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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at SIL

77 replies

kys · 21/05/2009 15:53

My ds age almost 5 was invited to his cousins 9th bday party at the local bowling alley, they sent him a proper invite so i presumed he was "officially" invited. When we arrived we were told "we havent paid for a place for him so he will just have to watch and he hasnt got a meal"
I was gobsmacked and ds was really upset. I could of understood if he was a bit younger but at almost 5 he loves bowling and couldnt understand why he wasnt allowed.
Surely it would of been better if they just hadnt asked him at all, with the age difference between them i wasnt even expecting an invite to be honest. In the end we handed present over said happy birthday and i took him home, stopping for a great big ice cream on the way.
The in laws have been on the phone this morning having a go at me for spoiling the party.
What do you think? Was i wrong to leave?

OP posts:
clam · 21/05/2009 19:09

I was going to mention that, too, oldspot. They should be grateful you passed it over!

Horton · 21/05/2009 19:34

Horrible behaviour. Your poor little DS. YANNNNNNNBU. But they are.

beanieb · 21/05/2009 21:18

How does your husband feel about this behaviour from his sister and his mother? Has he spoken to you about it and would he agree that cutting ties (And getting keys back if they have them) would be a good idea?

BottySpottom · 21/05/2009 21:29

Crazy people. At least your DH is on-side. I would try and distance yourselves a bit if I were you. You sound as though you behaved really well, they must be infuriating.

Kimi · 21/05/2009 21:30

what a load of nasty bitchy people...

I think you need to cut all ties, they are all quite mad.

Your pooor son.

Kitsilano · 21/05/2009 21:34

UNbelievable. Keep your son away from them!

SalVolatile · 21/05/2009 21:37

YANBU, YANBU, YANBU, and it sounds as though there is an agenda here that you need to stay away from. What normal grandparent would see a 5 year old ostracised deliberately? Sounds like your DH has their measure, darling....

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/05/2009 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

overweightnoverdrawn · 21/05/2009 21:43

Ill have one of each please.

Horton · 21/05/2009 21:50

Oh yes, I'd like some of those too. Preferably ones who don't think you need to add sugar to an orange.

mumeeee · 21/05/2009 23:51

YANBU. When DD3 had a bowling party for her ninth birthday party we invited my nephews and one was only 4 at the time. He joined in with the party and bowled along with her friends. He did use the special ramp and DH helped him. But all DD's friends were happy to have him join in and he loved it.

BBisfinallyPG · 22/05/2009 08:48

YANBU at all! your inlaws and SIL are twuntish, thats a really wicked way to treat a 5 year old

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 22/05/2009 08:56

This is awful. Your poor DS.

I agree with others that your ILs sound like loons! I'd have very little to do with them in future. What nasty bastards...

SarahL2 · 22/05/2009 09:37

Poor DS. How can anyone think that inviting a 5 year old to a party then not letting them join in is fair!

Especially his auntie and grandparents who are supposed to love him!!

As BB said - Twunts!

roulade · 22/05/2009 10:13

YANBU - Arseholes!

womblingfree · 22/05/2009 12:25

I think you're being v. reasonable to just be annoyed. I'd want to throttle someone if they treated my DD like that, whether they were related or not.

Heated · 22/05/2009 12:36

You have an absolutely barking set of in-laws.

Yes, get keys back/change locks.

Your dh knows how poisonous they are. Do you think he'll want to cut them off again to protect ds?

Sassybeast · 22/05/2009 12:41

YANBU - idiots!

Tidey · 22/05/2009 12:46

It sounds to me like they wanted it noted that he had been invited, so it would appease their guilty consciences, whilst at the same time making damn sure you were made to feel unwelcome. So then your SIL could tell everyone she had made the effort and invited your DS but that you had sulked and gone home. Passive agressive nasty behaviour.

avenginggerbil · 22/05/2009 12:51

Horton - you don't HAVE to add sugar to an orange, but it is jolly tasty when you do!

I'd forgotten about doing that; now I want a sugared orange!

(sorry for hijack OP, you are totally not unreasonable)

savoycabbage · 22/05/2009 12:56

YANBU! That is a horrible, horrible thing to do to a child.

DorotheaPlenticlew · 22/05/2009 13:03

I also agree that you should do what nametaken said. And also, please give your DS a few extra cuddles from us.

PM73 · 22/05/2009 13:11

Thats a horrible way to treat a child,you dont need people like that in your life,cut the ties & move on.

Your poor little ds,thats very cruel,hope he enjoyed his ice cream.

Sbeanmum · 22/05/2009 13:34

Your poor DS! And I do hope you told your PIL exactly where to stick their bowling balls when they called you to complain!

I'm so glad that your DH sees their behaviour for what it is, given how many people on MN have DHs who need to grow a pair. I'd stop trying to keep the peace between DH and his family - walk away - you don't want them anywhere near your DS.

Original poster
kys · 22/05/2009 15:32

Thank you everyone. DH is totally with me on this one, he wishes id never tried to include them. He took a total emotional battering from them as a child, never encouraged to do anything new and when he did try, basically told he'd never succeed.
Our ds is not just our pfb hes our 14yrs ttc pfb and dh is determined to be the parent he never had.
DH took the day off today and we've just had a lovely morning at the bowling alley. Pretending the skittles were IL's heads

OP posts:
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