to be upset about this

[PM73]

We have to attend a parents evening this coming Wed evening which will give us a chance to have a tour of the pre-school our ds will attend in Sept,we also have to order his uniform then & its one of those you have to attend evenings.

So i asked my Mum last week if she could sit for us as children arent allowed to attend,she said yes & we thought great,thats that sorted.

Went round to see parents Fri morning & asked again about Wed, Mum said yes thats fine,even said she would get the train to ours & we could collect her from the station.

So Sat morning she texts me to say my Dad has bought them a holiday for her bday,i replied oh that sounds lovely,then i had a thought that she would be away for Wed,so i asked her & she said oh yes we are,we go on Wed but dont worry i can ask *** for you,i am sure she will sit for you???

My ds hardly knows this person,so i have asked my friend to have ds at her house for me.

I am so pissed off with my Mum,i have only ever asked her to sit for me once before & ds is nearly 3.

AIBU to be pissed off or am i overreacting?

Now I can relate to that. My MIL said that all the time when I was pregnant, so as a result I have hardly ever asked her to babysit. My mum is nearer anyway and willing to have dd any time. She has had her for 2 days a week so I can work too.

When mum went into hospital once we asked MIL to cover the two days for a fortnight. She did the first two then when I went to pick dd up on the second she said "oh by the way we can't have her next week we're busy". It really left me in shit creek - it's not like covering a few hours at night or something, it was two whole days till 5.30 pm. I had to take leave. We've not asked them since - not a deliberate thing, but I guess my mum is always so willing.

I guess I should feel more sympathy for you than I initially did . I remember how annoyed I was at MIL at the time.

What's sad though is that dd is so close to my mum and dad and MIL is a bit jealous of that. But I do think she finds it hard to understand how much my parents are willing to spend their time having dd.

What's interesting is that MIL says she never had any help when she was bringing up dh and his sister. So I suppose she's only doing what she is used to.

I would have thought that just one of you could have gone. You must have had a tour before you chose the preschool so it isn't essential to see it again and if the DCs aren't there there isn't a lot of point.

No we havent had a tour yet,its the pre-school attached to our local infants school.

We both want to go & see where our ds will be for 2 1/2 hrs each day,every other mum from our toddlers group has their husband going so its not just me being precious.

Anyway its all sorted now so no harm done eh?

If there was no other way round it then yes you could go on your own, but there's nothing wrong with your dh wanting to go along at all IMO.

You've set me thinking now. I just remembered that MIL had dsd on our wedding night for us - she didn't cancel that but she did phone us in our hotel the next morning at 9.30 am to ask how soon we were going to pick dsd up! Dh said "in a bit" and then turned the phone off .

Pm...but your dad is a man ...they kinda don't think things through at times....or, he may also didn't want to blurt out the arrangement made, as it was a surprise, etc...

like I said, before I can understand you being annoyed and I am glad you said that it was mostly about venting your anger ratehr than you actually considering a big fall out over this.

I wouldn't want a tour while the DCs weren't there-it would put me off the whole place.

Thanks everyone for your inputs