to not want my DS to visit MIL's dad in nursing home?

[wolfear]

DS is 22 months and a bit of a live wire. We visited my FIL in hospital recently and wanted to run about the whole time shouting and causing a commotion.

My own grandfather was in a nursing home in his final years and I used to hate going there. Even though it was quite nice, I found it so depressing I used to pretend to be asleep in the car when we arrived so I didn't have to go in.

MIL wants to take DS to cheer up her dad, but to be honest, he's very ill and doesn't even remember my DH or me or sometimes even my MIL. I don't really think it's the place for a toddler. How do I say no nicely or AIBU?

We took DS1 to see great-granny when he was a similar age.

We pushed her round in her wheelchair around the gardens for about 15 mins and then left.

You don't have to stay long and even though he may not remember its a nice thing to do.

Let her take your son - if it cheers up his old sick great grand dad it will be a kind act. It cant hurt your son.

Her experience of the visit doesn't have to be unpleasant, as yours was.
She'll probably enjoy the fuss and attention from the residents. And it'll be good for them too.

Her? His sorry.

old people love toddlers

all the old dears at my Dad's place love it when I take DS3 there and, to be honest, life is pretty crap there so naything to cheer them up...

if you don't want to go, why not let your MIL take your DS?

I think you are right, not being horrible but these places are full of germs, DS will be all over the place touching things (errr germs). I would tell the truth, I think it is fair and acceptable to say what you have written in this. Harp on the germ thing as well.

A toddler isn't really going to have the issues you have. DS2 (now 7) still talks about going to see 'nanny who was in bed all the time' although she died a few years ago,

have? had.

luvoneson you sound mad. germs?? Are you insane?

A nursing home is probably cleaner than most elderly people's own homes to be honest.

i have quite a strong fear of hospitals and i believe it started when taken to visit great aunt in hospital as a child
it was (to me) horrible and i nearly fainted at the time
so i see your point

Germs? I wouldn't be at all worried about gems. Children of that age are walking petri dishes, and they put everything in their mouths regardless of how gross it is.

So they've probably had exposure to far worse bugs than are to be found in your average nursing home.

Lol saintly....I was thinking the same!

yabu.let her try it.if your ds causes too much commotion or really hates it then youve reason not to let him go next time.but i think it would be lovely for him to go and quite unfair not to let him.

as for germs-dont be silly

there is hand cleaning station at the door of my Dad's home - your little darling can clean his hands on the way in and out

SAINTLY believe me i'm not some kind of lunatic. Actually hospitals are full of germs, I would'nt take a small child unless I had to. My friend is a nurse I know.

Thats why you teach your child good hygiene - ie, wash your hands properly and regularly.

There are germs everywhere - cue spooky music

He's not in a hospital though. He's in a nursing home.

My Mum is a nurse. Do I need to swab her or sheep dip her before she enters the house.

Luvoneson. The grossest substance known to man, and I speak from experience, is nursery playdough.
I don't know if the Op's ds goes to nursery or not but if the average toddler can survive ingesting approximately a pound of that per term then they can certainly deal with the bacteria in a nursing home.

pmsl saintly-im sure your mum would love it!

Sorry is it nursing home?
Sorry assumed hospital (ill people, GERMS!!!!.) And no i'm not a nutter just think of MRSA etc. Nursing Home, then I would take DS.