you need to be a bit more tough with her - and i would ban ds for that kind of behaviour

maybe you could get dd1 to help you with chores such as take washing to machine, help make lunch - sounds to me she wants a bit of me time

i dont understand why you cant do crafts/go to beach/outings with both of them

arrange some play dates for school friends to come over and make sure you also get some in return

I think you are being incredibly harsh
she's a little girl.

Your list of things to describe her as high maintence is actually a list of what little children get up to when they are playing.

I rarely say it but stop your DD watching TV and playstation for a couple of weeks (and get yourself of mn for that time) and you'll see a massive improvement.

If she really is hyperactive the very worse thing she can do is ba a playstation

and tbh most 5 year olds shouldnt be on a playstation daily.

I agree with people who think you are being harsh tbh. She sounds like a normal five year old, who perhaps wants some attention. I think she might well feel that her sister is the favourite if she is packed off to playscheme whilst her sister stays with you.

Three days a week is a lot and she's only young. Could she maybe do one day a week, or three days within just one week or something? That way, you get some time without her if that's what you feel you need; she gets to interact with others of her age but that she doesn't feel she's been kicked out for a vast part of her school holiday.

YANBU IMO.

She will probably love the play scheme and make loads of friends and do loads of stuff. Playschemes are much more chilled than school and the kids learn a bit of independence. I know she is only little but a few days a week shouldnt be too much for her.

My older kids had to go to playschemes when they were 5+ because I worked. They loved it and turned into little hippies every summer.

To be OP, you OP does sound a little um... mean though. It comes across a little uncaring but reading on I think its clear (IMO) why you want your DD to go to playscheme. Some kids need more stimulation to keep them out of bother and thats hard going if you have other kids and stuff to do.

I dont think sending kids to playscheme = think kids are an inconvienence.

Most kids I know would choose to sit on their bums watching a screen if given the choice. Sometimes they need a kick up said bum and packed off to organised activities.

I'm just wondering if in fact her hyper/high maintenance, challenging behaviour is because she is feeling left out/ignored. Kids know that misbehaving is guaranteed to get a response from Mum, even if that response is being shouted at. Any response is better than being ignored.

I was quite struck by your post where you put 'as soon as my back is turned she is up to mischief'. Is it because she feels that your attention has gone away to the housework, DD2 in fact anything but her? I was just wondering if there was anyway that DD2 (and apologies if I've missed her age so that this suggestion is not appropriate) could be looked after by friends/family for a morning/afternoon during the week so that DD1 doesn't feel like she's the only one that's sent away.

The swimming lessons sound like a great idea though - hope the pool's warm. I have vivid memories of a freezing cold pool but then eating mint Club biscuits in the changing rooms afterwards! Is swimming a new activity that you could take up together - you know, so that she can practice and show you how clever she is with her new skills?

Holidays are supposed to be a break for the kids too. It's so unfair to pack them off for three days a week if you don't have to and they don't want to. Poor child, she's only 5.

It really makes me when I hear people say that they can't deal with the kids being at home on holiday.

YABU. Poor child; she's only 5 and wants to be with you.
So she's high maintenance - probably cos she's bored in the house. Get her outside to burn off some energy. There are loads of things you can do that don't cost anything/much.

I think YANBU and some of these replies are harsh.
A 5 year old child goes where they are told, in my book, my son gets no choice as to whether he goes to playschool or not, same as he gets no choice in bedtime, whether we go shopping or to the beach, or anything else. Because he's 5 and its my job to decide these things for him.
I only wish we had a subsidised playscheme he could got to during the summer, because he won't be getting arts and crafts and fun educational things like that at home.

She wants to sit inside and play the DS all day? If YOU are happy with that, fair enough. If YOU think she (and you) will be better off if she goes to playscheme, then send her there.

I can just picture my mother laughing hysterically at the idea that a 5 year old should decide her summer plans!

Why wouldn't you do arts and crafts at home Jo?

I agree that some choices need to be made for your children, JoPie, but do you really think children should have no input at all into where they spend their summer?

I think it is very harsh to give your ds no choice in anything he does. My dd will certainly have a say in what we do during the summer, and sometimes her suggestions and ideas are better than mine?

And why do you thnk that a playscheme can provide anything that you couldn't, with a little effort, at home?

Slight over use of question marks there

JoPie, you sound lovely