to not want my DS to visit MIL's dad in nursing home?

[wolfear]

DS is 22 months and a bit of a live wire. We visited my FIL in hospital recently and wanted to run about the whole time shouting and causing a commotion.

My own grandfather was in a nursing home in his final years and I used to hate going there. Even though it was quite nice, I found it so depressing I used to pretend to be asleep in the car when we arrived so I didn't have to go in.

MIL wants to take DS to cheer up her dad, but to be honest, he's very ill and doesn't even remember my DH or me or sometimes even my MIL. I don't really think it's the place for a toddler. How do I say no nicely or AIBU?

yanbu

I'd let her take ds. Brief visit to be followed by trip to swings/ice cream/new toy...

I don't think nursing homes are actually as grim as they were when we were kids, & a 22 month old is unlikely to have formed a huge bond with a very old, ill & confused great grandfather, so he's unlikely to find it upsetting/depressing in the way that you did visiting your grandfather...?

& he'll cheer up everyone in there, & give MIL something to concentrate on other than being sad about her df.

So on the whole, I'd say yes (but obviously not commit to making it a regular thing until you know how first visit goes).

Hospitals are full of germs?

EVERYWHERE is full of germs. And, believe it or not, you won't necessarily drop down dead if you're exposed to some. It may actually be a little bit GOOD for you and your DCs to get up close and personal with some germs.

I don't know whether it's just a coincidence but I am not the cleanest of people (my house is clean but it sure ain't spotless) and I am almost never ill so there you go.
[not quite scientific evidence emoticon]

OK, I'm waaaay too slow on the uptake. That'll be the wine. Sorry luvoneson, just ignore me

ROFL at 'shouty toddler commotion'

older people in a nursing home are at far more risk from a child's germs than the other way round

But anyway, it depresses me that older and sicker and needier people are sequestered away like this. Why shouldn't people in nursing homes have a bit of normality invade to cheer them up? And why shouldn't kids mix with older people? Unless someone is really at death's door, poorly or deranged, I can't see why not.

I work in a elderly residential care home, and they love any child/baby/toddler coming to visit.

The youngest visitor we have had that i remember is a week old baby, he was visiting his great grandfather on his birthday.

lupus I was about to write the same about the risk being the other way round.

anyway something to cheer you up!

Can I just clarify, I'm not at all bothered about germs. I'm worried about him causing havoc around frail sick people.

They'll love having him there. It'll probably be the highlight of their week.

I have been taking my dd's to visit my nana in a nursing home regularly since they were born.

The staff and the residents adore seeing them.

Most of the residents aren't sick they are just old and frail and need looking after.