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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that if I say I don't want my picture taken I mean I don't want it taken . END OF!

42 replies

shinyshoes · 26/05/2009 23:47

I hate it, I hate it with a fucking vengence. I'm not being precious, I hate it.

I have balloooned in recent years, I mean BALLOONED. I was at a pary a couple of weeks ago and I told everyone around me I didn't want my picture being taken. I have terrible self esteem issues as it is I hate it to the point I cry.

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago and as said to people I don't mind you taking pictures of people around me just don't get me in the photo.
I have since seen photos of me from my sisters on Facebook. They know exactly how I feel about myself, what self esteem issues I have and giggled about 'ooh you'll be in trouble when she sees this LOL ' 'I wouldn't like to be in your shoes etc'

These pictures are plastered for all to see. One woman whom I have not seen for about 20 years said 'OMG is that Shiny!!'
They have taken pictures of me where I hadn't noticed. I knew they were up to something when they giggled.
I asked them not to do it, they thought it funny, They just don't get it.

I know it's a problem I need to address but to me it's bullying, I don't like something they are doing and they are doing it regardless AIBU?

OP posts:

mrsboogie · 26/05/2009 23:53

Oh Christ. You are so so so not BU. that is awful . I have exactly the same problem.

I would be beyond fury if that was done to me.

jasper · 26/05/2009 23:54

YANBU!
people taking endless pictures is a modern curse.
It is extremely rude to take someone's picture when they have asked you not to.

thumbwitch · 26/05/2009 23:56

no YANBU.
I hate this family "ooh, she'll be so upset let's do it anyway just to piss her off" crap - my Mum and sister used to do it to me too. V. unfunny - the only thing you can do is to ignore it, sadly - the more upset you get about it the more they are likely to get huffy and say you are over-reacting, it's only a picture FGS. This means they don't really give a shit how you actually FEEL; they care more about themselves having a laugh at your expense.
for you.

LobstersLass · 26/05/2009 23:57

No, you are not being unreasonable.
They are being horrible. I would consider it to be bullying, especially seeing the catty comments.

I would hate it and would be in tears if someone did that to me.

Original poster

shinyshoes · 26/05/2009 23:59

I am sat here with tears streaming down my face. I know i'm being completley ridiculous but I am so upset about this. I have asked again for them to be removed.

Hopefully it is done by morning.

OP posts:

Tryharder · 26/05/2009 23:59

YANBU.

I am somewhat larger than I used to be and hate seeing myself in photos so I feel your pain. I don't have a facebook account though!

Your friends sound a bit mean but tbh, you probably shot yourself in the foot a bit by insisting that they didnt take photos of you - they then knew the best way to wind you up. Better to have just said nothing and then just quietly moved out of the way everytime you saw a camera.

movingintothefuture · 27/05/2009 00:03

I have photo phobia. I freak out completely about photos being taken of me. My solution -be the one behind the camera you get to take all the pickie

Seriously -i have lost friends over the issue as they couldn't respect me enough to respect my wishes. I decided they weren't worth the effort then.

jasper · 27/05/2009 00:05

Oh shiny, Please don't cry.

Have the FB pics been tagged, so that they appear on your profile?
You can get them off your profile by removing the tags.

mrsboogie · 27/05/2009 00:07

I have even had rows with my OH if he has taken a pic of me when told not to. I get very upset. So I know how you eel OP and you are not being ridiculous. Not at all.

mrsboogie · 27/05/2009 00:07

feel

thumbwitch · 27/05/2009 00:09

it's her sisters who have done it, not friends. Bit harder to get over, imo.

Original poster

shinyshoes · 27/05/2009 00:09

No I don't think they show up on my profile, I haven't been tagged they are on my sisters Facebook profile so only her friends (I think) can see them.

Thanks for the support and understanding for something that seems so trivial (to them and others that don't understand)

OP posts:

mrsboogie · 27/05/2009 00:11

It is NOT trivial - its an invasion of your privacy.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 27/05/2009 00:24

I totally get this, YANBU at all. It's horrible, and people always seem to want to take photos of you when your hair is a mess, no makeup, crap clothes etc

Someone in dp's family did this (posted uber fat and ugly pics of me on fb) I untagged them, he re-tagged them repeatedly. I asked politely for them to be removed and he said no. So I demanded and he mocked me in his status messages. I threw a proper shitfit at dp until he had a word.

Poor you, I think you need to have a serious word with your sisters. Either that or revenge. Next time you're all in a public loo stand on the seat next to the stall they are in and take a photo of them with your phone.

PrincessLayer · 27/05/2009 00:25

I'm with you all the way. I hate being photographed.

If they won't remove the picture it might be an idea to ask the person who has the photos to blur your face out, then they can still have the pictures on facebook without embarrassing you?

sleepymommy · 27/05/2009 00:44

I'm pretty sure you can report them to facebook if they are of you and you want them removed.I don't know for definite though.Maybe doing this will show them how serious you are?

jasper · 27/05/2009 10:02

sleepy I am afraid you can't get them deleted just" because they are not flattering" (FB's words)
They have to be offensive or illegal or something

sleepymommy · 27/05/2009 10:11

Is that right jasper? I would have thought that privacy laws mean that you can object to having photos of you on the internet.

nickschick · 27/05/2009 10:17

I 100% know what your saying but its important you do have some pictures of you - my ds once said to me that he needed a picture of his family for his project at school.....there was none of me.

Dont worry I said you can take one of me now.

But Mum what if you had died yesterday I wouldnt have a picture of you at all let alone for a project.

Your family were really out of order doing that and if i were you so they cant be put on facebook (following Jaspers quote)next time id walk around sticking 2 fingers up or wearing a rude tshirt .

jasper · 27/05/2009 10:18

Yes, I know because I tried! FB specifically states you can't have a photo removed just because it is unflattering

KerryMaid · 27/05/2009 10:19

That's really mean of them and they were BU.

People can still see you though, whether they take a photo or not, so perhaps you need to work through your self-esteem issues if they are causing you this much sadness

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 27/05/2009 10:21

YOur sisters are being very unkind and I would imagine this actually goes back deeper than photos/your body image.

ON the other hand, it is maddening when you are out at a social gathering and want to take a couple of snaps of the group and there's someone squealing 'Ooh, no, don't take my picture' and making a huge palaver out of it when you're not that bothered about getting that individual in the shot anyway...

sleepymommy · 27/05/2009 10:22

That's awful! I work in a school and we have to get permission to show pictures of kids on our publication material.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 27/05/2009 10:23

You should be able to, it's so wrong that they don't let you. Surely as it's bearing your image it's more your property than theirs?

A bit off-topic, but the more I learn about facebook the more wary I am of using it. I think they're storing and using all our information. In fact I'd go as far as to say the whole site is MADE for that, and the games and the fun side of it are to lure us in and keep us there, divulging all our information. Best market research tool ever? or something more sinister?

Notalone · 27/05/2009 10:24

YANBU - they are being v insensitive and a bloody cruel to boot - especially if they know how much this upsets you. Have yoo sat down with them and explained exactly how upset you are by this?

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