Need some perspective please.
I've been friends with a group of women who all have children the same age as my DD, for about 5 years. They are all incredibly nice and we're very good friends, see each other weekly at least, and have supported each other through tough times.
All the children have their squabbles and fight over sharing etc, usually their parents or me if it's my DD, will step in, or one of us will remind them all to play nicely.
My one friend's DD goes to the same school as her (the others dont). The problem is she is really horrible. I know thats a terrible thing to say about a 4 year old but she is spiteful. Whereas the other kids will fight over Barbies / toys she will call my DD 'stupid' or say when my DD gets to school 'She cant sit here with us'. She tells my DD all the time at school that no one is allowed to play with her.
It's getting silly now, we've spoken to the school and they've spoken to her mother (about the child's attitude in general), but this is the third time we've had to go in over it.
I know I should just speak to the mother myself (she is a very good friend) but I just can't bring myself to. When they've been here for coffee I've seen her DD hit her in the face, scream, shout and generally act horribly for 30 minutes or more at a time. Her mum just asks her not to!!! In a really soft voice!! No repercusions, nothing. When her DD scratched my DD down the arm on purpose she asked her to apologise to my DD. The girl refused. If it was me I wouldnt have left the house until my DD had done so, but eventually after asking her to about 10 times she just said 'Well Im very disappointed in you X'
When her DD hit her in the face with a doll (on purpose because her mum said she had to share), she told her off and said she couldnt have a smiley face on her chart when they got home then two minutes later because she cried said she could!!
I'm absolutely at the end of my tether. I dont want to upset my friend but Im so fed up with this child, not just for the way she treats my DD but because she treats her mum that way too. I just want to shake my friend!!
I've seen her DD scream and cry over the most ridiculous things, my DD once handed her a cup she wanted and she screamed and shouted and cried for over 20 minutes because she'd wanted to get the cup herself! Her mum offered to put the cup back where it was so she could get it but even that didnt work (personally I'd have put her on the naughty step or sent her to her bedroom!)
Any advice? BTW shes an only child and they only want one too. I'm thinking of pulling my daughter out of that school because it worries me its only going to get worse as they get older.