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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with childminder for giving DS ready made pasta?

1003 replies

Snippets · 15/05/2009 23:08

The freshly stuffed type you buy from M&S? We had an agreement that all meals would be freshly cooked. I take ages making each meal for him from scratch and have never given him pre-prepared or convenience food and bit annoyed she has.

OP posts:
MollieO · 18/05/2009 00:10

OP I don't think you helped yourself by describing your nanny as a CM. One is an employee the other is a service provider. Also then saying you pay your 'nanny' £3000/mth probably didn't add to your credibility. You didn't advise whether your nanny/CM had written guidelines re what type of food she should be providing your dc. You also said that your dc had leftovers from your breakfast for theirs, which imo seems quite odd when you are apparently so particular for other meals.

You should have a re-read of your OP and maybe realise how implausible it sounded.

treedelivery · 18/05/2009 00:10

Was just going to say all that.

I snorted when I read your op and rather hoped you had a hard hat - but actually in the bigger picture I agree with you. Ideally a nanny would not give an infant any sort of ready meal [although I personally would not mind it occasionally].

If you only give basic info and aren't around much then I am afraid people will run with it.

However some posts were off topic and judgey, but these were largely ignored within the debate. T'is the way of mn.

KingCanuteIAm · 18/05/2009 00:38

I think you also lost us when someone said something inappropriate, someone else told them off and you came back demanding to know why they wern't roasted "Where's the roasting" this is the normal kind of line of someone who is trolling for fun or effect. Not someone who wants help.

piscesmoon · 18/05/2009 08:09

I think that if the full facts had been given at the start then you wouldn't have had such a hard time. As the thread gets longer people don't read all the comments. They read the first one and wade in-I should think that at least 50% still thought it was the CM and not a nanny in your own home.

ReneRusso · 18/05/2009 08:45

agreed pisces, also age of ds was not in original post - so it is left to the readers imagination. makes a big difference between a 1yr old baby and a big bruising 8 yr old, for example

Washersaurus · 18/05/2009 09:27

Your OP was much more than just asking for opinions about a Nanny not sticking to an arrangment regarding food - it went on to become a judgement about the choices other parents make.

I have little sympathy for anyone who thinks she is better than anyone else just because she chooses not to feed her children a particular type of food. Insinuating that others are all pumping their children full of crap is what I call harsh tbh.

You deserve all the venom you received in the 26 pages (and probably a bit more) IMO.

Joggler · 18/05/2009 09:31

this is a TYPIcAL aibu thread

contentious title
no detail given

OP fucks off

then comes back in with sad sob story

thumbwitch · 18/05/2009 09:59

v. true Joggler. And now she's fucked off again because she got the response that her op deserved.

duchesse · 18/05/2009 10:14

Huh? Are you expecting her to grow the wheat, harvest and grind it, then make her own flipping ravioli? Are you having a laugh?

KayHarkerDoesNotSimper · 18/05/2009 10:45

Well, if it's good enough for the little red hen...

muffle · 18/05/2009 10:54

This is classic MN snippets. Threads get snarky and then silly and then run away with themselves - ESPECIALLY in the AIBU topic. You can see clearly that in the view of the majority of MNers, your angst was unnecessary, and words are not minced on here. At the same time, it was a classic, very entertaining thread and if you stick around you will probably love MN.

Stayingsunnygirl · 18/05/2009 11:14

Snippets - do you not see how your rather superior attitude about how well you feed your ds and how anything less is 'stuffing [the child] with crap' have made you look very very pfb and also has been rather offensive for those of us who aren't as anal perfect as you??

As plenty of other people have said, it's not the end of the world - one meal of M&S pasta isn't going to scar him for life!

And if the M&S pasta was already in the fridge, you can hardly blame the nanny for thinking that it lived up to your high standards!!

ThingOne · 18/05/2009 11:16

Snippets you came back. To go back to your OP, with revised background info, yes you are being unreasonable to be annoyed that your nanny fed your child something she found in the fridge.

You are being extremely unreasonable and rude to the vast majority of parents when you suggest that some bought stuffed pasta is in any way an unsuitable food as a once off.

When you hand over care of your children to somebody else, for whatever reason, you have to accept that you cannot control everything that happens. You will go mad if you try to. You might, for example, find that if you were at home with your daughter all day every day for eighteen months that you just can't be frigging bothered with making another organic vegetable and lentil stew for lunch.

bleh · 18/05/2009 11:36

Well, if this is the biggest problem you've ever had, or ever will have, you are a VERY fortunate individual.

noddyholder · 18/05/2009 11:40

How much do you pay her?I am assuming its £££ to have a childminder who freshly makes pasta etc.Get over yourself wait til he's 14 and you are walking around in town and you see him and his middle class organically fed and grown friends eating burgers and drinking 20p cola!Then you will be wishing m and s pasta was the worst thing to have passed his lips!

Stayingsunnygirl · 18/05/2009 11:55

Noddy - the OP came back after her first post to say that actually it was her nanny she was complaining about, not a childminder, and that she pays her £2k net pa.

thumbwitch · 18/05/2009 11:59

stayingsunny, pmsl, if her nanny was only getting £2k pa, I wouldn't be surprised if she was hocking the family silver as well!
£2k pm.

Dottoressa · 18/05/2009 12:03

LOL, ThingOne. After seven years at home with the DCs, the novelty of this kind of cuisine does wear off slightly...

piscesmoon · 18/05/2009 12:11

People still think it is a CM! If you don't put the facts in the first message you will never get them across. The age should have also been there,as ReneRusso says, I had no idea we were talking about a baby. I don't think it helped by having the 'wrong' pasta in the fridge to begin with.

Stayingsunnygirl · 18/05/2009 12:39

Oooops - sorry, thumbwitch!

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2009 13:19

least snippets came back

i agree that many comments about her working were uncalled for

though the question still arises of

what was the pasta doing in the fridge in the first place

as i said in one of my previous posts, an ex mb told me off for giving my dc

chicken nuggets

i firmly told ex mb that as she does the shopping, i will cook what she buys!!

FabulousBakerGirl · 18/05/2009 13:23

Just to play devil's advocate. Some people buy things for themselves to eat that they ouldn't give to their child. That is probably why the pasta was in the fridge.

I still think it was pointless to change things as it complicated things too much and the nanny will know it was her anyway.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2009 13:25

true fbg

db has some prime fillet steak in there which will NEVER be allowed to go in my beef casserole for my charges

FabulousBakerGirl · 18/05/2009 13:26

blondes - she told you off for feeding your own child chicken nuggets????

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2009 13:29

soz no - dc as in darling charges not children

she told me off for cooking food that she had brought for them, ie in their freezer

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