To be amazed by this question....?!

[tessofthedurbervilles]

Juat back from a bbq...am due to drop any day....this guy turns up with his gf and she sits down and starts chatting about my pg (never met her or him before) I nearly fell off my chair when (after questions about due dates, names and general pg stuff) she says 'so was it planned then?'
I was totally lost for words....is it me or is that really not dinner table talk?!

That's right up there with people asking whether my twins were "natural" or not. None of their bloody business and downright rude!!

It's one of those pregnancy questions people just ask though, isn't it? Especially rude people.

Well not terribly polite but i'm pregnant with dc3 and a few people have indirectly asked this. Fair enough though as i'd always been emphatic i was only having 2 dc's and ds2 was only 10 months when i realised i was pregnant.

So not terribly polite but ime people tend to lose all sense of social niceties when chatting to pregnant women hence all the 'wow, aren't you massive comments' etc.

Oh, and was it planned?

Well, it seems you'd exhausted all sensible baby related talk by the time that cropped up. Perhaps you should have steered the discussed away from your pg by then. Rude of her but maybe she thought she was continuing to make polite conversation.

YABU to be amazed. It is the standard fall back of someone who doesn't know what to say.

YANBU to find it rude.

you should have said "no not planned, what contraception do you use?" and then smiled knowingly and told her to be careful

Also due to drop anyday now with DC3 (with fairly close age gaps) and the number of times i have been asked this is

so op YANBU!!!!!

LOL at Reality

I can't talk to pregnant women any more. Every sentence I concoct I think 'can't say that, it'll be on AIBU later'

Are you quite young?
People always ask me if dd was planned (I was 19 when she was born), I always say "Of course I always planned to have children"

Got this question quite a bit for some reason with DS2, even from my Mum!! There is 2yrs between them, exactly how we wanted it. Didn't really think much of it at the time,looking back I now think 'how rude' but the one that really got me was when DS1 was at nursery, and I was chatting outside with him & DS2 one day. This woman (who I didn't know from Adam) came up to me, said 'ohh, they are so different aren't they, have they not got the same Dad then?'

My neighbour (who I barely knew) asked me after DS2 was born whether I had any stitches

She didn't even ask his name!

Worst one I got was after losing a baby between ds1 and ds2 a woman at toddler group said 'what a shame you won't have the age gap you wanted' As if that's all I cared about! She was odd though so I let it go.

That was so crass, Curiousmama

My sil asked a woman once how far along she was and heard in reply 'oh, I'm not pregnant, luv, its just worms'

People kept asking me if I was feeding the twins - I said of course, if I didn't feed them then they wouldn't grow up big and strong...I would always walk away before they could try and explain they meant BF...and quietly laugh to myself...oh yes and the "natural" twins question...pees me off

Can I join the foot-in-mouth brigade?
Went back to work after mat leave for my first baby and asked what the latest news was in the office. Turns out my close colleague is having a baby too.

'Oh, fantastic,' I say, 'Whose?'

[trust me, no amount of saying 'Sorry, when, I meant, when?' will get you out of that one. Not when you know said colleague was having an affair with someone else in the office when you last worked there. And she didn't know you knew, but now she does, doesn't she...?]

poorbuthappy, I gor the BF question too, from a total stranger in a life 'nice baby, do you BF'. Erm, excuse ME??!!

at Isabel and Charlotte