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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to my step sisters wedding ??

26 replies

mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 19:55

My step sister is getting married in september. She lives about 250 miles away from me. My Husband won't drive me and I can't drive. I've asked my Dad for a lift with him, but he says he's not willing to travell with my 4 year old daughter as he says she'll be a nightmare.
So basically, I have no way of getting there. Also, the wedding isn't untill 4pm. My daughter needs to be in bed by 7pm or she really is a horror. I also wouldn't have anyone to babysit.
I'll need to let her know soon, but I'm not sure if she'll be disapointed. I don't quite know what to tell her.
er Mum, my step Mum has never liked me. I always make an effort for my Dads sake but she is always so cold towards me and my daughter. I don't want to make her any worse.
What should I do ?

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 22/05/2009 19:57

donlt go.

simple really, going on your post.

I would not go if I were you.

TheArmadillo · 22/05/2009 20:00

Don't go.

Phone her and say you are sorry but you won't be able to come. Or send a reply card if was written invitation.

Don't go into your reasons but keep it short.

flowerybeanbag · 22/05/2009 20:00

If your husband won't drive you I presume he isn't going, so can you leave your daughter at home with him and just you go?

benbon · 22/05/2009 20:01

i think you should go. why wont your husband drive you?
or if he is not going your daughter could stay with him and you go and have a good time...
alternatively tell your dad that your daughter will be coming in the car with you " not optional" and at age 4 she should be able to stay up later on a special occasion...

QueenofSpleen · 22/05/2009 20:04

I think I would see how long a train would take .. and how much it would cost.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 20:09

I suppose I could go on my own, I'd hate being away from my daughter though. Not sure if I could do it.
My Husband isn't keen on her or her future husband. She comes accross as being quite cold and abrupt like her Mum. I can see why he can't take to her as he is so friendly.
She was going to get married a 2 years ago to a different man. I was going to be her chief bridesmaid and my daughter a flower girl. She's now got her Mum to tell me that we'll just be guests, as she's keeping the cost down. This dosn't really bother me, but my husband thinks f**k them then.

OP posts:
cat64 · 22/05/2009 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

clam · 22/05/2009 20:11

Think I'm with your husband on this one!

flowerybeanbag · 22/05/2009 20:12

I don't think you should not go because your husband doesn't like her. That's a reason for him not to go, not you.

She's your step-sister and I do think if you can manage to make an effort you probably should.

womma · 22/05/2009 20:14

If you always make an effort for your Dad's sake, why won't he make one for you and give you a lift? And if your daughter is a nightmare, then tough, she's four and he's her grandpa, and he shouldn't talk about her like that. He needs a clip round the ear'ole!

OrmIrian · 22/05/2009 20:14

You go with your dad. Leave DD with your DH. You should go really. And it's not as if it's impossible.

lisad123 · 22/05/2009 20:18

I would leave dd with your husband and go with your dad.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 20:20

She is my step sister but we didn't grow up together or anything.
My Dad married her Mum when I was 15 and she was 11. We've never been close as we are so different in personality.
I'd still send a card and pressie.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 22/05/2009 20:22

sound slike you dont want to go tbh

norksinmywaistband · 22/05/2009 20:22

Leave DD with DH, its only for one night, then travel with your Dad or get the train

Ronaldinhio · 22/05/2009 20:24

Go

yabu

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 20:25

I could ask my Dad if he'd be willing to take just me, if he says yes, I would probubly go.
I don't know if his wife would be too happy though.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 20:27

I don't think anyone has been reasonable to me either.

OP posts:
Boys2mam · 22/05/2009 20:38

Why haven't they been reasonable to you Mummyloves?

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 20:42

Refusing to give me a lift with my wonderfully behaved daughter. Then my step mother saying in a very cold tone "By the way, you'll only be a gest at the wedding, my H is cutting costs".

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 22/05/2009 20:50

I have to go now, I'm doing a night shift. I'll check again tomorrow.

OP posts:
JodieO · 22/05/2009 21:25

I wouldn't go, I think you're right not to want to.

Longtalljosie · 22/05/2009 21:39

If you were a bridesmaid for the other wedding, she must care about you. It seems a shame not to go. Can't you persuade your husband? For him to say, fuck it we're not going because you're not in the bridal party seems a bit odd.

PrincessLayer · 22/05/2009 21:48

Given the choice, forget childcare, transport and miserable step mum...do you really want to go?
Or would you rather stay home with a bottle of wine and a takeaway?

If you do really want to go, then you'll find a way to get there. If you think you should go because she's your sister but you'd really rather be at home with a cuppa watching Corrie, then send your apologies and stay at home.
Given what you've already said I know what my choice would be.

piscesmoon · 22/05/2009 21:56

I would leave your DD with DH and go.

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