to not want to go to a party when I have a 12 day old baby?

[YesSirICanBoogie]

I've had a bit of a fall out with DH. We've been invited to his friend's wife's 40th on Saturday night. I've met the friend twice and his wife once. DH has replied to the invitation saying we'll be there despite me saying I wasn't sure if I was up to it. I had a C section last week and although I feel not too bad I have an infection in my wound and I'm as shattered as every other new Mum is with night feeds etc. I really don't feel I have the energy to make conversation with a group of people I don't know.
To complicate the matter, it's my Father's 70th the following night which I have to go. To be honest, I'm not sure whether I'll feel like partying that night either but I'd rather save my energy for that night.
Also, it would mean two nights away from my new baby and other kids which I don't really want to do at the moment.
Am I being unreasonable?

YANBU.

Don't go. It is outrageous that anyone would expect you to.

YANBU. Maybe your DH can go to his friend's wife's 40th, so you can stay home and rest up for your father's 70th? I'm sure that the friend and his wife will understand.

definitely not. i had a cs 8 days ago (congrats on your new arrival and if you want to chat to other may mums come and join us in the post-natal club) and definitely wouldnt be up for a party especially someone i dont really know. tell dh he can go on his own if he wants...

Your DH is being totally unreasonable.

Tell your DH he can go (if it means that much to him) but he has to come to your Father's 70th the next day as well. But of course YANBU not to want to go. Poor you.

No yanbu. Can your DH go on his won and would you be OK with that?
I can't see anyone being surprised at you declining! We went to DH's cousin's wedding when DS was 10 days, but left before the reception meal (we'd planned to, and told them). We only went to that because it was close family and a wedding!

own I have dyslexic fingers

YANBU - I certainly wouldn't go to you DH's friend's wife's party. Not in a bizillion years. I had a serious infection in my CS scar as well (was in hospital until 14 days post delivery) so you need as much rest and recouperation as possible. No parties at all i would say.

Didnt realise you'd be leaving your baby at home too- not sure i could do that either yet, as mine is only just getting used to being in the world with his mummy and daddy...definitely YANBU

YANBU

Ah - 2 days away from your baby - no way!!
TBH I wouldn't even go to your father's 70th - why can't you take the baby?

Personally, I wouldn't be going to either. Wouldn't want to leave a tiny baby, or drag myself out. The 40th isn't someone who will miss you, and your Dad would rather you looked after yourself

YANBU - your DH is BU!

Your DH is being really selfish.

Phew! Glad I'm not being a selfish cow!
I don't really want to go to my Dad's do either so we won't stay long. I'll take the baby to that one but the 40th will be a bit of a mad night full of mad drinking showbiz types and I don't want her being passed round drunken strangers or having to refuse a cuddle to people I don't know.
DH is now refusing to go to my Dad's 70th but I don't actually care at the moment as long as I can stay at home on Saturday night!

Sorry to be blunt but your DH sounds like an arse. He is now blackmailing you by saying he is not coming to your dad's 70th? He sounds like a spoilt brat.
Look after yourself and your gorgeous new baby.

had similar dilemma with friend's wedding a month after DS (1st child) was born - going would have involved me leaving DS behind (as I'd have had to fly to a different country and he was too young for immunisations)with a babysitter, expressing enough milk to last him, then enduring the weekend without him, leaking everywhere and generally feeling unsociable. So I didn't go and best friend sulked for years - it was never spoken about but we were never that close after that....until she had her own baby and then said she totally understood why I hadn't been able to go (but admitted she hadn't at the time!!)

Fuck me! YA so NBU.

I wouldn't be up to partying after 2 months!!!

I'm afraid to confirm that your DH is being a right nobbo.

YANBU. What everyone else has said. And at your dh.

Why does your dh care so much more about his colleague's wife than his own wife? He is being an arse.

Well presumably your dh has to go to your dad's 70th to drive you there?

He is being a complete idiot IMHO and needs to be told - why is he so keen to drag you out when you have a 12 day old baby and a C section with infection? Is he so keen to 'show off' his new baby? If so maybe he could take some fab pictures of you all with him instead? Your baby is afr too young to be taken into that sort of place - thing of all the germs etc (and I am not one normally to worry about germs but I do when it comes to a tiny baby)!

Could you enlist the help of the midwife to get him to see some sense?

Personally I wouldn't be that keen on the dad thing either, but at least as it's family you can just sit on your arse with your baby glued to you and not stay long and everyone will understand as they are family.

Going to pub/bar for workmate colleague totally different kettle of fish and if he can't see that he truly is a cock of the first order.

(Although I'm sure he is very nice the rest of the time )

YANBU, and your DH is being an arse.