AIBU to think it is weird to need passports when kids aren't emmigrating?

[looneymum]

Hi Guys. My soon to be ex is emmigrating to Aus... he is at present filling in visa application forms... is it normal for the non-migrating children to need to have a medical and provide passports in order that he can fill in his visa application. All words of wisdom gratefully received. It is bad enough that he is leaving them... and leaving us in a poor financial state... never mind me having to go through all this trauma and bloody well assist with his visa crap! xx

I've been thinking about you and your horrible situation - hang in there, you are under no obligation to make it easy for this selfish twat to eff off halfway round the world with someone else's children, abandoning his own girls in the process!

Again, do not hand over the passports. Wait until you have no choice, if it ever gets that far. Insist on a fair financial settlement first and remember the Aus 'CSA' are meant to be quite hot on enforcement so if there is a maintenance order in place before he goes I doubt he'll be able to escape paying up

The law may regard the visa/settlement as separate entities but as long as you hold the passports, you have bargaining power there. No visa without passports - no passports without maintenance.

Good luck and stay strong.

Hiya AA. Thanks so much. Do you know this site has kept me sane.... perhaps you lot should start charging as much as my solicitor! I know I must on hang in and to be honest, I really need my solicitor to fight my corner this time and bloody well show twunt face that he can't have his own way... I gather there is a £40 per person cancellation fee for cancelling the medicals... ooooooooo me heart bleeds!!! xx

Listen to clam. She who speaks great words of wisdom

Thx Caramel.... and to Clam and to all other lovely Mummysnetters who are cheering me up and making all this shite seem so much easier to take! xxx

'The problem seems to be that the law view the visa application and the settlement as two entirely separate entities.'

But it can be argued that a person can use emigration as a means to avoid financial maintenance or settlement, that's what I'd speak to the solicitor about.

And, in light of her ex's protesting her removal of their children, that both she and he pose a flight risk if they are insisting on having the passports.

Good morning everyone. Just a quick line to say that I haven't heard anything further about the threatened court proceedings for not handing over the passports. It could just be that my solicitor can't be arsed to call me.... oooo don't you just love the money grabbing legal system! Have a good day. xxx

I wouldn't hand over the passports until I had a court order saying I had to, until he completes the settlement with you.

Hi Everyone. So, at the risk of sounding like I am banging on perpetually about these damn passports that were needed for kids to have non migrating medicals, the kids have returned from their week with their arse of a father and would you believe it... they still had the medicals... even tho I didn't give him the damn passports... no idea how he got away with it! Anyway, he told them they needed a medical to check they were healthy... he still hasn't mentioned his intention to f off around the world! Happy Days! Roll on the next instalment. xxxx

Hi,
I've read the whole thread and wondered (as someone with absolutely no experience of this situation) if you could make a sort of deal with him that he sort out the financial settlement to your satisfaction and in exchange you won't be too obstructive over the emigration hoops?

I'd be tempted to join forces with her ex.

Hi Magro (and thanks XP)... unfortunately, all negotiations are presently taking place through solicitors (at enormous expense). He doesn't want to negotiate... he is too controlling... just wants to tell me what he wants to do and I must tow the line. He presently wants to put financial stuff on hold so I can do nothing but wait. I gather that I cannot veto his application and have no doubt that a court order will be forthcoming to force me to produce passports etc even tho the settlement has not been finalised... I think they are viewed as separate. My solicitor seems to have gone AWOL so as usual I am left thinking the worst and relying on you guys for support and pearls of wis...! Thx again. xx

Hi XP ... yes you are probably right... if I could locate him I wonder what on earth he would say is going on. May pursue that route. To be honest tho I just wish it was over so I can plan my new life with my lovely girls and start to cut my cloth accordingly. xx

Looneymum - how's it all going?