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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at this?

39 replies

MadreInglese · 21/05/2009 14:58

We attended BIL's wedding last week, we had a lovely time and it was a fab day, but I was a little annoyed at my name being spelt wrong, once on the seating place, and a second different-but-still-wrong spelling of it on my place card.

I know it's not a mahoosive issue in the grand scheme, etc, etc. DP thinks I'm being a bit Victorian, but then I'm quite a stickler for manners (not that I'll be bringing it up with them or anything, I'm not that annoyed, I just feel it's a bit rude).

AIBU?

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 21/05/2009 14:59

Yes YABU

Unless it was deliberate, just get over it.

They had more important things to worry about than your name.

Twims · 21/05/2009 15:00

YABU

bigchris · 21/05/2009 15:00

yanbu

my brother is always spelling my surname wrong, drives me mad

Roobie · 21/05/2009 15:00

I would be miffed too - shoddy carelessness. But hey ho!

mrsruffallo · 21/05/2009 15:00

I think it's careless. It is annoying, and when in-laws do it it feels personal.
Not a big deal, bit irritating

Original poster
MadreInglese · 21/05/2009 15:02

Like I said, it's not a mahoosive issue, was just wondering if others would be annoyed

And no I don't imagine it was deliberate lol

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 21/05/2009 15:07

yabu

piscesmoon · 21/05/2009 15:07

I would be miffed-I constantly am because it is often spelt wrong-however it is very unimportant-you had a lovely time and it was a fab day so just let it go!

BabyBump2B · 22/05/2009 00:17

YABU

tattifer · 22/05/2009 00:21

YABU - I get my name spelt wrong in every card from my SIL and her husband - I've come to look at it as they best they can do - neither one of them could be accused of being particularly bright.

Tigerbear · 22/05/2009 00:24

YABU, as someone else mentioned, there are so many things to worry about when organising a wedding, and so many potential things to go wrong, spelling your name incorrectly isn't a massive deal is it?

Aspire2Iron · 22/05/2009 00:25

YANBU. It's annoying. Not a big deal... just small-cheese annoying. I'm sure they meant no harm. All the same, I prefer people to spell my name correctly. (Polish surname here, too... tall order!)

thumbwitch · 22/05/2009 00:27

my name is always being spelled wrong but never so far at a wedding reception.

I get very unreasonable about it when people spell it wrong on emails though - I mean, fgs, the name is THERE in FRONT of them on the email ADDRESS!!! How hard can it be??
My trick is to send an email back to them with a spurious extra letter on the end of their name - usually works.

PinkTulips · 22/05/2009 00:38

my invitation to my cousins wedding arrived with my forenaame spelt wrong and they used my mothers maiden name

am interested to see what's on my placecard on the day

5Foot5 · 22/05/2009 13:12

I had an aunt (now dead) who always got my name wrong on cards. It is not a difficult name and this wasn't just a mis-spelling - she just used a variation of my name that she obviously preferred to my actual one.

Mind you she was always a bit batty.

hercules1 · 22/05/2009 13:14

My name gets mispelt all the time. I really would barely give this a thought. I think if I were the people getting married and I knew this had annoyed you'd I'd regret having every invited you.

jasper · 22/05/2009 13:21

YABU

MinnieMummy · 22/05/2009 13:22

YANBU - they're family! You'd think they'd know by now how your name is spelt.
Obviously not life and death but your name is your identity and how it's spelt is part of that. OP has made it clear she's not ungrateful and is merely irritated, which is fair enough IMHO.

lucky1979 · 22/05/2009 13:29

My Dad still spells my married surname wrong. He even booked me a plane ticket in the wrong name once. I wouldn't worry about it!

dollius · 22/05/2009 13:32

I don't think YAB entirely U.

At my sister's wedding last summer, we all scoured the seating list carefully to check that everyone's name had been spelled correctly, and had the thing re-printed twice as a result It is just a nice touch to make people feel wanted and welcome.

They were a bit thoughtless but, as you say, it's not the end of the world.

SarahL2 · 22/05/2009 13:34

My Uncle obviously completely forgot my married surname when sending me a birthday card (2 weeks early!) last week so I got Mrs Sarah Maiden-name.

Ah well, at least he remembered I was married!!

Sbeanmum · 22/05/2009 13:51

YABabitU

I accidentally got my BIL's name wrong on his invitation to our wedding (DH thought that was his name!!), my brother still can't spell my married surname (after 6 years) and my aunt singularly fails to listen to anyone who tells her that her spelling of my first name is wrong (she's been spelling it her way for 35 years now)!

Agree it's annoying, but if you get on with your ILs, then that's far more important

psychomum5 · 22/05/2009 14:10

my name is forever being spelt wrong, and if I got irritated over it, I would never be happy......seriously.

mine is even spelt wrong on my birth certificate!

Original poster
MadreInglese · 22/05/2009 14:30

It's quite funny really because I'm totally used to it being spelt wrong on post, or pronounced wrong on the phone, etc, and it never usually bugs me at all.

I guess I just feel a twice mispelt name on a seating plan/place card at a family wedding is a little, I dunno, careless? I'm not suggesting for one minute that it's more important than any of the other things they had to do for that day, but like someone said below when it's family it feels a bit personal.

But hey ho, nevermind.....

(liking the add a random letter idea )

OP posts:
Spaceman · 22/05/2009 14:34

Who knows unless we know what you are called? If you are called Jane, the it's a problem. If you are called something like Catherine, which can be spelt in so many different ways, then YABU. I got my Great Aunts surname wrong (attributing her to the wrong family) at our wedding. She was okay about it, but I just thought 'give me a break!' It was amazing anyone even got fed at our wedding let alone had name tags spelt correctly.

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