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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave my DS asleep in the car whilst on our drive?

76 replies

cheekster · 19/05/2009 20:05

To cut a long story short, my neighbour thinks IABU?????

Even though the car is on our drive and I was sat in the kitchen so could seen when he woke up.

He has just gone into the next stage car seat (hes 10 mo) and previously I could just carry the carseat indoors. But now I leave him to sleep in the car as I know he'd wake if I had to take him out of the seat to bring him indoors.

So AIBU? Surely other people do this too.

OP posts:

Nappyzoneisabeetrootrunner · 19/05/2009 22:20

I am a great one for thinking the worst will happen and i will spend the rest of my life blaming myself so i never do. The petrol stn thing is a no go for me for this reason so i always pay at pump where possible. If ds falls asleep in car and its not worth risking waking to move to his bed i just sit in the car for a bit send dh to get me abrew up and read a book.

ramalama · 19/05/2009 22:21

I've done this with all of mine

leave the windows open and keep checking on them

I'm sure there have been tragic outcomes on occasions but you'll find that with almost any given situation.

Neighbour should mind their own

Lovingeveryminute · 19/05/2009 22:24

I don't do this and would never leave them in car at the petrol station either...if you are asking about it then you are surely not 100% convinced either.
I have always taken the attitude that if child is really tired they won't wake up (or will go straight back to sleep) when I move them to cot/bed etc; if they wake up - fine. (I don't have wonderfully well trained kids either ...eg 18 months and still seepless nights.)
Having said that, I'm sure I take risks that other parents don't.

rasputin · 19/05/2009 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weebump · 19/05/2009 22:44

YANBU, but I haven't done it yet myself, and don't know if I would. My lo is 17 months old, and we rarely have journeys where she falls asleep without waking when we stop. And being my only child, it's easy to take her into the petrol station to pay.

But how about this for madness: My cousin used to let her son 'play' in the car. She and her mum would happily let him sit in the car (not in a car seat) to play while they got on with stuff in the house . He wasn't waiting for them or anything, he was there for his own entertainment.

PacificDogwood · 19/05/2009 22:49

YANBU.

Have done it with all 3 of mine.

mumof3tobe · 20/05/2009 04:18

I have done it with both of mine. As with others it comes down to common sense about weather. Keep blankets in car if cold and windows down if warm. Would never leave them in car if hot or to cold.
I would never dream of taking them into petrol station to pay as their hands wander far too much, especially when they had all the sweeties on display while paying!!
I used to live in a very quite part of scotland and the crime was minimal, checked on them every 10mins or so. If DD was sleeping for only 5 to 10 mins then I can take her in and put on couch. But DS would always wake up and be grumpy so was a lot easier to leave him.
I now live in Canada and only leave them in car to pay for petrol. We live in a small town and people here think they know best and some wouldn't hesitate to call social services. So I don't risk it!!

2rebecca · 20/05/2009 08:24

I used to do this. I put the baby moniter in the car so it went off when they woke, about the only time I used it. Usually leave kids in car when I pay for petrol.

messymissy · 20/05/2009 08:42

NEVER never never would leave dd in the car on her own with or without a baby monitor!!! no way!!

would you leave your handbag on the car seat and walk away - even on the drive?

I always get dd out of the car paying for petrol or use the pay at the pump type, as for sleeping in the car - only once did i leave her in her seat when we got home - i sat in the car too would not dream of going in the house without her.

Usually i pick her up and she will drop off back to sleep as soon as we are in the house.

frasersmummy · 20/05/2009 08:56

I didnt do it when ds was little.. paranoid mother

but just last week (he is now 4) he was sooo cranky due to lack of sleep that I resorted to driving and driving till he fell asleep

I was out 2 hours and 10mins from home he fell asleep. I wasnt going to wake him .. so he slept in the drive for about 45 mins.

I could see him from the window.. you should have heard him when he woke up... arrrggh I'VE BEEN ABANDONED he yelled as I dashed to the car

sarfeast .. whats wrong with napping in the garden my ds always did this .. for hours at a time

MinnieMummy · 20/05/2009 12:46

Missymissy the handbag analogy isn't quite the same because the number of people who would break into a car to steal credit cards is going to be a lot higher than the number of people who would break into a car to hurt a child.
Where I live, yes I would leave my handbag in the locked car on my drive if I knew I was going back out in half an hour actually... but I understand that a lot of people wouldn't.
Realistically I think the chances of a car randomly catching fire with the engine turned off are absolutely tiny.

Gateau · 20/05/2009 13:15

We live on a main road and have no driveway so leaving DS (2) sleeping in the car is a no-go. My major worry would be another car bashing into ours.
What I do when DS falls aslep in the car- which he nearyl alwyas does - is get a coffee from McDonalds, park up and read my book.
I would rather have that hour or so to be in the house doing much needed stuff, but as DS no longer naps in thoe house, that ain't going to happen.
So, given no other choice, I just sit and relax and enjoy the peace!

WoTmania · 20/05/2009 13:24

YANBU
I don't so this at home as car is next to pavement and road but at my parents' and Gparents' I do. I leave it unlocked with windows open (and a door if it is warm) then we sit in the kitchen where we have a clear view and one of us is able to watch at all times.
I have at times only driven over to get DS1 to have a nap of more than 15 mins.

WoTmania · 20/05/2009 13:26

don't do this

Wendy1983 · 20/05/2009 13:38

Hmm its a tricky one. personally I wouldn't do it, although if you are watching constantly from the window then I guess its ok.

NorbertDentressangle · 20/05/2009 13:46

I've never done this but thats mainly because you can't see our driveway/garage from the house as its the other side of the garden with no windows looking in that direction.

If I've arrived home with a sleeping DC in the car and I know tht DP is in I've been known to phone him in the house and ask him to bring a cup of coffee and the paper/a book out for me. I would then sit and relax making the most of the peace and quiet

NorbertDentressangle · 20/05/2009 13:48

oh, but I did used to do this at my parents as the car was literally on the drive outside the living room window -I would watch almost constantly though as they used to hate waking up in an empty car

Eve4Walle · 20/05/2009 13:51

I've never done this and would never. I can't see the drive from my kitchen window but even if it did, I doubt I'd risk it TBH.

Different strokes as they say though!

babyhouse · 20/05/2009 13:54

I always left DS and DD in car asleep when they were little as didnt want to wake them, checked out of kitchen window or front door regularly.
Also always left/leave them in car(now 7&4)at petrol stations, think you are the parent and risk assess yourself, dont take any criticism from other people!

PuppyMonkey · 20/05/2009 14:01

It's a wonder any of us dare to get inside cars at all, there are so many of them just randomly bursting into flames!

PolkaDotRachel · 20/05/2009 14:25

I do this on the odd occasion DS stays asleep when I park up.

But we have a large drive off the road and live in a quiet lane in a small village.

I can see the car from the kitchen window and usually leave the front door open so I can hear him when he wakes.

I would not have a problem leaving my handbag in the car or leaving from front door unlocked for that matter as we live in a very low-crime area.

(Don't tell any burglars!)

As for petrol stations, when I am with DS I try to use "pay at pump" if I am in town, but if I use the village station I leave him in the car but I keep one eye on the car at all times.

Neighbours should mind their own business. Everyone does things differently!!!!

Morloth · 20/05/2009 14:38

I think it is situational. I used to do it all the time at home, but our carport was behind the gate to the back yard and the door to the kitchen was built into the carport. So I would wind all the windows down and leave the kitchen door open.

He was as safe there as he would have been in the house.

Wouldn't leave unattended to pay for petrol or anything though, loved places with pay at pump option. Too many stories, too many possibilities. I felt better having him with me. Though I used to try to fill up when he wasn't around anyway - can only remember having to get him out a couple of times.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/05/2009 14:42

people on here will always be on 2 sides

OMG how can you leave your child in a car, you are a bed parent/neglectful etc
yes fine to do it as long as you can see/hear your child

i am in camp no 2

just make sure that windows are left open, you dont want your child to bake in a car if hot

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/05/2009 14:42

bad not bed

valleysprincess · 20/05/2009 18:16

I do it. I've got a snazzy BT baby monitor which takes batteries as well as mains power. It tells the temperature so you know if the car is getting too hot.

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