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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Me, you and DD"

31 replies

Commisioner · 18/05/2009 13:47

"It will be nice when your children are with their dad ... it will be nice with just me, you and my DD"

Partner has said this a few times now. I find it offensive. He's basically saying it will be nice when my kids are out so its just us two and his DD .... like my two are "extras". aibu to be offended by this?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 18/05/2009 13:48

Having just read your other thread,i'd say run for the hills!!! now!

RedCharityBonney · 18/05/2009 13:50

Oh listen!

ALARM BELLS!

screamingabdab · 18/05/2009 13:50

I have no experience of this situation, but , no YANBU.

What do you say to him when he says this ?

pinkstarfish · 18/05/2009 13:50

I'd be very offended

Either talk to him, or leave.

notnowbernard · 18/05/2009 13:51

Are you taking the piss, Commisioner?

fucksticks · 18/05/2009 13:51

It is a bit odd. Are your two younger or something or quite a bit older so he could possibly mean that you will get to spend more time as a couple when just his DD is there?

If not, then ask him what he meant!
Just say 'what do you mean it will be nice when the kids are with their Dad? i can understand what you mean if you say it will be nice to spend time on our own but not really sure why you say it'll be nice to be without my children but with yours?'
and see what he says!

HuwEdwards · 18/05/2009 13:51

he sounds like a tosser

onagar · 18/05/2009 13:52

I'd be offended at that. However is there a context I don't know about. Is DD perhaps tiny and likely to sleep while your two are older and need more attention?

Haribosmummy · 18/05/2009 13:52

I'd be very offended if someone wanted my kids out of the way - but still expected me to deal with THEIR kids.

I just read your other thread too..

YANBU.

RedOnHerHead · 18/05/2009 13:52

what everyone else has said

SarahL2 · 18/05/2009 13:52

Other thread?

duchesse · 18/05/2009 13:52

wicked stepfather alarm bells ringing for me.

roulade · 18/05/2009 13:53

From your other threads this guy sounds like a complete loser! Get shot quick, your ds's are much too important to be put into 2nd place.

rubyslippers · 18/05/2009 13:53

3rd thread today about your DP

TBH I would be running for the hills

this comment, in the context of your other threads does not show your partner in a good light

you come as a package - does he not realise that?

don't move in with him

RoseOfTheOrient · 18/05/2009 13:54

Commisioner's other thread

Original poster
Commisioner · 18/05/2009 13:54

I'm not taking the piss I'm just sat here thinking things through and its all bubbling to the surface and I'm thinking "wtf am I doing?!"

The kids are all more or less the same age. his is 12, mine are 10 and 8.

OP posts:
RoseOfTheOrient · 18/05/2009 13:54

oh and YANBU, on either of your threads

notnowbernard · 18/05/2009 13:55

Lots of threads about arsehole DP and his numerous examples of crappy tosser-like behaviour

OP wondering whether there is a future for them and whether she should move in or not

OP, how much feedback do you need?! Seriously, this r/ship doesn't have legs

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 18/05/2009 13:56

You have posted at least six threads complaining about this guy over the past couple of weeks.
FGS dump him.
End of.

Twims · 18/05/2009 13:57

I would finish it - your last few posts in the last couple of weeks make it sound like there will always be an us and a them mentality - not a all 5 of us mentality.

SarahL2 · 18/05/2009 13:59

He's only likely to get worse if you and your kids move in and live with him.

It'll soon become obvious to them that he massively favours his own child over them.

Run for the hills!!!

unavailable · 18/05/2009 14:08

Well, I think YABU...

YABU to be contemplating moving in.

YABU to still be in a relationship with this man.

YABU to have started several posts on the same issue and then ignored all the advice.

Most of all YA(both) BU to all the children caught up in this.

ChippingIn · 18/05/2009 22:57

YANBU to feel this way
YABU not to have ditched the twat before now

I know it's not easy when you think you've found someone to spend forever with, to find out he's a bit of a twunt, but honestly, better to face up to it now than to keep getting pissed off with his increasingly wanky behaviour... it will only get worse! Don't do this to yourself and your kids!

ninedragons · 19/05/2009 05:42

It's not going to work out with this man.

Go and look for somebody with whom it is going to work.

Eve4Walle · 19/05/2009 06:14

Get out now.

You obviously know it won't work and you shouldn't have this many doubts.