"Me, you and DD"

[Commisioner]

"It will be nice when your children are with their dad ... it will be nice with just me, you and my DD"

Partner has said this a few times now. I find it offensive. He's basically saying it will be nice when my kids are out so its just us two and his DD .... like my two are "extras". aibu to be offended by this?

I think your posts suggest that you really do know that this isn't going to work.
Please be brave now before someone gets hurt even more or your children get hurt.

If you can't get out of this relationship for you, then please do it for your children. Imagine what it's going to be like for them growing up with a step-father who clearly doesn't want them around? It'll be hell. It's only another few years and they won't be living at home and you can live with whoever you like regardless of your children - while they're young, though, you need to put them first.

List 5 good things about him.

Haven't read other thread yet, going by this OP I'd say how dare he!!?? He should never feel it OK to put your children down like this. Tell him if he's got something to say, just say it, making passive aggressive comments like this puts him in a very bad light. Does he undermine you or your DC's regularly? If so, it's a sign that he's not someone you'd want a relationship with. My P is abusive, and insults my parenting to get to me, but wouldn't put the DC's down directly. How does your P talk to your children? Keep an eye on him, I hope it was just a one off tatty comment. Will read other thread later.

nothing good about this man in my eyes

how can you be with someone who dismisses your chidren so meanly easily?

You need to do some serious thinking, and have a proper talk with him.

1. He should not ignore his own daughter and stick his head in the sand regards to her issues. He should listen to her, reassure her and work something out.

1. He should not jeopardize your birthday night out, due to his own inability to deal with his daughter.

1. He should not wish your children out of the way, and shift responisbility of his daughter over to neither herself nor you.

I imagine that as soon as you move in, he will distance himself even further from his own child, and you will have to parent all three, with the added difficulty of dealing with a step daughter who is ignored by her dad, and your own children being third wheels on the wagon to your life together.

This will only cause you irritation, aggrevation, and heartahce, and will not be good for your children.