To expect family members to remember I'm a coeliac when planning their buffets?

[pollykettlechips]

I'm probably being selfish and self-centred, but after this weekend at a Christening and a birthday where i had nothing to eat but a crappy GF sandwich and choc muffin that i brought along myself, I'm beginning to get really pissed off.

I was diagnosed over a year ago and since then there have been lots of family events, all of which I try to take with me something I can eat. Not once has there been even a token attempt to provide any GF food - even a couple of GF digestives would do the trick, at least i would appreciate the effort.

The consensus seems to be 'So? Bring your own?'. There's another birthday this weekend, on DH's side which is a long drive to get there, a long drive back, and I'm not sure i want to make the effort to just be hungry (Glutafin bread is awful but better than the others I've tried, so I only take a couple, along with a few biscuits - no wonder i'm piling on the pounds)

I know GF food is expensive and I'm not asking for my own personal buffet, and I know that the hosts have more important things to think about that my diet, but my DH and I ARE very considerete people and would without a doubt make the effort (and have done with other issues). But when my own sister can't be bothered, well I guess I'm just annoyed that as a considerate and thoughtful person, I seem to be always overlooked.

What to other coelics do at other people's buffets?

Eightieschick, I think you have it right - if you are having guests, it is a mark of good hospitality (and manners!) to make sure that you have got some food in for your guests, surely! My friends might think I'm mad and difficult, but they do always check with me what I can eat before I go anywhere. If I'm staying over, I'll usually take something along as well for breakfast, just in case!

I agree that it's not reasonable to expect the man or woman in the street to know, off the top of their heads, about all the different food allergies/dietary restrictions, but there is a wealth of information available, from food packaging to the internet.

And I'm sure that most people with a specific dietary need (or a child with one) wouldn't mind spending a few moments explaining what they (or their child) can and can't eat, to help their host or hostess work out a menu that will include foods suitable for them.

I think it's your job to explain to them what you can and can't eat,naming a few gluten free items that are easy available, rice, chicken, .

However I do think they are being unreasonable if they don't consider your food restrictions, once you've explained it to them.

I'd never consider allowing a guest to go hungry because I haven't made sufficient provisions for them.
I'd feel awful if I knew they had to go without, and the possible inconvenience of sourcing and checking labels for gluten free foods, would be far preferable to having a guest feel that their needs haven't been considered.

pollykettlechips

You might want to try having a look at low carb recipes/forums for lunches. There is obviously lots of cross over between the foods.

I am going to be brutally honest here and say that I don't really invite anyone over who needs "special" thinking about anymore.

It was getting out of hand, between no gluten, no meat, no soy, no milk, no nuts etc it was just too bloody hard. Obviously I still have friends who have restrictions but I now meet up with them at things that either don't involve food at all or we go out to eat.

My sis is coeliac. My Mum and I always go to massive lengths to cater for her. My brother and SIL, however, never do. I'm sure it's some kind of point they're making - my SIL never believes that anyone really has anything wrong with them and we should all just toughen up like her etc etc.... sometimes it makes me want to cry on my sis's behalf as she tries to make a meal out of a few crappy bits of carrot and cheese out of a massive spread.

Bah on your behalf, OP YAdefinitelyNBU.

No, sorry, what I said is wrong. We don't go to MASSIVE lengths to cater for her, because it's really not that hard. We just pick carefully menus we know she can take part in.

My lill bruv has a nut allergy and, since he was diagnosed, we have always made sure that all food available at family functions is suitable, the only exception to this being if it is at a resturant where we make sure he will have an option that he is happy with before we go but do not insist the whole resturant is nut free IYSWIM. The reason is that we feel that he should not be made to feel different over something so simply fixed - especially a non-nut food does not mean others miss out on anything!

This has been going on for years now so it is just a way of life but it started from the first day with no "getting used to it" period. I would say it would be easy to ensure there is at least a plate of food for you. Or at least for close family, maybe not those who are a bit further removed but your sister?

YANBU.