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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accept this person as a FaceBook friend

34 replies

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 13/05/2009 20:09

I guess some people use FaceBook for different reasons but to be honest I think its slightly strange that she's asked me.

I really only have FB for close friends, including a lot who have moved overseas and old uni mates who I don't see often. Its great for keeping in touch with them.

I work as a midwife and someone who I met through work, for a couple of hours has requested me as a friend. Its not even as if I was her community m/w and we built up a relationship over a period of months, I looked after her in labour. I don't know her, she seemed nice but I don't want to be her mate. But likewise I don't want to offend her by declining her.

OP posts:
MummyDragon · 13/05/2009 20:11

I think it's quite sweet that you looked after her in labour and she wants to be your online friend! But all you have to do is click on "ignore." What's the big deal?

PestoDrizzleMonster · 13/05/2009 20:12

I too have had a FB request today, from someone I know, but don't really have any connection with IYSWIM. I have just decided to ignore them. I hardly ever bump into her, so have decided it's worth risking. I can always claim I'm not on FB regularly or something like that... You could do the same?

valleysprincess · 13/05/2009 20:12

Lots of people use fb to 'collect' friends. It's a showing off thing. Ive had people try to add me who I barely know too. Just decline it and modify your profile to make it more private

nickytwotimes · 13/05/2009 20:12

It is nice that she thinks a lot of you of course, but like you I only have good friends on FB. I can't be arsed with the wankery. I'd just ignore I think.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 13/05/2009 20:13

I'm just going to feel guilty clicking on ignore. It seems so rude!

OP posts:
StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 13/05/2009 20:14

And she bought me nice chocs.

OP posts:
MummyDragon · 13/05/2009 20:15

I find it incredibly satisfying to "defriend" on Facebook every so often. I only have good friends on Facebook too as a rule, but every so often I get carried away and click on "accept" whenever I receive a request from someone I've only met once. It is my own fault for using Fbook in the first place!!

izyboy · 13/05/2009 20:15

Not sure how FB works but she probably wanted to show you that she thought you had made a 'life enhancing' contribution. Really, see this as a compliment. I think some people do FB for all sorts of reasons (have Jamie Oliver as a 'friend' tho' they've never met him for example and therefore exchange a few messages). Someone with more knowledge will be along shortly I am sure.

wolfnipplechips · 13/05/2009 20:15

I used to feel uncomfortable about ignoring people but now i don't care. Would you want her to know where you were going on your holidays or see pics of you a bit tipsy or looking at pics of your dc if not then just ignore. If she was normal she wouldn't have requested you.

posieparker · 13/05/2009 20:15

I have a FB request from a girl that called me names every lunch time at school, I ignore she requests again and again and again.
Just ignore.

posieparker · 13/05/2009 20:17

And as I chat on here another request from a girl that loathed me at school comes through.....

izyboy · 13/05/2009 20:18

I just wonder.... because being helped in labour is such a personal and 'special' thing... if you ignore or turn her down .. I dunno..

Posey · 13/05/2009 20:21

One of my dd's 12 year old friends requested me as a friend . I declined. I really do not want to see what they chat about, likewise I don't want to have to be careful what I write. I think he likes to "collect" friends.

MsMaggieBeauregarde · 13/05/2009 20:21

Don't worry about it! Ignore it.
I sent somebody a request recently as we were in a photo together and I was going to tag her. SHe didn't respond, but then looking at her list, it's mostly her australian family I think, and I certainly didn't think, oooh how mean of her not to friend me! will still be friendly when I see her, but not all over her like a rash iykwim.

Surfermum · 13/05/2009 20:21

I don't do anything with the ones I don't want to befriend, just leave them there! My first husband is in facebook limbo land while I decide if I want to accept him or not ... he's been there months though.

InternationalFlight · 13/05/2009 20:23

Oh God I tried to 'friend' my ex-GP

He hasn't got any friends

it's rather sad

we'd got on rather well over something and as I'd moved practices I thought I would add him...never heard back, UNsurprisingly

MsMaggieBeauregarde · 13/05/2009 20:23

ps, i ignored my friend's boss and feel guilty about it now though. Especially as my list has mushroomed. need to cull it. I started out with all the best of intention.s

MsMaggieBeauregarde · 13/05/2009 20:24

what 's and ex GP??

MsMaggieBeauregarde · 13/05/2009 20:25

oh a doctor. I was thinking x grandparent for somereason.

wolfnipplechips · 13/05/2009 20:25

Would you request your GP and would you expect him/her to ignore or turn down?

InternationalFlight · 13/05/2009 20:26

it's like, your GP but, erm, not any more

as in Dr

wolfnipplechips · 13/05/2009 20:27

ex posts with IA
god really the answer to that was supposed to no.

InternationalFlight · 13/05/2009 20:28

I wouldn't have added him if he was actually still my Dr., I don';t think it would be ethical or something...actually no, he would have been terrified that I'd ask him lots of questions all day every day which is what I used to do.

He was a strange chap. He kept saying how amazing my medical knowledge was and telling me to chat to the consultant personally as there was no point him being a go between, I knew far more than he did

so I naturally thought, hey facebook relationship potential here

wolfnipplechips · 13/05/2009 20:30

Thats so funny. My gp is also my dh's colleague so we see him socially and i still wouldn't request him.

InternationalFlight · 13/05/2009 20:33

I think I got carried away, I was overly flattered...it was one of those days where you sit there thinking, 'Oh feck, there was that guy in junior 3, we held hands once, I'll just see where he is now!!'

you know. Or is it just me does that