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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that maybe having an episiotomy may actually be preferable to being streeeeeeeeeetched beyond all recognition

76 replies

CurryMaid · 28/05/2009 21:34

I had a pretty traumatic forceps delivery of a large, stuck baby with complimentary episiotomy.

I always thought the episiotomy was truly the work of the devil - it made me feel hideously violated.

However, reading another thread has made me think that perhaps it prevented all kinds of other fanjo damage, and that them doing it that way might actually be preferable to having your bits stretched out of all proportion.

I have to say that my pelvic floor remains pretty intact and I'm not sure if the episiotomy may actually have helped with this.

OP posts:
angelene · 28/05/2009 23:04

CurryMaid I agree completely. The episiotomy was the one thing I was terrified of - whenever I thought about it I would literally go faint and have to sit down. When, after induction, that syto stuff for hours and hours and hours that couldn't get my contractions to be regular, and pushing for an hour and half to get DD nearly there, they said they would have to cut me and I just weakly said "noooo". The mw said kindly but firmly that they had to and then the scissors appeared - which was a huge shock, but by that point I was wondering whether I was actually going to have a baby at all or it was someone's idea of a joke so I was hardly in a position to protest more.

Thank fuck for epidurals though, I have a hopeless body that didn't do what it was supposed to do at all.

trixymalixy · 28/05/2009 23:11

Eww no!!! Scissors near your bits and hearing it crunch through the tissue!!! I would much prefer to tear.

Lizzylou · 28/05/2009 23:15

I found the whole thing horrendous, truly awful.
48 hours labour with DS1 with 3 hrs of pushing
17 hours with DS2 (huge)
At the point I have to say they could have done what they liked with me, I'd forgotten why I was there!
The funny (ha ha ha) thing is that I have huge hips, my friends and I always joked about how easily I'd give birth....

JoPie · 28/05/2009 23:18

Oh, trixy, yes the crunch! Thats the bit I won't ever forget, the sickening noise it made!!

I've had an epi and a bed enough tear, and I'll take the tear anyday. Healed better and was just less painful and yucky all round.

notcitrus · 28/05/2009 23:31

Best advice I ever got was to put on my birth plan "If I actually need cutting or stitches, I want it done by an expert!"

Thanks to epidural, felt nothing, theatre team assured me if they were in my place they'd want this lass doing it, and got complimented on the stitches by every midwife who saw them. When the epidural wore off the next day I felt mildly sore but nothing compared to the bruise in my thigh where I'd had a hasty intramuscular injection!

Hope I can have same again...

GothAnneGeddes · 29/05/2009 03:25

Had a 3rd tear cranking out dd. Didn't even feel myself doing it.

Went to theatre and lay back all comfy and warm with a spinal block while a nice registrar stitched me up. It meant I had to stay in overnight, which was a bit of a pain, but definitely preferable then being cut with scissors.

However, must mention that the first bowel movement afterwards was far from fun.

l39 · 29/05/2009 03:32

Notcitrus - your 'done by an expert' reminded me of just about the only time I've stood up for myself and opposed a professional! Pregnant with my first I read that episiotomies were often repaired by trainees who'd never even sewn up a cut on someone's arm or leg! The book might have been wrong of course but I remembered it and when I had an episiotomy myself and the midwife asked if the trainee could sew it up, I said no. Then I said no again when she came back and asked again. I am proud of that as it's so uncharacteristic!
There were 4 women in my small ward after and I was the only one who had no trouble at all with my stitches healing.

I am puzzled though by those who feel bad about the scar. Of course it is your body and you have the right to feel about it however you wish. Still - does everyone except me look? I've only looked at the area once in my life - went off to uni and they had a helpful little handbook for female students including 'Get a mirror and look at your genitals! They're not as icky as you think!'
Obediently I did indeed use a mirror, the area was just as unattractive as I thought, and I never had any wish to look again! So I have no idea what my scar looks like, and since it hasn't given me any discomfort, nor do I care.

ThePellyandMe · 29/05/2009 03:52

I had an episiotomy with DS1 who was forceps delivery but I'd had an epidural so felt nothing. I was in alot of pain for a long time afterward though. It's hard to know how much was due to the forceps and how much the episiotomy healing IYSWIM.

Despite DS2 being 10lb 7oz I didn't need an episiotomy second time round. I think that means I am stretched beyond all recognition. It certainly feels like it

PuzzleRocks · 29/05/2009 08:08

I had an episiotomy both times, in fact demanded it second tme round.
First time took five weeks to heal and the scar disappeared after 18 months.
Second time took three weeks to heal (DD2 is six weeks old) and all discomfort is gone.
I would far rather have a cut with the anaesthetic beforehand than suddenly tear. If I have another baby I have no qualms about demanding another episio if the pushing is going nowhere.

wolfnipplechips · 29/05/2009 08:30

YABU
dd i had an episiotomy with no local and no epidural it was the most hellish experience of my life. I was trying to kick the scissors out of the drs hands whilst in stirrups. I had opted for a ventouse over forceps because they told me i could have it without an episiotomy. Scar then got infected and and had to be left without sutures.

Ds was 9lb2 with the most mahoosive head you have ever seen i tore in 2 places and it hurt but it was no where near as bad as having episiotomy. Both times it was part of my birth plan not to have one at all costs.

PuzzleRocks · 29/05/2009 08:43

Bloody hell Wolf, is everything ok now? I suddenly feel very lucky.

wolfnipplechips · 29/05/2009 08:45

absolutely hunky dory

dd is 4 and ds is 2 next week and tis all forgotten.

I did have rather nast post traumatic stress after the incident with dd though.

newpup · 29/05/2009 09:00

I had 2 quite traumatic births, one forceps and one ventouse. I had episiotomies both times and although it was very painful for a while afterwards, I have no permanent damage at all. Compared to some of my friends who did not have episiotomies and tore, they seem to have had awful problems even now 6,8,9 years later!!! They talk about things not being the same etc.

I am glad I had them now although I was stitched both times by the consultant rather than a midwife or trainee.

BonsoirAnna · 29/05/2009 09:02

I was desperate to avoid an episiotomy (or any kind of scar) and did absolutely everything the MWs advised me to reduce the risk.

fizzpops · 29/05/2009 09:14

at local anaesthetic for the stitches, at the time though it felt like a gentle scratching considering I had a forceps delivery with just gas and air. Had an amazing suppository painkiller though. Didn't feel anything for 2 days - thought another mum on the ward was exaggerating when she said she could hardly sit down (I found out though!)

Verity79 · 29/05/2009 10:06

I catagorically refused an epi. as I have a bit of a phobia of them (just thinking of it makes me sick) as my mum had a front to back epi WITHOUT aenesthetic (cutting or stitching).

Front to back in the sense they cut up to the urethra and back to the rectum. I think that would be a 10th degree! She still has problems at 65. DB had a 15" head apparently but was only 6lb 8oz.

I had a ventouse delivery with DD1 and only had skid marks with no stitching It was the 1st one the registrar had ever done without an epi. She was really proud of herself.

Kaybeeand2boys · 29/05/2009 10:17

I had an epi for ds1 and ended up with 3rd degree tear and was in heaps of pain for ages after, tho they did do a nice job stiching me up (with top ups from my epidural so no pain then)
With ds2 i refused one and ended up with a small tear which the midwife stiched after, but although there wasnt as much pain healing after, it sure isnt so neat down there anymore

MrsTittleMouse · 29/05/2009 10:29

I had a very large episiotomy with DD1 (against my specific instructions, so they lied and told me they hadn't done it ), and it healed very badly. I was in a bad way for a long time (and it only really sorted itself out with DD2's delivery). With DD2 I was allowed to tear and even though it was a difficult delivery I didn't tear half as far as I was cut and it was much easier to heal. I was sewn both times and would insist on being sewn up even for a small tear.

Surely the pelvic floor is knackered by pregnancy and the weight of the baby anyway, so an episiotomy wouldn't make any difference. And most episiotomies don't extend that far up the vagina - except mine, which went pretty much up to the cervix as DD1 was completely stuck up there - and you can trust me that it is not a bundle of laughs having a hard painful scar along the length of your vagina.

CoteDAzur · 29/05/2009 10:44

I had a large episiotomy with DD and the weeks that followed were pure and relentless torture. Never known pain like that before or since.

Second time around, pregnant with a larger baby and told I would probably need another episiotomy, I had a c-section. It was great. I was totally fine after first two days. 9 days later, I have metal staples on scar but still it doesn't hurt one bit.

Quite possibly my body's pain threshold has been raised to inhuman heights following the episiotomy hell but let me repeat that compared to a big episiotomy with haematoma that subsequently gets infected, abdominal surgery is a walk in the park!

TheProvincialLady · 29/05/2009 10:50

I had an epi with DS1 and it was brutal. I looked like I had been whacked with an axe for months. It got infected and hurt for about a year.

With DS2 I got a tiny,tiny tear that has never bothered me. But I got a massive internal gouge graze that has been very painful and damaging. It could not have been prevented with an episiotomy or better care by MWs etc - it is just bad luck.

So the conclusion is.....erm...don't know!

Original poster
CurryMaid · 29/05/2009 12:20

Cote, congratulations on the new baby!!!

I am SO glad to hear your section went well, sounds like it was definitely the right way to go, well done.

OP posts:
PlumBumMum · 29/05/2009 12:28

Currymaid and Twinklemadem I'm so glad I read that as mine gets sore from time to time and the doc basically told me that was impossible

sophieandbelly · 29/05/2009 12:35

my episiotomy was awful the stitches were agony, i didnt fully recover down there for six months sex was absolutly unbearable,my stitches re-torn after 4 weeks! the ironic thing is i was so scARED OF child birth and altho it was very painful indeed, next time i think its def the idea of epistomy that would frighten me most! (hopefully would not need one but wh knows!)

Geocentric · 29/05/2009 12:39

I read an interesting analogy once, written by an ob nurse...

Take a china plate. You drop it and let it break naturally, in jagged bits. Then you glue across the natural cracks.

Then cut the same plate symetrically in half. Glue it back together.

Which will need more glue to hold it together? The second. And which will be stronger after mending? The first.

Also, if you choose not to have an epi, you may not tear, anyway...

Geocentric · 29/05/2009 12:54

Ooops, not quite what the op was asking - I meant that as a comparison for epi or allowing natural tears if they shouls happen.