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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To not want to sleep with strangers???

42 replies

MissSunny · 25/05/2009 00:10

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
nitemare · 25/05/2009 00:21

No YANBU. They sound like they mislead you and sounds like you have a right to be cross. Especially the travel expenses!! That's outrageous.

jasper · 25/05/2009 00:22

What is the job?

luvoneson · 25/05/2009 00:23

I think you should have your own room.

lovemybabyboy · 25/05/2009 00:27

I think YANBU!
I would really hate to share a room with a complete stranger for 2 nights! they could be some sort of weirdo for all you know!
I think if they expect you to go there they should put you up in your own single room or as you said in a cheaper hotel if they cant afford the expensive one!
I would definitely want to talk to them about it also if I were you, but be careful not to get too annoyed with them, you dont want to get fired before you start...

PrimroseHall · 25/05/2009 02:10

It's inappropriate IMO and I'd be really pissed off if an employer expected this.

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 25/05/2009 02:18

This does sound dodgy: all expenses paid should be all expenses paid for starters. The room sharing, while annoying, is less dodgy as lots of organisations do this, and it's not their problem if some people are fussier than others.
However I would be immediately uneasy about taking on a job with a company who had misled me in the interview - it would make me wonder if they were fibbing about the wages as well.

oldnewmummy · 25/05/2009 05:52

In Singapore it's quite normal to share with colleagues and if you're the junior person and refuse to share with the senior person they lose "face". I always insisted on a single room though as I'm a stroppy cow.

On one trip I was travelling with 2 colleagues, 1 male and 1 female. Someone asked "Are the 3 of you sharing?"

Yeah, right. I was in charge of the arrangements so 3 rooms.

StealthPolarBear · 25/05/2009 07:07

we've had the debate about room sharing with colleagues before and opinion is divided between "you're being precious" and that it's unacceptable to expect you to share. I'm on your side - this has happened to me before and we kicked up a fuss. Can't think of anything worse that sharing a room with someone when I hadn't chosen to. That said, I shared a room for a term at university and it was OK and we're still good friends - but as a student it's different!

PfftTheMagicDragon · 25/05/2009 07:25

I agree with solidgold, I would be very wary of taking a job with a company who lied like this at interview. Also, with one who are so funny about expenses, I mean, who limits travel expenses like that?

Sycamoretree · 25/05/2009 07:47

This sounds highly irregular to me. We put staff and clients up all the time and this would be unthinkable.

The only time I've ever shared is with a well known colleague when I was junior staff and it was a xmas party treat in a really swanky hotel, so hardly a chore!

I would have thought there were some legal/health and safety concerns sharing with a stranger, newly appointed to the company?

I would call them and try and stay as calm as possible whilst you outline why you're not happy.

piscesmoon · 25/05/2009 07:57

YANBU-over any of it.
Things have changed a lot of the years-I don't know why hotels are so geared up to double or twin rooms when I would have thought the single traveller was the growing trend-they are way behind the times.
I don't see how they can justify £50 travel if you can't do it for that.

Queenoftheharpies · 25/05/2009 07:58

IME it's not unusual for companies to ask people to share rooms with same-sex colleagues at corporate functions of this kind - if you're worried about your co-worker being a nutter, that doesn't say much for the company, does it? It's an arse-ache but it's only a couple of nights, so yes you may just have to put up with an early night.

The train ticket is a different matter. There's no way you should be expected to pay out of your own pocket to attend a company training course.

StealthPolarBear · 25/05/2009 08:00

I agree that they either pay your expenses or don't - they can either justify the cost of the training (inc expenses) to your work or they can't!

Flynnie · 25/05/2009 08:04

YANBU.
I worked for a company who would do things like this all the time. And a word of warning, if they are like this now they will probably only get worse.

My company would arrange appointments for staff in central London and then refuse to pay the congestion charge.

I take it your new job is not as an MP.

Ronaldinhio · 25/05/2009 08:08

The expenses thing is bolloxs and if the training is compulsory then they'll have to pay your expenses to get there.
It could be that they have some other expense policy add on to cover those coming from a distance?

Doesn't make sense that they treat you so well at interview and put you off training in this way upon employment...

I'm sure a chat will clarify that travel is paid. Start from an assumptive stand point though, my avice from experience.

The room sharing is standard in many companies including my own and I think fair tbh. If you really want the privacy, pay for it.

So, reasonable and unreasonable.

Original poster
MissSunny · 25/05/2009 15:42

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OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 25/05/2009 15:47

My honest advice is to think long and hard about telling them about your sleeping problems...
We run lots of courses and inevitably the ones who moan about sharing a room have a mental black mark against their name

This might not be what you want to hear but please consider how much you want the job before making a fuss

Bonneville · 25/05/2009 15:49

YANBU I think its unacceptable for any firm to expect this of their employees.

Ronaldinhio · 25/05/2009 15:51

I would again point to how difficult it is to gain a job in the current climate.

Saying that it is unacceptable to be asked to either share a room as paid for by the company or pay the extra to have a single room of your own is naive.(and unacceptable)

whiskersonkittens · 25/05/2009 16:05

Maybe you could get around the room problem by explaining you sleep pattern and asking them to put you with someone with a similar pattern. That way with any luck there won't be anyone and they may offer you a single room or if there is at least you won't worry about keeping them awake?

I am with you on the bathroom front too - can you make sure you are first into the shower after it has been cleaned ?

Travel expenses they are def unreasonable but again maybe you could ask them what arrangements are made to meet people at the station rather then assume a taxi so if they say none then you could ask about taxi costs given your train fare is £78 - I assume there are no cheap advance fares available to you?

Original poster
MissSunny · 25/05/2009 16:35

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OP posts:
duchesse · 25/05/2009 16:47

YANBU, they are. They are in fact taking the piss. What sort of an outfit is this?

Stinkermink · 25/05/2009 16:53

YANBU, request a single room and the rates they originally offered or walk away. Little things like this are indicative of how the company operates as a whole. Training days and interviews for new employees should be the flagship moment for the company. They have to sell themselves to you as much as you have to impress them. Personally the expenses thing would have put me off, let alone the room issue.

Stinkermink · 25/05/2009 16:56

Perhaps a solution would be if they don't concede the room sharing issue would be to ensure you get full amount of expenses then offer to pay the difference to get yourself into a single room.

twopeople · 25/05/2009 16:58

This reply has been deleted

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